Identifying someone’s Typology

[Somnium]

I’ve been trying to figure this person out, but considering how much I’m emotionally involved I wanted somebody else’s perspective.
I’ll try to be as descriptive as possible:

• He doesn’t have many friends. During his school days he used to be pretty sociable but adulthood made him more focused on professional achievements.
• He complains a lot but hardly ever is willing to talk about the problems he’s facing. Being one of the closest people to him, I find it suffocating to know he’s never up to talking about important issues, such as his problems.
• Maybe this won’t matter much, but he’s had a hard childhood, that’s why he left home at 17.
  
• When facing problems he’s prefers to deal with them by himself. No matter how hard his problems are, he never lets it show. On his exterior, he’s calm and stressed out but he tries to look cool in front of people.
  
• He’s an ambitious professional. He works tirelessly every single day, day and night, weekdays and weekends... it gets to an unhealthy point. He works with management and as an entrepreneur. I would say his job is one of the most important things in his life.
  
• He’s not in good terms with his family, actually he’s never been really close to them.
• He’s careful with details, to a perfectionist level.
  
• He’s not the a religious person (at least not anymore I’d say). While a kid, he used to live in the church as per say, but after he got away from his mom, he’s never been into any form of religion.
  
• He’s not good with people, as I mentioned before, he’s usually too focused on business matters and that’s not the only reason. Being close to him, I can say that he’s not empathic, on the contrary, he emphasizes his own needs over anybody else’s.
  
• He enjoys watching videos, playing deck cards, watching movies and shows on his free time.
• He doesn’t seem the artistic type to me, but I have to admit that he’s had some pretty innovative and creative ideas when facing challenges, daily challenges and professional ones.

Tell me your assumptions, please.
I really appreciate your willingness to help ​

 

[Wyote]

Sounds like possibly ENTJ, INTJ or ISTJ

 

[Ren]

INTJ or ENTJ, but more likely INTJ.

Sounds like possibly ENTJ, INTJ or ISTJ

I was wondering about ISTJ too, but then @Somnium describes him as a kind of individualist, so I dunno. That doesn't sound very ISTJ.

 

[Asa]

Patrick Bateman is believed to be an ESTP.

 

[David54]

I never try to type anyone. There is so much I dont know about what really goes on inside of them. .

 

[Ren]

Patrick Bateman is believed to be an ESTP.

Asa, this reminded me of something.

We had an exchange months ago about this, and at the time I believe you typed Bateman as ENTJ, while Pin and I typed him as ESTP.

Well, I saw American Psycho recently and now I'm thinking he's much more likely to be ENTJ.

This would be taking into account the fact he's very unhealthy. Anyway, tangent over ^^

 

[Asa]

Asa, this reminded me of something.

We had an exchange months ago about this, and at the time I believe you typed Bateman as ENTJ, while Pin and I typed him as ESTP.

Well, I saw American Psycho recently and now I'm thinking he's much more likely to be ENTJ.

This would be taking into account the fact he's very unhealthy. Anyway, tangent over ^^

I remember that! Hahahaha!

But here I was just cracking a joke about someone who is professional, detail-oriented, and obsessed with his job.

In the case of Somnium's friend, I'm guessing XSTX, perhaps more likely an Introvert, though. My personal experiences with ISTJs and ISTPs is that the TJs are much more detail-obsessed and strict about it and the TPs are a little more laid back. Does anyone have info to counter or support this?

 

[Ren]

I remember that! Hahahaha!

But here I was just cracking a joke about someone who is professional, detail-oriented, and obsessed with his job.

I know But somehow I felt I owed it to you to let you know I changed my mind.

In the case of Somnium's friend, I'm guessing XSTX, perhaps more likely an Introvert, though. My personal experiences with ISTJs and ISTPs is that the TJs are much more detail-obsessed and strict about it and the TPs are a little more laid back. Does anyone have info to counter or support this?

No, I think that's pretty much accurate.

