Do you get upset easily? | INFJ Forum

Do you get upset easily?

Gaze

Donor
Sep 5, 2009
28,265
44,748
1,906
MBTI
INFPishy
I have a little temper sometimes meaning I get easily annoyed or irritated and even upset with people if someone doesn't get the point I'm trying to get across right away. This means I snap at them a little or show impatience. I'm not proud of this. But I don't yell, or curse, etc. Sometimes, I raise my voice when I think someone isn't listening.

Do you get upset easily? What makes you get upset or snap?

How do you manage or control it?

 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: TigersGoRAWR
I used to get upset easily but now... no. It's almost as if I have run out of tears o_O
I havent cried in a long time now :S
I feel like Im gonna snap when my family get's on my nerves, and that's a lot lately, but I keep it in control ^^
Getting angry won't solve anything, so ;P

I become mindful when I feel the anger-emotion rise. I seek the reason why these emotions have flared up and I cool down.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
Comes and goes in waves. Then I remember how good I am at feeling numb. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
Do you get upset easily? What makes you get upset or snap?

How do you manage or control it?


I'm a pretty laid back person and, if I'm not already stressed to begin with, I tend to have a very long fuse. Mostly because I try not to take anything personally and I give most people the benefit of a doubt. I know from my own experience that I get irritated with people who assume things about my motivations without investigating or getting their facts straight (I loathe the 'you did this to hurt/annoy me on purpose' argument), so I try not to do the same to other people.

It really takes a lot to get me angry--but when I do, I really do. There are only a handful of people in my life who have ever heard me raise my voice or swear or get upset in general and I've been told it's pretty frightening to see me mad. I don't fly off the handle so much as I vouch to tell the truth in the harshest way possible.

The things that set me off are usually unfair behavior, cruelty, and passive-aggressiveness/manipulative behaviour. I can usually stand passive-aggressiveness and manipulative behaviour up to a point; if its directed towards me and I see it, I ignore it. But if its directed towards someone else and its clearly upsetting them and the person doing it has malicious intentions, I get pretty pissed.

And as stated, assumptions about my person or my family and friends tend to be a trigger for me. I'm usually able to recognize it for what it is--a projection of the other individual's unfounded fears, envies, or discomfort rather than anything that I have actually done wrong-- and laugh about it, but if the person is especially needling in their insinuations, I have to remove myself from their vicinity. There is no reasoning with people who have made up their minds about something that doesn't exist and I know that if I engage them aggressively, I'm only giving them the reaction they were looking for. This usually leads to circular argumentation and people bringing up petty, useless crap just so they can say their piece. That kind of selfishness does not mesh with my system at all, especially if I see it being detrimental to the group or project as a whole.

I think the cornerstone for me managing my anger has to do with the fact that I don't like to get angry. I have issues with emotional control--for myself, not others-- and I despise the feeling of letting something so irrational steer my words or actions. Even worse, I dislike the prospect of letting anyone get under my skin so much that they throw off my equilibrium.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: grt$5vb and Gaze
I dont get upset really... it takes something to pick on a known trigger of mine, like seeing someone abuse someone weaker, like a child. Other then that I dont really react emotionally, that however does not mean I dont know when I am being screwed with, and I always give it back in an even measure.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
If I sense that someone is trying to be a verbal bully, to me or another, my anger can arise. I usually try to bite my to tongue, but sometimes I miss....
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
I have a little temper sometimes meaning I get easily annoyed or irritated and even upset with people if someone doesn't get the point I'm trying to get across right away. This means I snap at them a little or show impatience. I'm not proud of this. But I don't yell, or curse, etc. Sometimes, I raise my voice when I think someone isn't listening.

Do you get upset easily? What makes you get upset or snap?

How do you manage or control it?


What the fuck do you mean do I get upset easy!? what the hell are you insinuating with that question!?



Alright J/k ;)

No in all actuality I would say for me it depends on the situation, I don't get angry easily but I'll get frustrated or sensitive at times fairly easily. I do tend to get angry when I feel left out of something which I think goes back to my elementary days. I was in this weird experimental "gifted" program that pairs 1st and 2nd grade, 3rd and 4th, and 5th and 6th respectively. It would always make me so angry when the older kids got to go on field trips and things and the younger group didn't. As such I always had better years when I was in the older class, and most my friends were younger.

As far as how I manage or control that, it's difficult for me. Especially things regarding envy or where I feel left out or rejected. It's something I'm still trying to cope with, most of the time I've dealt with it in unhealthy ways. Such as buying my way into or out of situations.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
Do you get upset easily? What makes you get upset or snap?

How do you manage or control it?


Emotionally Not really. It takes a lot to push my buttons and make me upset and angry. I can usually avoid letting the other person be aware of how I feel. However, cross that line with me and I will never forgive you.

