SamE | INFJ Forum

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Jun 2, 2012 at 4:48 PM
May 16, 2010
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More threads by SamE
Aug 23, 1977 (Age: 44)
For goals

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Community Member, 44

SamE was last seen:
Jun 2, 2012
    1. Bird
    2. slant
    3. orangeappled
      Thank you for the well-wishes :)
    4. kita
      Thanks SamE :smile:
    5. Soulful
      Thank you! The same to you. :)
    6. Gaze
      Thank you. I hope your holiday was enjoyable and I wish you a great New Year! :D
    7. TinyBubbles
      thankyou for being so thoughtful :) happy new year to you too SamE, hope 2011 brings you what you've been wanting all your life
    8. Kgal
      Thank you for those excellent hopes SamE! May you have peace in the New Year!
    9. Solongo
      Thank you and same to you :)
    10. tovlo
      Hey! Nice to see you, whatever identity you have assumed. ;) I send you back happy wishes for your new year and that the one now passing was good to you!
    11. orangeappled
      Clarify this, I see the elitism pronounced in TJ modalities of thought more than NF. I certainly know that self confidence is a way however missing the most important aspect, self belief, through a proper alignment in self belief with personal identity and spirit do we become rather and develop healthy thinking and feeling patterns.
      I see an elitist aspect in INFPs, but mainly enneagram 4s (of which I am one). It's a tendency to identify with your tastes (ie. music, art, etc), and consider yourself superior to others because of it. Or to feel you're so unique that no one can understand you (although to a point, I maintain it is true for many INFP e4 types :P). True, it's quite different from TJs, and a lot more subtle. There's also the excessive humility side of the INFP that obscures this. Really confidence is not a yo-yoing between self-deprecation and elitism, but that's what an unhealthy INFP can look like. I think your personal identity broadens as you mature (and become healthier), so you don't have this restrictive image of yourself to live up to, and so your sense of self-value is less threatened & you can drop the shield of elitism.

      Feisty, arrogant, conceited, pretentious, insincere? Pick one, explore the dark side. :D
      Yes, in some ways, no, I don't think so, never! :P. I could be ornery, moody, stubborn, and argumentative (no wonder I tested INTP :P). I still can be, but not so much. Of course, the teen years are always the worst.

      Why would that bother you? Emotions and feelings are epicenter to being enlightened. For without them, thoughts nor feelings would manifest. Thoughts are created from feelings. Logical thoughts are emotional triggers, however much is denied, in essence. The heart knows more than the mind, how much stronger peoples resolve might be with a cooperative and cocreative heart and mind rather than an isolated mind to the heart that thinks living in a box is better than living in a field.
      Oh, I don't disagree. But I found emotions in other people overwhelming when younger, and my own embarrassing (as they reveal something of how you feel), and so I did dampen them down (maybe my e5 wing :D ). It was not anything I put thought into, but a knee jerk reaction. I'm finding this a lot more typical for INFPs than others might imagine. I would really avoid being affected emotionally by anything. As an adult, I find my feelings so much more refined when I allow emotion to have their fair part. It's the exact opposite picture of how some paint emotions, something that clouds thinking; they very much aid in figuring out feelings.
    12. orangeappled
      Then I would want to understand when do you feel you are mature or start thinking that we are no long in their what I call late blooming attitude and stage and start taking charge of our lives. Starting to be our own creator of our life paths rather than our limiter in our life paths as it were. Why would we get bogged down like this, what purpose is there to analysing and starting things much later than others.
      Well, I think I touched on that purpose of "starting things later" in the previous message (sorry...I'm long-winded!). Sometimes being a "late bloomer" means you've spent more time in the prep stages, making you better equipped to handle whatever it is you're aiming for. The amount of introspection and refining of ideals and values can mean that when we act on them, it's in a big, focused way.

      I don't know if the taking charge of life, not limiting ourselves, etc, is accomplished in such a linear manner. I think there are phases of this, and it can be up & down. At least, that's how my own life has felt. A few years ago at 24, I would have said I was there; now I feel like things have backslid, but it's also allowed me to readjust my priorities, so I may end up reaching a greater potential than I had previously imagined. I think maintaining flexibility is important in this way, because if our ideals get too rigid, then we do get stuck on them & stuck in life. When an INFP is using Ne well, they're more open to adapting to opportunities that show potential to meet their inner ideals, but if they have a too rigid ideal, then nothing will ever come along to satisfy it. So I'd say, be open to different "paths" than you may have imagined. Try & see the various ways something could develop into something you desire/need, even if it does not match the fantasy ideal in your head.
    13. orangeappled
      Hahha doing well hay hay, say OrangeAppled would you be happy to talk about your attitude to life?

      I mean you know how our preferences change according to life experience and such and that we become more mature as we experience more and such. How would you describe INFP maturity. I know I don't think of myself as mature per say. Although most would think otherwise, however I feel there is a lot of immaturity to get through on my part at least.
      While I would not call myself a prime example of INFP maturity, for myself, I am matured compared to my younger self. I saw the biggest changes between 18-22, which is probably normal for most people.

      For myself, maturing has been related to
      1) having more awareness of others, less absorbed in my own inner world of imagination & feeling, less focus on self-fulfillment & my identity, & realizing that fulfillment involves others; also seeing myself more kindly with this awareness, instead of holding myself to an impossible ideal
      2) developing more healthy self-confidence, as opposed to a bitter elitism
      3) developing my compassionate/empathetic side, which did not really develop until my late teens, and it continues to refine. I suppose I am becoming nicer & nicer by the day :P. When I was younger, I was definitely not the sweet INFP of some profiles... As this side has developed, I've found relationships a bit easier
      4.Taking as many opportunities as possible; it's broadened my perspective, lessened regret, made me more interesting and well-rounded on the whole...theory & imagination can only take you so far, some experience is necessary :P
      5) embracing being a Feeling type and who I am in general...less shame & a sense of defectiveness

      As for older INFPs in or nearing mid-life (I am only 27 after all), I notice a definite surge in confidence, a clearer direction in life, some peace made with the world & its flaws, further refined ideals & feelings & better at articulating these, and they have a better grip on their sensitivity & emotions. The cool thing is they still keep their unique interests & outlook, childlike whimsy, and tend to reach their potential when others are burning out. I look forward to this... :D
    14. Bird
    15. Stu
    16. Wyote
    17. Soulful
      Sorry it took me a few days to get back to you. I don't entirely remember how I selected my user name, but I've often had difficulty brainstorming user names I like and would continue to like... and then this came to mind and it was at a time when I was very much exploring/attentive to my spirituality, and this title meshed with that aspect of my identity. I'm drawn to the concept of a soul and the qualities a soul would have and that's really what appeals to me about it. I also like that it can be applied to music (music full of soul) but that wasn't the angle from which I selected it at the time.
      I hope that answers your question. :smile:
    18. Soulful
      Nice avatar. :)
    19. kita
      If I asked you the same question, what would you say?
    20. kita
      I've thought about it, but I'm still not sure how to answer.
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  • About

    Aug 23, 1977 (Age: 44)
    For goals
    To exist
    In descending order, which 6 things could you never do without?:
    Without six balls
    What would be your epitaph?:
    And forks
    I am also Synapse at typologycentral and was Talos when infpglobal was active.

    I live

    And play