[INFJ] - Are you likeable?? Socially accepted?? Even Popular? | Page 4 | INFJs.com

[INFJ] Are you likeable?? Socially accepted?? Even Popular?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Profoundhappiness, May 23, 2015.

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  1. Matt3737

    Matt3737 Similes are like songs in love.

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    Accusing people of jealousy is exactly the same thing as bragging. That you believe people have a legitimate reason to be jealous of you is bragging. Of course, they might all be jealous of you, but that doesn't change the fact that you think that you're all that.



     
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  2. ruji

    ruji Permanent Fixture

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    What you don't know is whether she think she's "all that". She said it wasn't
    bragging, which essentially means she doesn't think she's "all that". At this
    point it's your word against hers. Yet you insisted on stating your adversarial
    opinion in the guise of logic. You're being annoying. Get your aspegers under control.
     
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  3. Jet

    Jet Token Extrovert

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    IME women who don't have any other women friends because women are "jealous" of them...

    I've never know a person irl who disliked someone because of jealousy, bUT im sure aome exist. If the PP is assuming that all those women are jealous of her and that is why they don't want to be friends with her...I mean you have to look for the common denominator.
     
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  4. Matt3737

    Matt3737 Similes are like songs in love.

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    If someone thinks that people are jealous of them, then they must also think that they are worthy of being jealous of. I don't see any confusion here. You're right though. It is my word against hers. I'm okay with that.
     
  5. ruji

    ruji Permanent Fixture

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    Worth is subjective. Whether she thinks she is worthy of jealousy can be completely independent of what other people feel.
     
  6. ruji

    ruji Permanent Fixture

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    I'm not taking sides
     
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  7. Matt3737

    Matt3737 Similes are like songs in love.

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    You're right. As I said, it may very well be the case that every single woman is, in fact, jealous of her. That is entirely besides the point which is exactly what I stated. The point that she feels that it is the fact of the matter is what validates her feelings about herself. Otherwise, she would simply be unaware that other women were jealous of her because she would feel that what she has isn't something to be jealous of.
     
  8. CindyLou

    CindyLou You are here to kneel
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    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly? I think so

    Do you feel you bumble around? No

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others? No I'm not myself. I definitely filter.

    Do people catch that you are different?? Not at first.

    Do you feel like you fit in? Initially.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex?? Yes

    Do people like you, basically. Yes, on the surface everyone likes me until they get to know me better lol
     
  9. Jet

    Jet Token Extrovert

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    Lol. I'm not either. I just can't stand stand when people perpetuate unsubstantiated stereotypes (like the catty jealous girl).

    If everyone always treats you in a certain way, it should be cause for reflection. It's tough, but arguably for the best.

    I mean I'm trying to do the same thing, so it's not like I'm trying to be mean, but idk maybe it does make me.mean?
     
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  10. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    I go through waves of being popular, or feeling unpopular. It doesn't bother me either way as long as I have my core 'true friends'. I'm not willing to morph into a false identity to be well liked, or kiss up to people.

    My ratio for male and female friends is about even. I have two friends who are like sisters to me - both INFPs. My husband's bandmates are like family and there are a few men I'd close with, but I definitely prefer my 'sisters' for open-hearted, no layers hidden friendships. There was a time (in high school) when all my close friends were boys because I didn't know any girls with common interests. I learned my lesson that having all guy friends isn't a good idea. As an adult I've had similar problems with some friends: If you're the only woman a shy, introverted guy knows well and/or the only woman a guy shares common interests with, the odds of him crushing on you increase. It isn't personal. So, I stay out of those situations now. I also refuse to be friends with a man unless I'm also friends with his wife, out of respect for her. If a man is offended by this, we don't need to be friends.

    Honestly, there is a type of woman that always hates me. Oh, the side-eyeing. These are the self-proclaimed queens who boss and nag their husbands around. Their husbands usually comment that I'm a cool wife to my husband, which is a passive aggressive insult about their wives, and it makes women so angry with me. Noooooooo! I try to give the 'queen' types a wide girth.

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
    I don't think anyone navigates the social landscape 'flawlessly', but I'm a decent sailor.

    Do you feel you bumble around?
    Not usually, though there are times when I feel awkward. I do not do well when I'm being scrutinized, no matter the situation.

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    I'm myself, but I have layers and decide how many layers a person gets to see.

    Do people catch that you are different?
    Always.

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    No, never, but it doesn't bother me, and a lot of people like that about me.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex?
    Yes. A lot of guys feel like they can talk to me, and a lot of other guys just pretend they want to talk.

    Do people like you, basically?
    Yes. I'm friendly with a lot of people of all different types. The friendship is doomed if people need me to kiss up, or be exactly like them. A lot of my friends are polar opposite of me, but we get along because we respect each other's ideas and choices. We also make each other think and give each other alternative perspectives.
     
