Distinguishing INFJs from INFPs

[VH]

It's about time I school you guys on the differences between INFPs and INFJs.

I consider myself schooled.

--INFPs seem somewhat "cold" sometimes due to their Fi. INFPs are EXTREMELY sensitive, yet it is under the surface and unseen. INFJs' Fe allows them to be "gushy" and "emotive." INFJs have no problem expressing themselves, sometimes to the annoyance of the INFP when they feel the INFj is being too "critical." INFPs aren't "gushy." INFPs are intense in a quiet way. (It's kinda hot actually, the hidden passion bubbling just under the surface of the INFP!!! Huzzah!) I call this the teddy bear black hole phenomenon. Those of you who have visited INFPgc know what I'm talking about.

I disagree with... the wording here. I think you are speaking truth, but a few things need clarified. INFJs can be overly polite. INFPs can forget to be polite all together. At the same time, INFJs seem to have less emotional intensity than INFPs. If an INFP appears cold, they appear very cold. If they appear warm, they appear very warm. When they are quiet, they are extremely quiet. When they are loud, they are extremely loud. And when they gush, they fully gush. INFJs are often very hard to read because they tend to have so little capacity with Fi, and appear even keel more often than not to a degree that brings a great deal surprise when they finally express an intense emotion. On the other hand, INFPs have so little capacity with Fe that they frequently feel intruded upon if someone suggests they feel differently than they do.

--INFJs analyze and analyze! INFJs are constantly looking at the "why" and the "how." INFPs like to look at the "what if."

This is a genius description of the difference between Ni and Ne! Kudos!

 

[TK*]

I consider myself schooled.



I disagree with... the wording here. I think you are speaking truth, but a few things need clarified. INFJs can be overly polite. INFPs can forget to be polite all together. At the same time, INFJs seem to have less emotional intensity than INFPs. If an INFP appears cold, they appear very cold. If they appear warm, they appear very warm. When they are quiet, they are extremely quiet. When they are loud, they are extremely loud. And when they gush, they fully gush. INFJs are often very hard to read because they tend to have so little capacity with Fi, and appear even keel more often than not to a degree that brings a great deal surprise when they finally express an intense emotion. On the other hand, INFPs have so little capacity with Fe that they frequently feel intruded upon if someone suggests they feel differently than they do.

All of those things are true that you write about. I think in this case we'll have to merge our two thoughts. INFJs are usually VERY polite, like you said, but can still "gush" and "emote" like a volcano. I know some INFPs (usually the younger ones) who are very loud or very quiet like you say--adjusted INFPs are more "under the surface." At least, from my experience.

INFPs, when they feel their values are being threatened, explode with intensity surpassing ANY MBTI type, methinks. They DO feel intruded upon if you feel differently from them because their values are so close to their personal make-up.

Von Hase, you are awesome. Kudos to YOU, sir!

 

[arbygil]

The whys vs the what-ifs...this is profound! It sounds like it comes down to whether you can accept your conclusion without having all the answers, or if you have to know all the answers before you can accept the conclusion.

Me, I don't want all the questions. The "what if" game gets old and frustrates me after I reach my conclusion. I think other types really use the, "well what about this..." clause a lot, and nothing frustrates me more than when I see the conclusion RIGHT THERE and I'm still getting questions about, "well, what if x happens"?

JUST DO EEET! Lol!

 

[VH]

All of those things are true that you write about. I think in this case we'll have to merge our two thoughts. INFJs are usually VERY polite, like you said, but can still "gush" and "emote" like a volcano. I know some INFPs (usually the younger ones) who are very loud or very quiet like you say--adjusted INFPs are more "under the surface." At least, from my experience.

Agreed. Your insights are awesome, and we're dealing with a subject that has extremely subtle distinction. It's going to take a lot of detail to make the differences clear in the demeanor of INFJs and INFPs. As much colaboration as can be offered on these distinctions is warranted.

I probably shouldn't mention this, but on the subject of that 'under the surface' emotion, my INFP best friend and I used to date, and wow... did she have a lot of passion under the surface. I know that volcano you speak of. I think she got tired of me trying to turn it into something both intense and exquisite. She just wanted to erupt unrestrained when she finally could, which always felt so selfish to me. I wanted the eruption to be a mutual display of our affection for one another, but she wasn't capable of seeing us as a single entity as a couple. It was ultimately the cause of our relationship failing.

INFPs, when they feel their values are being threatened, explode with intensity surpassing ANY MBTI type, methinks. They DO feel intruded upon if you feel differently from them because their values are so close to their personal make-up.

Oh boy howdy is this true. My INFP friend has exploded on me a few times when I disagreed with something attached to her personal emotional make up. It was like a lion roaring, and from out of nowhere. The Fi explosion is something I may never understand. It seems so self absorbed.

