The Introvert and Living Alone
- Thread starter bamf
- Start date
I've been living alone for the past 3 years and I love it. Every time I visit my parents I'm reminded just how nice solitude can be (nothing against my parents, I just need tons of space). I'm detached enough from society that I'm not lonely 98% of the time (though that 2% can sting pretty badly at times).
Living alone means I don't really have a responsibility to anyone at all times.
I have a lot of friends, and I love going to visit them, spending time with them and helping them out if they need me too, but I I don't want that to be my life, and I lived with my friends, while it wouldn't be my whole life, it would be more of my life than I want it to be, if that makes sense.
I like my alone time, I like listening to music at very loud volumes, singing and playing my harp/violin for an hour or so without having to worry about what other people think. Pluss since music is such a big part of my life, and composing and songwriting are things that I occasionally actually get payed money to do, living with other people would make that a lot harder.
Before I moved into this place, I lived with another woman who I knew and our neighbour was over on most nights and once every couple of weeks another guy would come and stay. I liked it a lot, and they were great people, but I was under a lot of obligation to join in activities with them, boardgames, cards, shared meals etc, and that was a lot more company than I personlly care for.
I can cook what I like, whitch is also a big advantage to living alone. I love eating meat and I hated being restricted when I could cook it by the vegetarians.
actually, it's going to be really odd to see how I go living with my husband full time next year. I hope I'm not too difficult!
I have a lot of friends, and I love going to visit them, spending time with them and helping them out if they need me too, but I I don't want that to be my life, and I lived with my friends, while it wouldn't be my whole life, it would be more of my life than I want it to be, if that makes sense.
I like my alone time, I like listening to music at very loud volumes, singing and playing my harp/violin for an hour or so without having to worry about what other people think. Pluss since music is such a big part of my life, and composing and songwriting are things that I occasionally actually get payed money to do, living with other people would make that a lot harder.
Before I moved into this place, I lived with another woman who I knew and our neighbour was over on most nights and once every couple of weeks another guy would come and stay. I liked it a lot, and they were great people, but I was under a lot of obligation to join in activities with them, boardgames, cards, shared meals etc, and that was a lot more company than I personlly care for.
I can cook what I like, whitch is also a big advantage to living alone. I love eating meat and I hated being restricted when I could cook it by the vegetarians.
actually, it's going to be really odd to see how I go living with my husband full time next year. I hope I'm not too difficult!
for years I craved a place of my own. I had lived with parents obviously. I had lived with friends and I had lived with a girlfriend. I knew I needed my own space and it became a kind of obsession of mine. I felt that I would never be happy until I could have a place where I could be me without worrying about other people invading my space.
I finally got a place all to myself about 6 years ago and it was great.
I'm now sick of it and need some company. I couldn't live with friends again as that drove me crazy and there's no way I will ever move back in with my obsessively negative mother so I guess I need a girlfriend to move in with.
I finally got a place all to myself about 6 years ago and it was great.
I'm now sick of it and need some company. I couldn't live with friends again as that drove me crazy and there's no way I will ever move back in with my obsessively negative mother so I guess I need a girlfriend to move in with.
Or an animal with which you share a deep sexual relationship.
Like a lovely Chinchilla, and when it dies, you can make a coat out of its fur!
Go ahead, kill it.
----
I actually think I'll do better with perhaps an introverted partner/roomie than by myself or in some kind of dorm.
I LOVED IT. I hope to live alone again soon. I technically do now, but being next door to my family, I might as well live in the same building.
I don't think I'd want to live alone forever, but I don't want to share my space unless it's with someone very special....that sounds bad, but it's true. I really value my space.
I don't think I'd want to live alone forever, but I don't want to share my space unless it's with someone very special....that sounds bad, but it's true. I really value my space.
Last edited:
I have lived alone for a very long time. I do enjoy it, but only because my work life, rail commuting, and dining out all the time at my favorite place gets me around people a good bit. Solitude is a good balance to all that. I remember a wise saying: "Let those who are afraid of community beware of solitude, and let those who are afraid of solitude should beware of community." Trust me, given some of the crazy people I hang out with, solidude is usually most welcome!
Yeah I love the space. Except I get way directionless and lost in my solitude. And then I don't know what I should be doing with my time and need other energies to bounce off I've found. When I don't I drift. So then while I love being alone. its also a double edged sword. I need my space, there is no question except I would love to find my space with with another who loves their space as much as me. In that way we would understand alone time. My friends don't understand it and think I need to touch base every now and again but I really don't. That's why I'm spending a small fortune living alone right now rather than share renting, less hassles, I would of share rented but nobody wanted to so I got fed up. And when I was share renting a long while now, I felt even more introverted and alone than I do now strangely.
You know Melkor LOVES the attention PJ...Might as well give him a hug too cause he reallllllyyyy loves those.
Is that a thread derailing I hear in the distance? Sorry MF, couldn't resist
*hugs Melkor just to watch him squirm* *hugs Melkor again before he can dash away*
Anyway, I have never lived alone. I have lived with my sister for the past 10 years or so which has been fabulous. I can't imagine living with anybody else because she respects my need to be alone. However, I think we are just a couple years away from being the crazy, old maid cat ladies for our block...
