Guilty about being single
- Thread starter Gaze
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That reminds me of something funny I did a couple years ago at work. I sent an email to my co-workers describing someone I fell in love with. I went over all her qualities.
Then I posted a picture of me hugging the Cisco Catalyst 6500 core switch I was talking about.
Then I posted a picture of me hugging the Cisco Catalyst 6500 core switch I was talking about.
Its a giant leap from typing on a computer to another person to being birthed, loved, raised by a machine.
- Mar 17, 2010
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Hey my 2.6ghz quad with 4GB DDR3 RAM and ATI Radeon 5870 may not be my birth parent but I'm sure it loves me like a son.
That is just one more expectation I have always had a difficult time understanding. Most of society seems deeply threatened by an adult who does not have a husband/wife, kids, and a career. It's really draining.. and absolutely silly.....
But it is true that even if you are logically aware of this, you can still Feel badly about sticking out. What helps me is remembering inspirational people in my life who haven't conformed to society's standards but have earned respect by being an individual.
But it is true that even if you are logically aware of this, you can still Feel badly about sticking out. What helps me is remembering inspirational people in my life who haven't conformed to society's standards but have earned respect by being an individual.
This topic is frustrating.
My family has wondered about my relationship status and mentioned that I'm doing something wrong, or that something is wrong with me. For example, my mom told me that I am just not out there enough in order to meet people. Then I replied that I have been 'out there,' met people, and did not like any of them romantically!
My family has wondered about my relationship status and mentioned that I'm doing something wrong, or that something is wrong with me. For example, my mom told me that I am just not out there enough in order to meet people. Then I replied that I have been 'out there,' met people, and did not like any of them romantically!
I find that I am unswayed by what society thinks. If it is not important, it is not important. I didn't learn to drive until I was 35 because I didn't feel the need to learn. I could care less about being a mother or wife--not that I don't think those are worthy but just that I am not particularly inclined to be those things. At 41, it doesn't faze me to be single.
I think that I have personally 'let go' of these pressures in my life. I have realized that having a family and children, marrying, and serious relationships is not something I am really going to be doing much of in my life, and have allowed everyone to know this. I inform everyone that I don't plan to have kids, I don't consider marriage valid, and that I do not date.
People seem to be unsatisfied with this answer but I let them have their own problem to mull over. If I want to live my life a certain way, then that's the way I am going to live it. I have no problem with the rejections or the people who think of it oddly.
People seem to be unsatisfied with this answer but I let them have their own problem to mull over. If I want to live my life a certain way, then that's the way I am going to live it. I have no problem with the rejections or the people who think of it oddly.
As one having been guilty of this - please don't turn other people's rejection of your lifestyle around and reject their lifestyles. You'll just end up ...well... like me.
denounced? Makes it sound like they all came out saying how horrible it was to be in a relationship. Or was that your point exactly =\?
I see nothing appealing about having a family. I function badly in groups, I like to have my own time and don't conform to compromise. I dislike children, I dislike the idea of pregnancy and child birth, I dislike the idea of raising children. It's not something I'm suited for. I don't invest myself into something that has no purpose for me. I have no wish for a legacy or someone to take care of me in my old age. In fact, I find such a request to be the pinnacle of parental selfishness.
There's a whole ethical dilemma regarding the competence of future parents for me. I think people in general very much so underestimate the size of this responsibility. I can say for myself that I am not ready or willing to bare the responsibility of bringing a new sentient consciousness into the world.
In my experience it seems that most relationships and marriages in particular today are used as security blankets. People are affiliative creatures that seek security in numbers, and what better way to always have someone to fall back to for your needs, than the other person in a relationship.
It also has to do with status; after all people in a relationship, or with a lot of relationship experience are considered to be desirable, and those that are single must be the opposite, which is what I infer from observing people around me.
I never felt like I needed the intimacy of a relationship, and I shunned it for the longest time. I don't see why someone's life must culminate in a fruitful marriage. For me at least, there's a vast amount of more preferable endings. If I'm going to do it, I'll do it on my own terms without paying attention to people with obviously different priorities than mine.
So yeah, who ever thinks they can even try to guilt me about things that are none of their business, will get a nice FUCK OFF from me.
There's a whole ethical dilemma regarding the competence of future parents for me. I think people in general very much so underestimate the size of this responsibility. I can say for myself that I am not ready or willing to bare the responsibility of bringing a new sentient consciousness into the world.
In my experience it seems that most relationships and marriages in particular today are used as security blankets. People are affiliative creatures that seek security in numbers, and what better way to always have someone to fall back to for your needs, than the other person in a relationship.
It also has to do with status; after all people in a relationship, or with a lot of relationship experience are considered to be desirable, and those that are single must be the opposite, which is what I infer from observing people around me.
I never felt like I needed the intimacy of a relationship, and I shunned it for the longest time. I don't see why someone's life must culminate in a fruitful marriage. For me at least, there's a vast amount of more preferable endings. If I'm going to do it, I'll do it on my own terms without paying attention to people with obviously different priorities than mine.
So yeah, who ever thinks they can even try to guilt me about things that are none of their business, will get a nice FUCK OFF from me.
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Well, that was my point, but there are a few peoples who seem to be all happy or something >.>
Satre once wrote: 'hell is other people'
Sometimes when i am weary i can relate to that statement! People can be pretty damn annoying sometimes!
Many people are living in fear. They are fearful of not conforming. They police themselves and they can't understand why some others aren't as frightened as they are, so they end up policing them as well by putting pressure on them.
Don't let them push their fear onto you. It's your life, you live it how you want (as long as you aren't hurting others).
Of course we all have to conform to certain degrees to get by in life but to what extent we want to free ourselves from these pressures is upto us.
Lookin around it seems to me that those that had the best breakthroughs, discoveries and adventures were those that didn't conform.
If your mind is strong enough to break out of the chains it is strong enough to banish the guilt as well.
Sometimes when i am weary i can relate to that statement! People can be pretty damn annoying sometimes!
Many people are living in fear. They are fearful of not conforming. They police themselves and they can't understand why some others aren't as frightened as they are, so they end up policing them as well by putting pressure on them.
Don't let them push their fear onto you. It's your life, you live it how you want (as long as you aren't hurting others).
Of course we all have to conform to certain degrees to get by in life but to what extent we want to free ourselves from these pressures is upto us.
Lookin around it seems to me that those that had the best breakthroughs, discoveries and adventures were those that didn't conform.
If your mind is strong enough to break out of the chains it is strong enough to banish the guilt as well.
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