In contrast, when you disagree with an issue important to the world view of an INFJ, they don't like it, but they will try to explain why (again with the why) you are wrong. They will only become irrationally upset if the debate escalates into an argument, and are more likely to just stop arguing with someone who is clearly too dumb to understand 'how it is' (Ni).

Von Hase, you are awesome. Kudos to YOU, sir!

*blush* We will also have to share the awesomeness, hehe.

 

[VH]

The whys vs the what-ifs...this is profound! It sounds like it comes down to whether you can accept your conclusion without having all the answers, or if you have to know all the answers before you can accept the conclusion.

Me, I don't want all the questions. The "what if" game gets old and frustrates me after I reach my conclusion. I think other types really use the, "well what about this..." clause a lot, and nothing frustrates me more than when I see the conclusion RIGHT THERE and I'm still getting questions about, "well, what if x happens"?

JUST DO EEET! Lol!

I have almost strangled several people over the years because of this very thing, only to find out that they were ENTPs or ENFPs later. It still annoys the hell out of me, but now I know why they what if.

How ironic is that?!

Edit: Though I have to say, the ENTP and ENFP what if machine guns are quite possibly the most annoying human traits in the universe. Not only can they not stop what iffing, they have to blurt it out at obnoxious speed so no one can interrupt them while they are interrupting everyone else. At one point, I had to offer an ENFP "a nice hot cup of shut the hell up". Needless to say, that didn't go over well at all.

 

[arbygil]

Lol! It is ironic. But you know what? I think we're just as bad on their end. They figure, "why in the world are they ending this, when there's so much else to consider? They're not perfect!"

And I can see why some folks think we're either vain, or unapproachable. I almost exploded at work the other day, because we're revamping the way we see students. The other INFJ in the room and I were going nuts. This was the third discussion we've had, and I'm sure she concluded like I concluded that the time for talk was over - and now we needed to just try it.

But nooooo. Everyone else wanted to discuss it. And discuss it. And figure out if X plan was better than Y plan, etc. etc. etc.

I was short, sometimes. And I knew I wasn't being very friendly. But dangit, talkin' ain't doin'!

 

[gloomy-optimist]

This also sounds very INFP actually. I saw your pic in the user forums, and I have to say that on top of being utterly adorable, you have a demeanor more like the INFPs I know than the INFJs. The INFJs have this serene distance in their demeanor stemming from their perception being internalized and their feelings not being focused on themselves. You seem to have an apparent emotional presence (inner warmth in that picture) and an apparent external focus. Those are likely Fi and Ne functions, respectively. It makes you very charming and attractive.

Edit: and looking at your ENFJ friend, I'm seeing my own eyes and demeanor. Dang. I may actually be an eNFJ. I don't have that serene INFJ look either. Doh. Stupid paradigm shifts resulting from being the victim of my own advice... *repeatedly bangs head on Fe*

I've trained myself to look warmer in pictures, actually. Most of the time, it's hard for me to smile sincerely in a picture; a lot of time, I have a more distant look. In fact, most of the time I look high or goofily over-enthusiastic (which I do for fun). Lately, I've been taking pictures more like the one you saw -- but then, lately I think I've been developing Ne and Fi more too.

 

[Pristinegirl]

Oh gee haha I'm such a P xD So there is a certain look for P's differing from J's? This is surprising actually, please tell me more ^^

 

[IndigoSensor]

You sound a lot like my best friend who is an INFP, actually. INFJs rarely blast out their opinions unless asked, or highly relevant to the subject. INFPs will dump them on people's heads, sometimes with little segue. Both INFJs and INFPs have the ability to stick to something once it is a permanent decision, due to their strong F functions. It may be possible that your confusion on the types stems from not wanting to let go of being an INFJ, or perhaps a very strong Ne that keeps considering the possibilities rather than Ni which rules out the impossibilities?

Um, no. I know no INFP who state their opinions like I do. All of the ones I know are very quiet in that respect, and seldom do it. I mean comon, P is not a kind to state opinions, J's are the ones who do. Very strong opinions that will upset people, I won't say unless asked.

Trust me, I am an INFJ. I have some INFP traits, but not very many. My Ne isn't that developed. (Ni > Fi > Ti > Fe > Ne > Te > Si > Se). And what you said about values being intruded on. When someone goes agients my values, I will be very upset over it, but I won't explode all over the person. I will try to explain to them why I feel this way and try to convince them otherwise. I have have like no temper, and I am the only one who will see my temper.

One thing I use to distinguish INFP's from INFJ's is that, INFP's will bury there head in the sand the minute something negitive shows up, and will try to sugar coat it. INFJ's will be repelled by the negitivity, but won't try to sugar coat it at all.

