How parent-type influences who we are | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

How parent-type influences who we are

Shaz- said:
Kwistalline said:
Do you have a handicaped (or something) person in your family too?

I am unsure how to word this one. My sister has always been sensitive about it.

She is two years older than I am. She contracted bacterial meningitis as a newborn, which most likely was the cause. I (almost) wish I hadn't said anything, but she's one of the ones who married an interesting character, so the chances of her coming upon this page are slim (considering that she has no idea who I am anymore-long story).

She's always been considered a little "slow". I did better in school (not exceptional, you understand, just better than her). I was mentally sharper than her, quicker to speak, bold, etc. She looked up to me. And, as an older sister, I'm sure she felt a little humiliated by it (there are, in this world, insensitive persons who like to point out specific defects of personality or mental agility-without any regard for that persons' feelings and whether or not they are present. They're known as "relatives"). Also, as a younger sister, I learned to be sensitive to her diminished self esteem. She was too dependant on my opinion, which hurt us both, in the end.

So, I both do and do not relate to you.
 
Kwistalline said:
(there are, in this world, insensitive persons who like to point out specific defects of personality or mental agility-without any regard for that persons' feelings and whether or not they are present. They're known as "relatives").
ouch :|
You weren't in the easiest position :? ... In my case it is clearly a handicap so there was not comparison to be made, but a blurry situation like that one wouldn't be easy to handle for either of you I imagine...
 
Shaz- said:
Kwistalline said:
(there are, in this world, insensitive persons who like to point out specific defects of personality or mental agility-without any regard for that persons' feelings and whether or not they are present. They're known as "relatives").
ouch :|
You weren't in the easiest position :? ... In my case it is clearly a handicap so there was not comparison to be made, but a blurry situation like that one wouldn't be easy to handle for either of you I imagine...

I didn't realize how hard it had been on me until I got my hopes up for going to college alone! . . . and then got them crushed when I found out she was coming with me. I finally realized what it meant to be ashamed of myself.

I think the "J" is a developmental function for caretakers. "J", to some degree, needs to take care of something. Actively, aggressively.
 
I have NO CLUE what my "Mother" is, but my Dad seems pretty INTJ or maybe even INFJ to me. I would need to test him, as soon as I know how to do so. He doesn't exactly have much Time. Very busy. =/
But I do know I have a lot in Common with my Dad. So we are probably the same or at least a very similar Type. *nod*
 
I can't be 100% sure what either of my parents would test as now, since they're not alive, but I knew them well so this is more than an educated guess:

Mom: INFP
Dad: INTJ

Oh, come on, that's too perfect. I'm like half my dad and half my mom.

My half brother and sister on my mom's side, it's hard to say. My half sister tested XXFJ (definitely true she's FJ, at any rate), my brother is classic ENTP. The majority of my family are strong Ns. We rely on the outside, unrelated SJs in the family to keep us in line with traditions.
 
I'm not exactly sure of my Dad, but I'm fairly sure with Mom. And I'm an only child.

Mom: ESTP
Dad: ENxx. He was a brilliant educator and loved the idea of "childlike" fantasy, but he was both extremely judgmental (either right or wrong) and rather manipulative. So...I dunno. ENFJ or ENFP? He reminded me of Tolkien or C.S. Lewis (or the "tortured" genius).

My parents were incredibly dynamic and always doing something. Mom still teases me that I was the "quiet" one.
 
Mom: ESTJ
Dad:INTJ
Yonger bro: ENTP
Adopted bro: INFP

I think it was more of my environment than anything else. Father beat and abused us all, including my mother. Mother basically locked herself in her room all day so I never saw her, and when I did it was only for a short while. She eventually abandoned the family when I was 10. I had just my ENTP brother, an abusive father, and my toys.

I know it's awful, but I'm going to say it anyway. I think "hate" is a strong word, but I truly hate my father. He is the sole person responsible for most of my psychological/mental trauma. He screwed us all up.
 
Mom: ESTJ
Dad:INTJ
Yonger bro: ENTP
Adopted bro: INFP

I think it was more of my environment than anything else. Father beat and abused us all, including my mother. Mother basically locked herself in her room all day so I never saw her, and when I did it was only for a short while. She eventually abandoned the family when I was 10. I had just my ENTP brother, an abusive father, and my toys.

I know it's awful, but I'm going to say it anyway. I think "hate" is a strong word, but I truly hate my father. He is the sole person responsible for most of my psychological/mental trauma. He screwed us all up.


:( *Hugs* TK.

Hard.
 
Mom: ESFJ
Dad: INTJ
Younger Sister: ESFP (she may actually be an ENFP)

I've always clashed with my Mom, though it's gotten better with time. When I was younger, I looked up to my Dad a lot. I wanted to be just like him...or at least to be what he wanted me to be. Now I realize that I can't always live up to his (often high) standards. I love and respect both of my parents. I get along really well with my sister. I wouldn't trade her for anyone.