[INFJ] INFJ (M) and ENFP (F) had a fight after a 6th date and she wants to be friends now?

Hey just curious, would you mind telling me your age range? You dont have to give me an exact number if you don't feel comfortable with that.

 

Well, i think the more frustrating thing is the inability for her to be honest, the fact that i was clear in my mind asking her permission to date, and to address this situation in a most sudden way has been rather dis-tasteful. To regard intention and permission as a joke... i dont really have much to left to say about it. There wasn't the "I'm not sure about this, can we be clear that we're dating as friends first?....No, but the flirting went on, There was no intentionality on her end to pace and take it slow. It was just ambiguous, and it feels awful to be "played".

Sure it can just be a matter of she being unsure of what she wanted. Its just sudden, without warning because everything just seem liked it was going well and we weren't fighting and even in our last date there weren't signs of withdrawal. Well, i guess you're right, it doesn't really matter anymore at this point. I'm not going to force something she doesn't want, and i don't want this matter to consume more of my mental energy than it need to. I didn't understand why we needed to fight suddenly, and her adamant position to justify what a date is. But anyways, its clear - she doesn't want to date anymore so i'm not gonna hang around. I was pretty restrained in my response, and honestly i'd like to have told her "eh i have enough friends to come around. I don't need more friends , infact let me say hi to mr dark."

This isn't someone i met on a dating site. She was someone i did have some level of friendship back and forth with many years ago. But i guess, her response after me having said my piece will also be testament to her character and emotional maturity. I do find myself strange as INFJ, i somehow feel im a little more pro-active in wanting to resolve issues and having a high desire for clarity in communication.

 

Well yeah sometimes I don’t know what would surprise me any more these days. I honestly wasn’t expecting this kind of situation out of someone who is in her mid 30s but then again physical age and emotional each or two very separate things and it was my misjudgement to have assumed that she would behave otherwise

Dear of course interesting things which and she said about herself especially when I teased her about being a thug she would deny that and tell me to call her princess and will I thought it was just part of her personality perhaps it does bring other kinds of connotations As to how she actually perceives herself

I must say that she is quite a cute lady but there were also signs that she might be emotionally unavailable but I kind of brushed it off as part of a personality. And equally concerning is that I don’t know if she meant it as a joke but she did say that now that she’s got her gift maybe she should run away so that was kind of a Red flag as well though cause I was teasing her about being a runaway lion

Well so like I said I’ve left her a text message and I’ve re-iterated my position said I was disappointed that we needed to put distance between us But I also said you’re always bothering you and if you want to talk then I will listen and I just left it as that and I’m intentionally choosing not to put in any more energy into reaching out since I believe I’ve made myself fairly clear about it

 

With regards to the gift I thought that was pretty obvious that she wanted it I get teased her about the gift on several occasions and clearly she knew what it was.

And when I teased her about not giving her the gift because she had failed to identify what it was when I teased her with a quiz she said that no that’s mine and that I should buy one more for myself.

So that was a very clear intention to Ramp up the teasing about the gift. And it wasn’t something that I gave suddenly it was a Christmas present that I had prepared already for some time and slowly tease her about it and then I said no I’m not giving it to you she would deliberately show me those cats eyes with water with watery tears know that your emoji

Until when I handed over the Christmas present to her she made a comment and said oh I’ve got the Gfit now maybe I should run away. She clearly knew what the Christmas present was and she clearly wanted it so it just wasn’t a gift that I gave suddenly out of the blue that was also deliberate

But you know the saying you’re someone shows you who they are you better believe it and if you wanna find out someone intention you should observe their behaviour treating the waiter or waitress.

In my own version I’ve showered her With my concern, care, wisdom and resources treated her with respect and this is what I get back so I suppose that behaviour itself is quite telling. And if someone mistreats the privileges that is given to them then it also shows a measure of their heart and maturity perhaps

 

Yeap, sounds about pretty much how the cookie crumbles. Disappeared into thin air! Poooof! Maybe some people are conflict adverse. I find myself in a very strange place these days.
Not that I run head on into conflict, but im also learning more about myself on how I handle conflict in my 30s after being re-typed as INFJ. I waited a day, sent a text, waited a few more days and sent a text.
But there also comes a point when my patience runs out. And i'm like hokay, you do you, and i'll do me. Even being friends for more than 6 7 years, i suppose not all friendships even with the long history means nothing at this point.

Well I do appreciate the responses, Asa. Well, i guess its time to abandon-ship and swim back to the shoreline, wherever that is.

Ordz