Can you force yourself to be attracted to someone? | INFJ Forum

Can you force yourself to be attracted to someone?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Reon, Nov 7, 2009.

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  1. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    I was running and playing amongst the INTjs on their forum when I ran upon this comment that one intj suspected that you could force yourself to be attracted to someone when the have one feature that you find particularly unappealing. I was quite taken aback, I never thought anyone had to force themselves to find someone attractive, or that they would want too. It seems fake to me.

    What do you think?
     
  2. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    I dont think its possible...at least not for me...but i never base a relationship on physical attraction anyway. I can say that with more knowledge of a person, you can come to find them attractive because you care about them. But forcing it...no I dont think I could
     
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  3. drsolace

    drsolace Community Member

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    I can force attraction pretty easily, but I don't like doing it. Like you, I believe it is fake.

    The only time it's acceptable for me is if my buddy is trying to pick up a very pretty lady and I have to distract her friend :m027:
     
  4. OP
    Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    How can you force yourself to be attracted to someone? It's just a foreign concept to me.
     
  5. PoetOfDreams

    PoetOfDreams Shadow Queen

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    It is not possible... for me at least. Also, I am having a hard time detaching myself from someone once I established an attachment.
     
  6. sassafras

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    ...?

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    Uh.... Keep drinking till he/she starts lookin' good is probably the only workable (tacky) solution that comes to mind.

    I don't see how it's possible otherwise.
     
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  7. drsolace

    drsolace Community Member

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    Mmmm... I basically disconnect myself from who they are, and see them as I "want" them to be. I'm not entirely sure but doing this changes my attitude towards them and helps me see through their perceived flaws.
     
  8. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    on a side note
    love the new avatar!
     
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  9. Julia

    Julia Community Member

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    My attraction is based on the person's kindness and intelligence. I find my physical attraction and interaction is unusually flexible. On the same note, if someone is a jerk they could look like a movie star and have no effect on me in terms of attraction. I could definitely not force attraction to someone mean.
     
  10. Jana

    Jana Searching...

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    I admit I tried that. Didn't make it. But, he would be perfect for me, so I am trying again. It0s not romantic, I know, but when I acted with heart in matters of love, I ended up bitter and sad. So, I am logical now and I am wondering how thi will end up...
     
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  11. laffeytaffey

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    Hmm... I have tried to become attracted to a guy before, but it doesn't seem possible for me. Either I am or am not. Which... kind of sucks for him, because I know he's more than a little attracted to me. Poor guy.
     
  12. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    I think if you keep repeating it to yourself then you'll actually start to believe it.
     
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  13. Grasshopper

    Grasshopper Community Member

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    That's an interesting question to ponder. I don't think so. Attraction for me is more of a personality thing than a physical thing, and there are some personalities that I really don't think I could force myself to be attracted to.
     
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  14. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    By force - certainly not.

    But I can adapt slowly my own needs. And I'm sure everybody does, all the time, more or less consciously. None of our needs are fully our own anyway. Because if you were born in, or switched to, another reality, with completely different inputs for your senses, you weren't going to develop exactly the same needs you have now. You couldn't even imagine your current needs then.
     
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  15. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    By force, no. By dropping attachment to the need to find some kind of ideal in another person, and replacing it with love and acceptance for who they are, which comes from love and acceptance for oneself, it's perfectly possible.
     
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  16. Tulip

    Tulip Community Member

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    Finding someone attractive and being attracted to this someone are two different matters.

    The former being an objective observation that someone is in general considered to be attractive, while the latter is a subjective experience and involuntary response of personal feeling.

    Neither of the two can be forced in my experience.

    :ranger:
     
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  17. Sithious

    Sithious Well-known member

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    There are many ways to solve this problem, just be creative

    First we have the simple, but oh so effective paperbag over head

    [​IMG]

    Then if your significant other not only lacks in the face department, but the entire package is off course, we have this ingenius design which has been used for centuries by muslims and desert travellers alike.

    [​IMG]

    Then last, but not least.

    This brilliant invention, where you can view pictures of the women of your choice while humping your wife.

    [​IMG]
     
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    #17 Sithious, Nov 7, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2009
  18. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

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    Attraction, or to fall in love?

    No, I don't think you can force yourself to be attracted to someone, but I do think you can look for the things that make them attractive.

    But I do think you can force yourself to fall in love with someone... for a while.
     
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  19. Roger

    Roger ...

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    It is not good thing to force yourself to be attracted to someone. If you do it to get any relationship, then i think it will not last for long. Because it is now physical attracted relation.
     
  20. Quest

    Quest Community Member

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    Some people can. Me, noh.
     
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