But apart from the fact he's described as very detail-oriented, what makes you think the person is xSTx?

 

[Asa]

But apart from the fact he's described as very detail-oriented, what makes you think the person is xSTx?

The description.

 

[Ren]

The description.

No kidding.

Just to pursue this thought. I would eliminate ESTP because of this:

He’s not good with people, as I mentioned before, he’s usually too focused on business matters and that’s not the only reason.

And I'm tempted to eliminate ISTJ because of this:

He’s not in good terms with his family, actually he’s never been really close to them.

Being close to him, I can say that he’s not empathic, on the contrary, he emphasizes his own needs over anybody else’s.

I think it's clear that he's not ESTJ. I wonder about ISTP, hm.

 

[acd]

I never try to type anyone. There is so much I dont know about what really goes on inside of them. .

I agree. And then it can be limiting in getting to actually know them because you start injecting your own ideas of who they are based on a vague type description. But if someone tells me their type, then that is useful information because I know they agree or identify with it. I'm not a big fan of using these theories to type others and think it should be used for personal growth/insight.

So I would just see if the person in question is interested in taking an online test if it must be known.

 

[David54]

I agree. And then it can be limiting in getting to actually know them because you start injecting your own ideas of who they are based on a vague type description. But if someone tells me their type, then that is useful information because I know they agree or identify with it. I'm not a big fan of using these theories to type others and think it should be used for personal growth/insight.

So I would just see if the person in question is interested in taking an online test if it must be known.

my thoughts exactly

 

[John K]

I’ve been trying to figure this person out, but considering how much I’m emotionally involved I wanted somebody else’s perspective.
I’ll try to be as descriptive as possible:

• He doesn’t have many friends. During his school days he used to be pretty sociable but adulthood made him more focused on professional achievements.
• He complains a lot but hardly ever is willing to talk about the problems he’s facing. Being one of the closest people to him, I find it suffocating to know he’s never up to talking about important issues, such as his problems.
• Maybe this won’t matter much, but he’s had a hard childhood, that’s why he left home at 17.
  
• When facing problems he’s prefers to deal with them by himself. No matter how hard his problems are, he never lets it show. On his exterior, he’s calm and stressed out but he tries to look cool in front of people.
  
• He’s an ambitious professional. He works tirelessly every single day, day and night, weekdays and weekends... it gets to an unhealthy point. He works with management and as an entrepreneur. I would say his job is one of the most important things in his life.
  
• He’s not in good terms with his family, actually he’s never been really close to them.
• He’s careful with details, to a perfectionist level.
  
• He’s not the a religious person (at least not anymore I’d say). While a kid, he used to live in the church as per say, but after he got away from his mom, he’s never been into any form of religion.
  
• He’s not good with people, as I mentioned before, he’s usually too focused on business matters and that’s not the only reason. Being close to him, I can say that he’s not empathic, on the contrary, he emphasizes his own needs over anybody else’s.
  
• He enjoys watching videos, playing deck cards, watching movies and shows on his free time.
• He doesn’t seem the artistic type to me, but I have to admit that he’s had some pretty innovative and creative ideas when facing challenges, daily challenges and professional ones.

Tell me your assumptions, please.
I really appreciate your willingness to help ​

A few thoughts to play with ...

There are people who can't or won't look inside themselves to find wholeness - instead they project their inner tensions and emptinesses onto the objective world about them and use all that energy to make a big impact there. They are obsessively driven by it and risk identifying with their chosen profession because that's how they balance themselves - they have pushed themselves out onto the world and become identified with it. Often people who do this are very gifted and successful, and it becomes a trap for them that springs when they lose their job through redundancy, retirement, or because it no longer scratches the inner itch and it fails to deliver the completeness they unconsciously crave - they feel utterly betrayed then, as though they have lost part of themselves. It doesn't matter whether they are introverted or extraverted - the effect is the same, with the extraverted ones wanting be leaders of people, while the introverted ones are more obsessed with ideas and achievements, but these differences are secondary.