Hello, first post here 
I'm currently having an experience that is very relevant to this topic. It's my freshman year of college, and I'm living in a dorm, sharing a room with another girl. Now, before I left for school, I told myself "Oh, don't be so negative. Maybe it won't be so bad." Many times, I think like that, but I know myself, very well. My original feelings prove to be true quite often. It would have been unpleasant sharing a room even if I had a great roommate, but no. I have a terrible roommate. I won't list all the reasons why she's terrible. All I know is, this experience will never be repeated if I have any choice.
The way I feel in the dorm is akin to suffocation. I swear I can't...breathe. You guys must know what I'm talking about. The mere presence of another person can be a very disruptive thing, for me at least. When I think about myself in terms of my extreme introversion, I know that there needs to be a certain ratio of public to private life in order to retain my sanity. Here's the thing: I consider public to be any realm in which I share a presence with a person with whom I am not close or comfortable (i.e. a stranger). Under this definition, 100% of my life is in the public realm, besides my trips home (seldom). I cannot convey how much this bothers me. Suffocation. I can't think straight. Heck, sometimes I can't think at all. I can't hum to myself without her asking me to to stop. I can't sing my music. I can't dance crazily. I can't even be naked or go to sleep in the buff if I choose. It is driving me insane. I want my peace back, my solitude. I need to be alone so badly that I want to scream. When she leaves for any length of time, I can't describe the feeling that comes over me. Honestly being so unhappy with my living situation is sucking a lot of energy out of me. I don't feel that I'm exaggerating when I say that this is really taking a toll on me.
Also, I believe that it's having a negative effect on my social life. When I get all the solitude I need, I'm perfectly okay with being around other people a certain amount of time in the day. When I get all the solitude I need, it's easier for me to make acquaintances and friends. However, when I'm starved of my alone time, I tend to hide away in order to get any alone time that I can, so I spend as little time as possible in public, so there's less of a chance to see people and get to know them.
Living with family is a different story. I'll always be introverted, but at home, I can have all the alone time I crave while still having social interactions with people I love. I love living with people I love and care about, people in whom I am emotionally invested. Sharing an intimate space with a complete stranger (an incredibly rude one who has no interest in getting to know me, at that) has made me realize what I have at home.
ETA: Oh, and I've never lived completely alone before. It's likely that at some point in my life, I will. I don't think I'll relish it though. Sure, I need a good amount of solitude, but I also find a lot of joy in living with people (or a person) I love. So, living alone wouldn't be ideal for me.
I'm currently having an experience that is very relevant to this topic. It's my freshman year of college, and I'm living in a dorm, sharing a room with another girl. Now, before I left for school, I told myself "Oh, don't be so negative. Maybe it won't be so bad." Many times, I think like that, but I know myself, very well. My original feelings prove to be true quite often. It would have been unpleasant sharing a room even if I had a great roommate, but no. I have a terrible roommate. I won't list all the reasons why she's terrible. All I know is, this experience will never be repeated if I have any choice.
The way I feel in the dorm is akin to suffocation. I swear I can't...breathe. You guys must know what I'm talking about. The mere presence of another person can be a very disruptive thing, for me at least. When I think about myself in terms of my extreme introversion, I know that there needs to be a certain ratio of public to private life in order to retain my sanity. Here's the thing: I consider public to be any realm in which I share a presence with a person with whom I am not close or comfortable (i.e. a stranger). Under this definition, 100% of my life is in the public realm, besides my trips home (seldom). I cannot convey how much this bothers me. Suffocation. I can't think straight. Heck, sometimes I can't think at all. I can't hum to myself without her asking me to to stop. I can't sing my music. I can't dance crazily. I can't even be naked or go to sleep in the buff if I choose. It is driving me insane. I want my peace back, my solitude. I need to be alone so badly that I want to scream. When she leaves for any length of time, I can't describe the feeling that comes over me. Honestly being so unhappy with my living situation is sucking a lot of energy out of me. I don't feel that I'm exaggerating when I say that this is really taking a toll on me.
Also, I believe that it's having a negative effect on my social life. When I get all the solitude I need, I'm perfectly okay with being around other people a certain amount of time in the day. When I get all the solitude I need, it's easier for me to make acquaintances and friends. However, when I'm starved of my alone time, I tend to hide away in order to get any alone time that I can, so I spend as little time as possible in public, so there's less of a chance to see people and get to know them.
Living with family is a different story. I'll always be introverted, but at home, I can have all the alone time I crave while still having social interactions with people I love. I love living with people I love and care about, people in whom I am emotionally invested. Sharing an intimate space with a complete stranger (an incredibly rude one who has no interest in getting to know me, at that) has made me realize what I have at home.
ETA: Oh, and I've never lived completely alone before. It's likely that at some point in my life, I will. I don't think I'll relish it though. Sure, I need a good amount of solitude, but I also find a lot of joy in living with people (or a person) I love. So, living alone wouldn't be ideal for me.
Last edited: