Empathy | INFJ Forum

Empathy

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by dneecey, Feb 11, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 5 users.
More threads by dneecey
  1. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2009
    Threads:
    132
    Messages:
    3,528
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    868
    Trophy Points:
    593
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    I decided to write a blog about this, but I also want to open this up for a better discussion if possible.

    Are you an empathetic person, and if so, how deep does your empathy run?

    Have you ever become so involved with another that your emotions and theirs may have become blurry?

    ^^Has this ever happened to you with a stranger or someone you weren't close to?


    Is this one of the reasons why you don't like to be around a lot of people for an extended period of time?

    Can you explain the difference between your feelings and theirs?

    (thoughts.... please)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    216
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    yes,i am empathic person. I get involved with my real life friends.

    Yes, i don't like to be surrounded by many people. I think, it becomes very difficult for me. I am satisfied with limited people. It is just for one thing, i know one thing, i can't have everybody and if there are many people around me, i become careless with everyone.
     
  3. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    4,826
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,245
    Trophy Points:
    381
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    ....
    I have always been overly empathetic, as a defense mechanism i learned how to project a specific attitude to keep people from getting too close. I lose myself in peoples feelings all the time, moreso if i love them. I wonder how much of this made me a loner, because I have always been a loner as well.

    I cant even watch people cry especially women or children, it makes me want to cry SOMETIMES I WILL!

    Then im like, i gotta get the hell outta here!
     
  4. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    216
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    hey billy same like you, i think if i love my friends i will lose them after some time. But i try to avoid myself to be a loner and keep myself busy. Try to be in touch with my friends. Loneliness is part of life, it is permanent, just temporary thing.
     
  5. BlinkandThink

    BlinkandThink Community Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Threads:
    17
    Messages:
    699
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    FREE
    Enneagram:
    7w6
    I don't know, really. I think I'm average, but I'd need some sort of objective criteria to go on.

    In some cases, I feel other people's feelings like they're my own. In others I'm indifferent. Sometimes I would care if I understood, but I don't because I'm oblivious.

    So maybe I'm below average for a woman, but average for a man? *shrug*
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #5 BlinkandThink, Feb 11, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2010
  6. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2009
    Threads:
    14
    Messages:
    910
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    ?
    I don't think I have this. I am very shut off. BUT ... I have noticed over the years, once in a blue moon , I will cross paths with a stranger and grow concerned for them. I'm not sure what it is about. I've also find myself just staring at random strangers. Not often, very occasional. Recent experiences have shown they have some kind of trauma inside. I don't always approach them if I can help it. They turn a bit hostile. There has only been one that I could help.
     
  7. Tamagochi

    Tamagochi Sushi Destroyer
    Donor

    Joined:
    May 18, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    918
    Likes Received:
    354
    Trophy Points:
    622
    Location:
    Lithuania
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Got plenty of it - high even for girl standards and I'm a guy. I can usually sense if something is bothering the other person and become easily infected by their emotions. That includes crying sometimes ^_^

    If I'm in a close relationship I know better what the other person is feeling than my own. Sometimes it bothers me. And yes, I do not like being around large groups of people because they can overload me.
     
  8. SpaceCowgirl

    SpaceCowgirl vanilla cat

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2010
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Yes I often feel when someone is upset, and i often confuse their emotions with my own.
    I find the less i know someone, the less i understand their emotions, and the more i feel them. When a close friend confides in me i understand them well enough to differentiate our feeling, which makes it easier to help them.
     
  9. Fake Plastic Alice

    Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2010
    Threads:
    10
    Messages:
    217
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    WatShaiSays
    I am very much the same way! i completely absorb other people's feelings to the point that i need to get away and remember what my feelings are, and re-energize. I've also put up walls to the point that people see me as a cold person..when they see me cry they don't believe it.

    And yes Neece...i totally withdraw because of it, though it's not the only reason it is one of the reasons. Especially my close friends or if i'm with someone... then i completely lose myself in their emotions.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  10. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    464
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I always would answer this question with "no I'm not empathic enough, I don't do enough for other people". But it is not true. I'm to empathic. I'm too admissible to other peoples feelings. And my reaction to that is avoidance. I feel terrible, I don't want to feel there emotions, especially not from dear ones. So I try to avoid them, avoid taking about there problems because I don't want to feel it! so sad :shocked:

    this is great! I should focus more on feeling the difference between my and there emotions. Till now I always thought it where my emotions...
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #10 Morgain, Feb 11, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2010
  11. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
    Donor