If no other path is presented to them, this acts as a whole of life script and there is almost always a crisis in the future for people like this - pretty early on in adulthood if the ambitions outstrip ability, but if they are competent then at around 40-45 years old, or at retirement. Life will conspire to throw them back on their inner world, and force them to confront the void inside that has driven them, and this can be a disaster for them, leaving them bitter, disillusioned or depressed. The luckier ones are the competent people who go through that crisis in middle age - it's harder to come to terms with early or late in life.

It doesn't have to be like that - what's needed is a second (and maybe even a third or more!!) life script that prevents us being possessed by this demon and being enslaved. There are many alternatives - family, a contrasting hobby, a spiritual path, art, a sport .... just as long as it's intense and as long as we don't externalise ourselves into these in the same way. It needs to be something that encourages us back inside ourselves. It probably won't be easy influencing your guy though - it almost certainly has to be something he discovers for himself.

 

[Somnium]

I find it important for someone to get to know themselves better, just as a life accomplishment. I get that this perpective must come from him and I also get that he's too externally involved with his problems that he won't ever prioritize this.

I never try to type anyone. There is so much I dont know about what really goes on inside of them. .

Honestly, I've never meant to be intrusive. I really don't like to expect things from others, that's seriously disappointing, but the thing is, he's not any other person in my life. Seeing him drowing silently just scares me too much...
Since he's never willing to even talk about his day, I think it'd be unrealistic to think he's ever open up...

A few thoughts to play with ...

It doesn't have to be like that - what's needed is a second (and maybe even a third or more!!) life script that prevents us being possessed by this demon and being enslaved. There are many alternatives - family, a contrasting hobby, a spiritual path, art, a sport .... just as long as it's intense and as long as we don't externalise ourselves into these in the same way. It needs to be something that encourages us back inside ourselves. It probably won't be easy influencing your guy though - it almost certainly has to be something he discovers for himself.

After a lifetime I can surely say it's not easy hahaha But I do care very much, that's why I wanted to talk to him, more... I mean, I've always been too much focused on helping him formally, with advice and moral support, It just consumes too much from me. Don't get me wrong, I find moral and emotional support to be a relief, however, trying to make him focus on other things as you've metioned, @John K, may really be that missing piece to balance his life right now.

 

[David54]

I find it important for someone to get to know themselves better, just as a life accomplishment. I get that this perpective must come from him and I also get that he's too externally involved with his problems that he won't ever prioritize this.

Agreed. . but so many people are not ready for the self discovery journal.. .Most folks think they are fine the way they are

 

[Horatio]

Don't bother. It doesn't matter. Just be friendly and treat people with respect. Cut out anyone else who doesn't reciprocate.

 

[Somnium]

He's definitely an ISTx...
Considering how difficult it is for us to identify ourselves, I think that knowing this is already a great thing haha
I'll accept that.

 

[Somnium]

Agreed. . but so many people are not ready for the self discovery journal.. .Most folks think they are fine the way they are

And here I go again, would it be too precipitate to say that I feel he's not? I've been feeling this forever, but he's never admited it. Things are different now that he's going through an all time low... he's more self conscious, but still, tries to hide it.

 

[David54]

And here I go again, would it be too precipitate to say that I feel he's not? I've been feeling this forever, but he's never admited it. Things are different now that he's going through an all time low... he's more self conscious, but still, tries to hide it.

I can only speak from my own life and perspective. . .I didn't really do any real work on myself until the last year. Oh, I knew I needed it, and thought at times I was, but I was lying to myself. It wasn't because I hit a rock bottom,but because I made the conscious decision to get my head out my ass and deal my real stuff. .

 

[Ren]

And here I go again, would it be too precipitate to say that I feel he's not? I've been feeling this forever, but he's never admited it. Things are different now that he's going through an all time low... he's more self conscious, but still, tries to hide it.

I don't think there's much you can do about that, unfortunately. It's for him to figure out his own path.