Love | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Love

Honestly the very idea of love confuses me.

I have never really felt that strongly about someone romantically. And friendship and family type love seems natural everyday and normal... not like anything special. The two seem like completely different things to me. Love in the family/ friend way to me isn't like that tugging at your heart that I imagine romantic love to be. It's more natural and not as complicated... sorta... maybe? ... Idk like I said love confuses me.
 
Dragon said:
I used to think not, but I have decided to go along with the cultural definition to some extent with this discrimination (specifically, all x million love songs out there).

If you want to base it off altruism, isn't altruism reciprocal? Perhaps, that reciprocity is genetic. If it is, isn't that a condition? I do not think we can prove the existence of unconditional altruism.
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What is the cultural definition of love?

Altruism isn't reciprocal (unless when you're talking about altruism in the animal kingdom, then there are instances in which it is. But that's a tad off topic).

A symbiotic relationship is reciprocal.

Altruism is a selfless concern for other people--and done without seeking a benefit.
 
I agree with those who said that they dont associate love with fear. I dont find it terrifying at all. I rather enjoy it.

To me, love is the fact that I dont have to worry about getting hurt.
 
temples of love

and where lives the temples of love?
in the hearts of men?
in the souls of women?

nay,
oft not but users of love.
trust not their words,
their crooked mouths,
their bright and shining faces,
their quick hands,
for they wish to enter the temples
with their clothes and weapons
soaked in each others bloods.
attempt not to enter these naves
for their doors and towers will know,
will breathe your stench,
will see your stains.

approach these hallowed gates in
sacrifice,
not to any one,
but to the will of love,
to the abyss of love,
to the sweet tender machinations
of the angels and jinn of love.
leave thy garments in the rivers
to drift into the seas of distraction.
bathe and be cleansed in the transluscent
burning waters which flow
from filigree fountains standing like warriors
in the courtyard gardens of love.
and before entering these sacred walls
of the ivory fortress of love, take leave
to rest beneath the willows weeping the tears
of the unfortunate in love to know deeply
why you enter into love
freely,
passionately,
with heart,
with soul,
and without cause,
for only then will the titans guarding this sanctum
give you pardon to enter upon
the gentle pains of the paths of love.

but where then lives the temples of love?

in the quiet sigh of the babe
at her mother's breast,
in the hand of one on another's shoulder
when words of comfort
mean nothing,
in the tears of the living
at the monument moments of death,
and in the unseeing,
unknowing,
unbreathing,
undeniable
understanding touch
of lover's eyes.

----------

love

love cannot be grasped,
for there is no such thing as love.
love does not exist.

love is a void.

to be filled by the rhythms
of two hearts.
to be painted in the colours
of shared dreams
born of the sacred breaths
of a thousand whispered kisses.
 
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Quinlan said:
I don't associate love with fear or being hurt or courage.
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Perhaps but you also have to understand there are many people who are afraid of it.

It is something to be feared when you have had little of it and/or derive your inner-strength from something else. Example, hate, anger, wrath selfishness, envy, etc.

If that is the case then you see embracing love is not so much a walk in the park. As it is something that could and probably would conpromise your strength as a person.

Which then you would need a little courage.
 
merrytrees said:
Yeah, I know that. Maybe it's the vibezzz picked up that make ya fall in love with an oblivious stranger just for the expression they wear on their face.
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Or the way they plant and lift their feet or how their breathing sounds.
 
TK* said:
Yes, Satya.

Loving hurts. There's no way you can't NOT get hurt. You have to reveal the weakest parts of yourself and stand vulnerable in the face of your partner, hoping that he/she will accept you. It's painful at first, and extremely terrifying! I was just like you. Terrified of loving or being loved by someone else. Perhaps even more so than you, Satya because I was a coward. I didn't want ANYONE to hurt me again, even if that meant estranging myself. I was terrified of losing control.

Allowing someone to love you takes courage. Loving someone else takes strength.
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Yes. When you love somebody, you feel completely out of control. It's the only area in my life where I lack self control (in how I behave, think, and feel - it can be quite overwhelming and even a little frustrating as I like being in control of myself!). And it does take a lot of courage to let go and love somebody (and to a lesser extent, to let yourself be loved). It never made sense to me why they call it "falling" in love, but now I know - because as much as you try to stop, or control the "fall" into your feelings for the person - it's impossible. And, yes, many times you get hurt - but it takes far more courage to love than it does to shut yourself out because of fear. In the end, it's only you who loses out. You always gain something from loving, even if you do get hurt in the process.
 
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i think very optimistic about love, but i feel very pessimistic about love...

except for mom... and my brother...
 
darkstar said:
Agape is love only God can give.

Eros doesn't exist, at least for me.

Philos is conditional friendship.
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Doesn't Agape mean "tolerence?
 
SoDistant said:
Cupid is dead.

We have to be our own match maker.
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Taking actions into your own hands is part of it but on the other hand there is also chance.

Cupid represents an idea and it's only as dead or alive as you make it to be.

True romance and love exists, people do fall in love at first sight, long term friends do turn to lovers and marry.
 
merrytrees said:
BAM!
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1126emeril2-790460.jpg
 
mattysly said:
To be honest, I've avoided relationships and dating because of the whole pick up scene which usually doesnt allow me to shine but particularly the fear of being hurt so much because of loving so much. I guess I haven't truly experienced love because I put barriers up around me. But I do feel that I want to experience love in all of its all consuming beauty. I hope it happens soon :S.
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Feel the same.
 
mattysly said:
To be honest, I've avoided relationships and dating because of the whole pick up scene which usually doesnt allow me to shine but particularly the fear of being hurt so much because of loving so much. I guess I haven't truly experienced love because I put barriers up around me. But I do feel that I want to experience love in all of its all consuming beauty. I hope it happens soon :S.
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Me too :(
 
...wow this thread has been around a while..had to go back a few pages to find out why it was marked! lolz

Those of you who feel that love is elusive, and doesnt happen to everyone...to you all I want to say have some faith...I dont mean in cupid or god...in yourselves...We all have this little inner voice that leads us...One day you could be spilling your slurpie down your brand new white halter...the next love could be helping you clean it up. Love comes in so many forms, it is compassion, it is consideration, it is simply lending a helping hand. While it is not romantic love it is all around. Some love is unconditional, some love is fleeting, momentary. But most of all...its constant. Everywhere you look you can see it. Just watch not for couples, for little things. Dont give up on it!
 
I think I'm bad at love, honestly. I just am not very good at doing it. I'm really good at feeling it, but I'm not good at it.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
I think I'm bad at love, honestly. I just am not very good at doing it. I'm really good at feeling it, but I'm not good at it.
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you dont have to be good at it...and if your trying so hard and failing at it...well that thats not love...Love really is easy. Hate is hard...
 
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