Intellectually Yes All the time. I hate seeing people act what I consider to be stupid. It is my own personal bias. I try and not let it show but doubt I do a good job of it. Inefficiency makes my teeth clench.

Spiritually Rarely I consider the choices each individual makes to be sacred to them and whatever higher power they choose to follow. I do not care one way or another how other people choose to believe.

Physically Sometimes and very easily. I despise being lost and can get quite upset when I am lost--I've made my sister cry because I can get so testy about being lost. I dislike being grabbed or touched by people I don't know or like. I dislike people invading my personal space. Hell, I even hate to be tailgated. I am very conscious of my personal space and touchy about it--I will literally wake up from a dead sleep if someone I don't know gets within like 4 steps from me--freaked out my roommates from college because I would just sit up if they got close to me (they were the ones who figured out the 4 steps part)

Strategy: I usually go for avoidance and awareness. I tend to shy away from situations that will cause me to be upset. I allow myself to feel what I want about myself and am trying to learn to not be so harsh about certain things. Love that perfectionism streak! Like all things, it just seems less and less important in the grand scheme of things as I get older.
 
I have a little temper sometimes meaning I get easily annoyed or irritated and even upset with people if someone doesn't get the point I'm trying to get across right away. This means I snap at them a little or show impatience. I'm not proud of this. But I don't yell, or curse, etc. Sometimes, I raise my voice when I think someone isn't listening.

Do you get upset easily? What makes you get upset or snap?

How do you manage or control it?

Three things make me mad:
1. Dishonesty - especially when people underhandedly shirk their responsibilities. (If someone needs a break, they should say so).
2. Bad manners (context counts - people being casual in casual situations is fine with me).
3. Injustices - especially personal attacks on people.

How do I deal with my anger?:
If there is something I can do about what bugs me, I will. If not, I try to let go and forget about it. I will let on my displeasure - but I very rarely snap.

The most convoluted part of it at times is searching if there is anything I can do about it. It's all good and well if a subordinate crosses a line; but when it's someone who doesn't answer to me, it sometimes involves complex tactics.

I guess the short answer is:
If my anger can be used as motivation to get stuff done, I'll use it; if not, I'll ignore it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: grt$5vb and Gaze
It takes a lot for me to get upset, and my boundaries about it moved with years passed significantly. I'm getting immune even to my mother's attempts to push my buttons. :D

However, even when I do get upset I make it a point to deal with it myself first, show as little as possible about my feelings, and I don't let myself snap at others, because I dislike them doing it on me. I don't especially care when people who are not close to me are snappy towards me, I tend to view it as general disrespect to others, but I don't stand to be close with people who have tendency to be snappy whenever something is not the way they want it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
I think the cornerstone for me managing my anger has to do with the fact that I don't like to get angry. I have issues with emotional control--for myself, not others-- and I despise the feeling of letting something so irrational steer my words or actions. Even worse, I dislike the prospect of letting anyone get under my skin so much that they throw off my equilibrium.

Agree. I think I have to learn not to let people get the best of me. I think I allow it happen because I'm bit oversensitive sometimes. I feel embarrassed when I realized I've gotten upset to the point that someone realizes they've been able to rattle me. But I also struggle with the feeling of not being allowed to be upset. Being visibly upset is not considered socially appropriate today but sometimes it can't be helped if someone crosses the line and expects you to not respond. People think that if you're quiet or not verbal about previous upsets that they should be able to say and do things which are upsetting because they assume you won't respond. All this while, you're building up anger and resentment underneath, which makes you feel as if you're about to blow. Not good. So, I know my being visibly upset may not change anything, but sometimes it's cathartic. Sucking it up is not always healthy especially if you're seething inside. This doesn't mean, anger shouldn't be controlled. It should be expressed appropriately without negative results, but it needs to expressed or dealt with rather than ignored in some circumstances, not all. I've allowed myself to get upset at things which most people would probably brush off, and I understand that but to constantly suppress anger or displeasure just to make people happy is not always easy. Maybe that's Fi. If there's a valid reason for the upset, then it should be acknowledged by us, even if it's just for ourselves. I guess, in the end, if the person doesn't care, then you can't do anything about that. It doesn't mean the anger isn't justified and that you don't have the right to express it, but in the end you do what's right for you, what helps you deal with it, even if it's not understood by anyone else.
 
Last edited:
I'm a pretty laid back person and, if I'm not already stressed to begin with, I tend to have a very long fuse. Mostly because I try not to take anything personally and I give most people the benefit of a doubt. I know from my own experience that I get irritated with people who assume things about my motivations without investigating or getting their facts straight (I loathe the 'you did this to hurt/annoy me on purpose' argument), so I try not to do the same to other people.

It really takes a lot to get me angry--but when I do, I really do. There are only a handful of people in my life who have ever heard me raise my voice or swear or get upset in general and I've been told it's pretty frightening to see me mad. I don't fly off the handle so much as I vouch to tell the truth in the harshest way possible.

