How much does it matter to you how you're seen or perceived? | INFJ Forum

How much does it matter to you how you're seen or perceived?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Nov 18, 2009.

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  1. Gaze

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    How much does it matter to you how you're seen or perceived?

    Why or why not?
     
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  2. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    Yes, it matters to me. But mostly in reguards to my inner circle. In the past I was highly conscious of how everyone saw me. Now, not really all that much. But I want those I care about to know me, and think highly of me. I want to be as important to those few, as they are to me.
     
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  3. yumiii

    yumiii Community Member

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    I don't really care about what other people think about me. I try not to care about them as much as I used to. Back then, when I did, I'd get so affected. All of them are just so draining. :mpff:

    Now, I only care about the people who are in my inner circle. They know me well enough, and for that I'm grateful. [In sub for this random emotional moment is this monkey>>> :m023:] :)
     
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  4. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

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    For the vast majority of people, no, it doesn't matter to me how they see me.

    When it comes to someone I'm trying to impress or gain their favor. Say, a woman, for example, yeah, it's going to matter to me. Generally, even if I meet their standards, I won't meet my own standards and in the past I've sabotaged relationships because of this.

    Really, I think it's all about being comfortable in your own skin and accepting yourself despite your short-comings and failures.
     
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  5. sassafras

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    I care about what my friends and family think about me. Very much so.

    But a person I meet on the street? Or a clerk at the grocery store? So what if they think I'm weird/arrogant/unfriendly/quiet/insert-judgment for two minutes of their lives?
     
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  6. Bored Now

    On Holiday

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    To echo everyone else, I only care if I care for you. And even then, I still only care a little. I guess I care only as much as I care for you. If I like you a little,I care a little. If I like you a lot, you get the idea.

    For the most part it amuses me when people get the wrong idea about me. I don't know why. I think its because I find it presumptuous, and presumptuous people seem to most convinced of their own intellectual prowess. Even in the face of evidence to the contrary. And there is nothing funnier than that.

    Mostly I think its funny because if you ask me a straightforward question about myself, you will get a candid, honest answer. No reason to make assumptions, I'll tell you what you want to know. Ain't no shame in my game and I'm a straight shooter.
     
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  7. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

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    I care (purely with family and friends) only if I am causing them trouble or I feel bad if they tell me something about myself that makes me feel insecure.
    Usually, even around people I love, I don't really mind how they see me. Obviously, I'd prefer it if they saw what I actually was (and in my family's case, they usually do), but I don't mind letting them think what they like.
    Friends and family shouldn't have to be worried about that around each other, at least from my perspective, but then it's difficult not to be self-conscious as that is what people are taught to be over the years, right?
     
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  8. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

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    ^ this
     
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  9. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    It matters a lot in regards to my family, but little when it comes it everyone else.
     
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  10. TrevOrTrevor

    TrevOrTrevor Community Member

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    With longtime friends and family, I don't really think about how they perceive me. They probably know me better than I know myself.
    If I have a disagreement with someone though, for a while I might wonder what they think of me.

    With newer friends, I'm usually quite self-conscious about how they perceive me at first. I don't want to put them off with any weird comments or humour that they don't get, so I mostly just tone it down a bit until I see what I'm looking for in them...whatever that is.

    With strangers I don't give a fudge. :m202:
     
  11. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    I care quite a bit about how everyone sees me. Close or not.
     
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  12. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    I care what my family thinks about me, friends to an extent. I like to give off a good impression if I'm trying to impress people, but otherwise I don't let it bug me too much.

    I think I'm generally perceived as a nice person so that's comforting. I do like to know if someone sees me in a bad tone so I can evaluate if there's something I'm doing that makes people uncomfortable but meh...they can hate me and it won't bother me for more then a few seconds.
     
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  13. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    My friends (both of them...j/k) tend to eventually see past perceptions to who I am and some deep bonds form. Yes, I am an idiot, but a kind, well-meaning one. Don't worry, this has brought me more than my fair share of suffering. :)

    However, aside from this I think perceptions do matter in a couple of cases: 1) professionally I try to deal with how people perceive me...it helps to move work and relationships in a good direction and 2) with strangers I may meet. I ride mass transit and try to help people perceive me in a friendly, non-threatening way. Sometimes that means engaging in conversation, sometimes not...I just try not to cross the line in any way.
     
  14. OP
    Gaze

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    Cool responses.
     
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  15. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    I dare to ask; Restraint, what are your opinions/feelings on the matter?
     
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    #15 bamf, Nov 18, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2009
  16. OP
    Gaze

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    Disclaimer: This is not an interesting response. ; )

    I can't say it doesn't matter. But it has mattered more than it should. My job, my life has always centered around how others think or perceive of what i do, which i thought was more important than anything else. I believed it was a direct reflection on who i was. This came about through academic, family, or professional expectations. So, i don't think i had the luxury of not caring. It's only recently that i've come to realize that what people think about me is not as important as what i think about myself. So i've learned (still learning) how to care enough about my professional and personal credibility without caring too much or as much about how i'm perceived. Work in progress.
     
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  17. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    same here. I care so much about what people think of me (weather I know them or not) that it holds me back from being the real me or doing something insain. I have always tried to be what they wanted me to be but I never realized until quiet resently. For me it is also a work in progress. It is easy to care completely or don't care at all, but it is hard to care a lot for myself and a little for them, I need to learn how to balance!
     
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  18. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    Insightful
     
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  19. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    Good distinction.....professional credibility (which can be a perception) is one thing, but beyond that other perceptions may not matter much. I tend to create my own wake regardless of what people may think, but I am respected for that work-wise as a form of leadership and as a type of professional diversity. So it works professionally, but not in other ways that may be more related to office drama.
     
  20. Solongo

    Solongo Well-known member

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    When it comes to accomplishments, achievements and competitive edge I care about what people see and think about me.:m158:

    On a personal level, I only care about my mom and boyfriend's opinion.:m182:
     
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