 

[acd]

One thing I use to distinguish INFP's from INFJ's is that, INFP's will bury there head in the sand the minute something negitive shows up, and will try to sugar coat it. INFJ's will be repelled by the negitivity, but won't try to sugar coat it at all.

You are so wrong.

 

[candaylandjoe]

One thing I use to distinguish INFP's from INFJ's is that, INFP's will bury there head in the sand the minute something negitive shows up, and will try to sugar coat it. INFJ's will be repelled by the negitivity, but won't try to sugar coat it at all.

For starters, this is a vague statement; but you were probably writing this in a flurry or a hurry, I don't know which at this point. One of those.

I can't say that I agree or disagree because I'm not clear as to what you mean.

I will say that it seems that you are referring to negative emotions. If one is talking about differences between infxs in such a context, I think that you should consider individual differences. Compare two people you know in real life, for instance. Maybe even a few pairs. Tie those examples up with your statement and maybe you'll have a more convincing argument.

 

[TK*]

LOL. Indigo, now you've done it!

 

[VH]

One thing I use to distinguish INFP's from INFJ's is that, INFP's will bury there head in the sand the minute something negitive shows up, and will try to sugar coat it. INFJ's will be repelled by the negitivity, but won't try to sugar coat it at all.

All of my INFP friends have a switch that flips when they get upset. Dominant Fi causes them to feel extremely intense emotions, more intense than any other type. When they get mad, they have trouble containing their rage. When they are happy, they are joyous. When they are scared, they are panicing. The emotion invoked is a reaction to the stimulus for the individual, so results may vary. However, INFPs will always have rather extreme responses when pressed.

I've also not known many INFPs to sugar coat much of anything. INFJs will tend to be diplomatic when they have to tell someone something uncomfortable, but will avoid doing so at all if they can. INFPs will tell you how they feel when asked, or if they feel strongly. It might not be perfectly clear to the listener, but it makes sense to the INFP, and words will not be minced in the process.

 

[acd]

As usual, Von Hase is pretty right-on..

What you call, "burying their head in the sand" is most likely just a negatively skewed way of saying that a mature INFP is wise enough to know when a confrontation is not worth it.

Seeing as how we're a pretty extreme lot emotionally, we do try our best to avoid the negative emotions--esp. those brought about by conflict because where there's a potential fight or argument--we have control over being involved in it (as any other person).

And, seeing as how we're a pretty extreme lot emotionally, we have no choice but to learn how to temper our emotions with reason to control them so that they don't wreak havoc in our lives or the lives of others close to us. We're very good at intuiting where certain interactions are going to lead, and we strive for the positive ones for the benefit of those involved. (Usually.)

And I couldn't have clarified the sugar-coating thing better than Von Hase did.

 

[mayflow]

You are so wrong.

INFP's are pretty hard to rile up, but if you do, watch out.

 

[acd]

Haha. That's true. I'm not riled though. Just not sugar coating.

 

[VH]

Seeing as how we're a pretty extreme lot emotionally, we do try our best to avoid the negative emotions--esp. those brought about by conflict because where there's a potential fight or argument--we have control over being involved in it (as any other person).

My INFP friend often says she has to control whether or not she gets involved in a conflict before she gets into it, because once she does she is no longer in control. It took a lot of experience for her to come to that conclusion. I would assume most INFPs eventually make the same realization. When Ne shows a host of out of control conclusions approaching, young INFPs get upset and jump at them, while wise INFPs avoid them.

It's kind of like watching Bruce Banner politely get away from everyone before he turns into the Hulk. If something makes her unable to avoid the emotional trigger, it is on like Donkey Kong.

Haha. That's true. I'm not riled though. Just not sugar coating.

See, Indigo? I told ya they don't sugar coat. Hehe.

 

[acd]

You'd be surprised. When I was a kid all I ever did was fling myself into conflict. It was all I knew. I grew up in a violent home, and when my friends at school were getting picked on, I thought it was my job to take on the bully (and get my ass kicked all the time.)

Oh, I've been a fighter in my life..and a vicious one, too... but as I got older I realized my energy is better spent building positive interactions that are going to blossom into relationships and more growth, than to spread the harm and hinder myself as well.

But yes, these days it takes quite a lot before I will engage in combat, if ever at all. I've learned to choose my words wisely and not to make personal attacks--but if I do get involved in confrontation I am only involved because I see that it is something that will not just dissipate and needs to be resolved.

 

[mayflow]

Haha. That's true. I'm not riled though. Just not sugar coating.

At present, I am not doing much sugar coating a whole lot of things either.

 

[acd]

At present, I am not doing much sugar coating a whole lot of things either.

May, my friend, I have noticed.