The things that set me off are usually unfair behavior, cruelty, and passive-aggressiveness/manipulative behaviour. I can usually stand passive-aggressiveness and manipulative behaviour up to a point; if its directed towards me and I see it, I ignore it. But if its directed towards someone else and its clearly upsetting them and the person doing it has malicious intentions, I get pretty pissed.

And as stated, assumptions about my person or my family and friends tend to be a trigger for me. I'm usually able to recognize it for what it is--a projection of the other individual's unfounded fears, envies, or discomfort rather than anything that I have actually done wrong-- and laugh about it, but if the person is especially needling in their insinuations, I have to remove myself from their vicinity. There is no reasoning with people who have made up their minds about something that doesn't exist and I know that if I engage them aggressively, I'm only giving them the reaction they were looking for. This usually leads to circular argumentation and people bringing up petty, useless crap just so they can say their piece. That kind of selfishness does not mesh with my system at all, especially if I see it being detrimental to the group or project as a whole.

I think the cornerstone for me managing my anger has to do with the fact that I don't like to get angry. I have issues with emotional control--for myself, not others-- and I despise the feeling of letting something so irrational steer my words or actions. Even worse, I dislike the prospect of letting anyone get under my skin so much that they throw off my equilibrium.

This, plus I have realized to laugh at myself when I get offended, because I realize I am hypersensitive about certain issues, and people are not usually trying to personally attack me. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
Comes and goes in waves. Then I remember how good I am at feeling numb. :)

^ This

I get angry quite often actually. It's irrational and stupid usually, and when I realize that then I'm able to cut the fuse and feel, well, nothing.

This numbing ability, the indifference, is how I usually cope with immediate anger so that I can rationalize it later.
 
My boyfriend's friends don't invite him to stuff because they're afraid of "the jenny-bomb." I suppose that means yes. I get upset when I see people failing to exercise basic human decency, and that seems to happen a lot.
 
Do you get upset easily?

I do sometimes. I mean this very generally, as in I'm occasionally moody, sensitive, touchy, blah blah. I don't get angry as easily, though. I'm beginning to realize that I'm generally only likely to get angry when I'm already feeling mentally/emotionally compromised in some way, which often relates to chronic neglect/deprivation of a need. I'm much more likely to shrug things off or not be thrown off balance when I'm in a good mood or all my basic needs are fulfilled.

What makes you get upset or snap?

I'm not proud to admit this but I'm much more likely to snap or express myself rudely with several specific people. Again, they tend to be someone with whom there is a history of repeated frustrations and I guess that unresolved baggage is accessible from each conversation. That sounds stupid, I know, I'm trying to figure it out. I strive not to snap at people randomly. I will, occasionally, alter my tone of voice to relay my upset but I'm trying to curb (i.e. eliminate) this as it's not constructive.

How do you manage or control it?

Some people, some situations, they're just not worth getting upset over (although worth trying to figure out, imho). I suppose this kind of thought/approach only works for the mildly irritating cases, the one's that don't strike us where we feel it the most, but hopefully these are more common anyway. For the other ones... it might come to the processing of emotions and working through of thoughts, introspection, etc. that I do on my own in general. Through it, I'm learning to not respond and to not get entangled with other people's issues. I also use avoidance and detachment, but I don't espouse these.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
Do you get upset easily? What makes you get upset or snap?

How do you manage or control it?

I do get upset easily at times. When somebody asks me the same question over and over 15 times, when somebody makes fun of another person for literally being mentally retarded, when an ending to a good movie or series sucks, if somebody's not respecting me, almost anything that goes with school, etc.

I don't get upset when somebody says they're sorry (well, depending on what they did, if they mean it, etc.), somebody's trying hard but not understanding something,

I sometimes distract my mind with something else. Or when I see the case of somebody making fun of another who's mentally retarded I take action. With the good movie ending badlly, I just rant it out, maybe do some fanfiction. If someone's not respecting me, I keep it to myself and try to avoid this person. With school, I don't really have a strategy to be honest. Maybe distracting myself?
 
Yes I do, and I wish I did not. I am very sensitive, especially with things said from people I care very much about. I also have a tendency to dwell on things a bit more than I would like which makes the simmering pot syndrome that much worse. Meh.
 
I'm a pretty good rock when it comes to getting upset. Nothing really gets to me much unless it's something really raw for me, but i never show anyone that I am upset, because I have this subconscious feeling that if i do i'm showing weakness to people which is a no go.

If something does upset me to a great deal, i'll just retreat from all social interaction and will keep to myself until i feel better, to save me lashing out at anyone. I have a really long fuse when it comes to my temper and i rarely lose it which im proud of. I'm also buddhist so that probably helps xD
 
No, some idiots work very hard to upset me. Doing cruel things is hard work after all.