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Threads:
    33
    Messages:
    2,142
    Likes Received:
    460
    Trophy Points:
    215
    MBTI:
    Hey Ho
    Enneagram:
    flibble
    Yes, I do absorb people's feelings, to the extent that I sometimes feel that I'm liquid, rather than a solid entity in my own right. Every emotion around me sends ripples through me - my face does gymnastics as I pick up on different moods around me. I do need time alone, to find my centre, and dispell the cloud of other people's innermost feelings - that leap out at me during the day, and cling to me like ivy, with tendrils that sap my energy. When I am alone - almost as soon as I reach my sanctuary, it's like I shed an entire skin and come back into myself, and breathe again.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    SpaceCowgirl likes this.
  12. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Threads:
    77
    Messages:
    1,112
    Likes Received:
    109
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    how deep? I don't really know

    I don't even understand my own feelings... however, I DID notice that when I'm in the house for a long time.. just me.. I AM A HAPPY PERSON.... then I'd go back to school where a lot of people's attitudes and emotions are overwhelming.. I get trained, stressed, confused,,, and I don't know what I feel

    and... I really cry when someone cries
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Morgain likes this.
  13. Matariki

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Threads:
    106
    Messages:
    3,491
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    498
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    N/A
    Enneagram:
    N/A
    I'm around the same as this. If I see sad people then that makes me sad, If I see happy people then that makes me happy.
    As far as understanding goes I lack there because of my autism, it frustrates me, Its a struggle for me to sympathize with others.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #13 Matariki, Feb 12, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2010
  14. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2008
    Threads:
    160
    Messages:
    4,066
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    316
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ISFP
    Just wondering how you're defining empathy? because I get confused between empathy, sympathy, compassion and kindness etc.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2008
    Threads:
    249
    Messages:
    5,014
    Likes Received:
    713
    Trophy Points:
    245
    MBTI:
    ^^ good question.
     
  16. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2010
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    791
    Likes Received:
    146
    Trophy Points:
    43
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    5 sx
    ive always thought of empathy as the ability to put yourself in someone elses shoes. if this is the case i find i have less and less empathy as of lately for friends or anyone outside my family and manually take control and keep distant connections at bay because i don't feel as i have adequate time to address their needs. and i've always avoided group situations because its hard for me to get to know anyone in a group unless i could rope em off to the side or something lol. unless there is some sort of goal the group is trying to accomplish, it always feels like theyre just talking about boring everyday stuff like who said what and who wore this and such.
     
  17. Slayerwolf

    Slayerwolf Newbie

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2009
    Threads:
    2
    Messages:
    38
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    8
    I can turn it off most of the time. I have to stay out of loud crowded places they are the worst. The older I get the better I can shut it out. I still have to sleep with high quality ear plugs and listen to the hum of a loud fan to drown out other noises. I have to sleep with a nightguard in my mouth or I'll grind my teeth.

    I have strange dreams and deja vu occasionally. I'm very picky with the company I keep. I feel for certain things in people, sincerity, love , trustworthiness, generosity , honesty, ect.

    As the write up on many INFJ sites say about empathy, it is a 2-edge sword. It has its ups and downs, I hate to be around hurting or the sick. I like quiet places to be around people, Coffee Shops, Book Stores, Movie Theaters, places where people usually whisper or talk low. Usually people in these type places have calm subtle feelings and I can shut them out easy, location is important regarding empathy.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  18. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2008
    Threads:
    66
    Messages:
    1,768
    Likes Received:
    321
    Trophy Points:
    627
    MBTI:
    Questioning?
    Enneagram:
    5w6
    I am not empathetic in the typical INFJ sense of the word. I understand how people feel about a situation but for me to truly understand a situation to the maximum capability, I envision myself in that situation and see what feelings I could get from that. Also, most likely because I keep people away from me, I don't seem to get so involved in the feelings of other people that I hurt FOR them. At least, not to the extent that most others on this site do.
     
  19. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,754
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Sounds familiar

    I can relate to almost everything said in bold.

    I'M HOME! :m023:

    j/k

    Although I relate somewhat, I don't want to label it empathy, although what I describe sounds like it. But I can definitely relate to quite a bit of what has been written here.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  20. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    894
    Likes Received:
    126
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJr
    A really good question. This used to happen to me a lot when I was younger. In middle and high-school I would empathize with people to the point where I not only took on their burdens, they started to have an effect on my mental health. I don't want to get into details as it is embarrassing.

    In grad school I was doing so much volunteer work, and had taken on so many of the burdens of a church with a day program for underprivileged youth, that I started to get taken advantage of by the pastor. I think he was a good guy, but I think he had a shady past, and it started to catch up with him. Anyway, that's a long story. One time I ended up in a very scary situation where I walked in on a meeting with him and two loan sharks from Philadelphia. It was very scary and perverse, as the sharks were very polite, but very dangerous. I think that's when I started to feel gullible and lost some of my empathic skills.

    I'd actually like to learn to re-engage my empathy to be more open, as my Ti has a tendency to say and do the wrong things so often, now.

    E
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #20 Ecton, Apr 9, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010
Loading...

Share This Page