Friends With The Opposite Sex | INFJ Forum

Friends With The Opposite Sex

Faye

^_^
Retired Staff
Mar 9, 2009
7,348
5,450
892
Gridania
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
The majority of my friends are female, and I find women more easy to talk to and be around than men. I've also met some females who are the opposite; most of their friends are male and they find men easier to talk to and be around.

Does anyone else feel this way, or are most of your friends of the same gender as you?

Why do people feel/act this way?
 
Yeah, I feel this way. And it's because I don't feel female I am most definetely male in my head.

Many have said so.
 
most of my friends are female for the same reasons Dragon mentioned
 
I have friends of all sexes, but for the most part, my friends aren't strong representations of either gender.

In other words, I'm friends with gay guys and tomboys and smart people, etc. My friends are people that relate to other people, and they don't feel any need to be strongly like any gender stereotype. That's what I like -- be it boy or girl, I want to be friends with someone who is just themself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dneecey
It's about 50/50 with me. But I do have the feeling that the best friends I ever had were all males. I really don't know why that is, but it seems easier for me talk to them, like you said.
 
Last edited:
I don't have any female friends and I never have. It's been guys all the way. But since I've introduced myself to this whole MBTI/INFJ business, I can see why my "friendships" with a lot of males were so frustrating and I know now what I was missing before. But since then, I haven't really had the opportunity to make any friendships with the opposite sex. I look forward to making quite a few female friends when I go to uni. Well, I hope I will!
 
All of my closest friends are female. I have a resounding 2 male friends (the reason I am friends with them is because they pushed to become friends with me, I put in only a little effort on my end). Ever since I was little (I'm talking like 3 years old) I befriended girls before I would befriend guys.
 
The majority of my friends are female, and I find women more easy to talk to and be around than men. I've also met some females who are the opposite; most of their friends are male and they find men easier to talk to and be around.

Does anyone else feel this way, or are most of your friends of the same gender as you?

Why do people feel/act this way?
lol my male INFJ friend is like this too. practically all his friends are girls. He only has one of two close guy friends. If you visit our spot at luch it's just him sitting in the center of an imense group of us. lamo the janitor used to randomly tease him about it.
See, I'm not like this, not because I don't get along good with guys buy because I'm just hyper aware of gender. When ever I'm around guys it's like I'm programmed to act ever so slightly more feminine; I used to have guys friends and and be rather tom boysih but when I reached a certain age, I got parnoid that I wasn't girly and attractive enough and no one would ever love me! xO Wahh lol. But yeah Whenever I'm around guys I don't see potential friendship, I see a potential relationship. That's why I stick to girls, stick to what I know. I feel alot more safer and comfortable knowing there's absolutely zero sexual attraction involved, aside from a few rare cases. :p
 
I don't make friends easily with females my age. Usually older women. I find them more easy to talk to and we usually click right away. I've found some guys to also be very open, easy to talk to and less judgmental. But girls my age, not really. I've never felt like I fit in with them. It's either I'm too quiet or one of them doesn't like me for some reason, or I feel uncomfortable around them for some reason or there's just too much drama and gossip going on that I don't want to be involved with.
 
I'm friends with mostly just guys. The girls I become friends with, I usually end up developing feelings for or them for me. It's really just messy when I'm friends with girls. I have two friends that are female and they're the only ones that have ever been able to keep it strictly platonic.
 
The majority of my friends are female, and I find women more easy to talk to and be around than men. I've also met some females who are the opposite; most of their friends are male and they find men easier to talk to and be around.

Does anyone else feel this way, or are most of your friends of the same gender as you?

Why do people feel/act this way?


I absolutely feel this way... and have my whole life.
I blame the absence of an engaging father figure
and my inherent passionate, romantic ideals which in my experience,
more women are inclined to than men.
 
I feel alot more safer and comfortable knowing there's absolutely zero sexual attraction involved, aside from a few rare cases. :p

Please elaborate!

I too, end up getting feelings for girls if I'm their friend. And yes it does feel safer to be around guys. There is always that element of sex when I'm around girls even if I'm just a friend. But I think I can connect emotionally more with women. But it's good to have a guy friends who you can be crude with, heh heh.
 
I too, end up getting feelings for girls if I'm their friend. And yes it does feel safer to be around guys.

This is too true! I've gotten myself in trouble a few times because of this.
Honestly, I used to think if it would be easier if I were gay. har.
 
This is too true! I've gotten myself in trouble a few times because of this.
Honestly, I used to think if it would be easier if I were gay. har.

I have actually thought about that a few times! A few too many times...
 
I don't have any female friends and I never have. It's been guys all the way. But since I've introduced myself to this whole MBTI/INFJ business, I can see why my "friendships" with a lot of males were so frustrating and I know now what I was missing before. But since then, I haven't really had the opportunity to make any friendships with the opposite sex. I look forward to making quite a few female friends when I go to uni. Well, I hope I will!
Omg, yeah you shoud totally become friends with a lot of girls because 1) there's a good chance a few of them will develope crushes on you and 2) girls are soo easy to talk to. They want guys in lives and will be happy to see a guy interested in being their friend. Seriously girls really value male freindship.
Sometimes I try and befriend guys but it's like they're to wary of me trying to talk to them like an equal, probably due to all that male superiority bullshit. Girls you won't have that problem as much I don't think. They'll be more willing to accept your friendship.
EDIT: that's only some guys of course.
 
Last edited:
Omg, yeah you shoud totally become friends with a lot of girls because 1) there's a good chance a few of them will develope crushes on you and 2) girls are soo easy to talk to. They want guys in lives and will be happy to see a guy interested in being their friend. Seriously girls really value male freindship.

Well that's reassuring! I avoided girls when I was younger up until my mid-teens because I had four sisters and they treated me like shit so I guess I really had a resentment towards them, which is kind of ironic now.
 
Arithmetically speaking, I have more guy friends than I have girlfriends. I get along much better with men for some reason, at least at a close but comfortable distance. But I have more close girlfriends than guyfriends (three to two). Mostly because any guys I let in too close develop feelings for me, or vice versa, and we either end up dating or we drift apart.

OR.... we otherwise psychogically scar one another for life. Hmm?

I don't worry too much about this balance though. Friends tend to come and go; its the ones that stick around that count.
 
I have only a handful of female friend who I genuinely value and wouldn't want to cross any lines with. Other than that very small group I have no real female friends. Every time I try to have one who is literally just a friend, someone gets attached and it turns into a relationship or something. So I just don't keep female friends, but i will keep friendly with lots of female acquaintances if i don't have to see them often. Most of my friends are intelligent and intuitive guys that I know. I tend to hang out with a large and varied group but the core group I talk to is mostly a cadre of NF or NT males.
 
hmm I've never had a friendship with a male or female turn into a relationship, or someone develop feelings for me and try to turn it into a relationship.

So maybe that's why I really see no problem with being friends with males...?