  11. Dear imperfect

    Dear imperfect Regular Poster

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    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
    I don't think anyone can ever do that (everybody can't like you) but right now it's okay. The mistake I'm doing the most often is caring to much about what other people thinks and trying to change.

    Do you feel you bumble around?
    I used to. But know that I'm trying to be myself it's getting better and better.

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    As I said before, I'm trying to. I still get inspired by other but I've stoped comparing myself with other and that's so dam good!

    Do people catch that you are different??
    Not really, because they are trying to make me fit in a simple categorie and when I do something diferent they just find an excuse LMAO

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    Sometimes... Yes. More and more.
    But I don't think I could ever totally fit. I just have to accept that.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??
    Yes and that is totataly weird. But that's new and for now, most of them are wachting form farm away. Those who try... get burn.
    All but one. But he is ESTP, to complicate for me. I feel like we will never understand each others.
    Too bad, waiting for the next one.

    Do people like you, basically.
    I really don't know

    :)[/QUOTE]
     
  12. ezra

    ezra Very pretentious

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    ENFP'er weighing in for attention

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?

    I'm great at reading people and my surroundings. So much so that I begin to question who I am, and if I truly enjoy the situation I'm in.
    It's gotten better as I've matured more and become more aware of who I think I am.

    Do you feel you bumble around?
    I love the term "bumble around". I can be very aware of my body that I freeze in one spot. Attention is a drug like so many others, one I'm trying to quit.

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    I'm getting there. I wish my filter didn't work so I could just tell people to leave me alone from time to time.

    Do people catch that you are different?
    Yes and no. My adaptability can come across as suspicious or fake. After a while, I start to disappear into my own head, and people pick up on who I really am. Different.

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    No. I tried to fit in for so long that it almost ruined my life, but I never had my heart in it.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex?
    Yes. For all the wrong reasons.

    Do people like you, basically?
    Very much so, but not for who I am, but who I pretend to be.
     
  13. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit EAT THE UNICORN MEAT!
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    Do you have trouble spots?
    Crowds

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
    I'm decent.

    Do you feel you bumble around?
    Sometimes. I'm a streaky, cluster bumbler. I'll go stretches without bumble, then all of a sudden I'll bumble and that bumble leads to another bumble and another, until the bumbles stop.

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    I am myself. I don't so much filter myself as I adapt to a situation. It's all me though. I'm adaptable

    Do people catch that you are different??
    All. The. Time.

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    Yes. I make myself fit in by adapting.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??
    I don't know.

    Do people like you, basically.
    I like people, until I don't. They like that I like them, so sure.
     
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  14. the

    the Leafy Greens

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    Dat booty
     
  15. invisible

    invisible is invisible

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    [​IMG]
     
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  16. invisible

    invisible is invisible

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    Do you have trouble spots?
    I struggle with starting conversations with new people. Once someone has started a conversation with me, it's OK, because I just keep asking them questions about themselves and their interests, and most people like to talk about themselves. But sometimes in a networking type event I can be left out and awkward until someone takes pity and starts a conversation with me. I'm not very good at engaging or manifesting my self in social situations.

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
    No. I'm not expert at pretending when I don't like someone or when I'm just not very interested in them, because I struggle to recognise the irrelevance of my emotions to the situation and to put them aside. I try hard to be fair and to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I don't think that can be described as navigation.

    Do you feel you bumble around?
    No, I don't bumble around. My interaction style is too brief. I do make occasional social faux pas though. Is that bumbling? No one knows everything. We always have to do our best to refrain from making assumptions and to really listen to others. Sometimes you just can't be bothered, and that's probably the worst.

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    I am constantly trying to authentically represent my self, but I have a lot of ideas in here that I don't think are very appropriate to share with everyone or in all situations, and I guess that could be described as filtering. Maybe most of us do it.

    Do people catch that you are different?
    Am I different? I really don't know. I'm sure that everyone feels that they are different at times. I never seem to naturally fit into a "gang" or "group" or "scene" at all, so I guess people do tend to reject me as different, I'm not really sure.

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    No, not really. Some times more than others I guess. Some people will make an effort to make me feel that I fit in, like family, or at certain office parties, and that's very kind of them. I think that I mainly feel more or less like a loner.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex?
    I've been told that I can have any man that I want. I've been told that there's something about me that guys are drawn to. Those things aren't true, but they're nice compliments. Often it seems that I become much more attractive to guys who spend time with me, but I'm not "sexy" or anything like that. But sometimes a man I meet or who sees me from a distance starts acting really obsessed with me, which is strange.

    Do people like you, basically.

    I really don't know whether they do or not. I am both reserved and shy. I have been told that I am unapproachable, frosty, aloof, and stuck up. I have also been told that I am always a pleasure to talk with. I think people like me more when they get to know me. I try to connect as authentically as possible, but I think there is a part of me that with most people remains reserved and distant.
     
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  17. cptawesome

    cptawesome Community Member

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    1)That's interesting. I find myself blending with society whenever it is around. I don't bend what I believe but I do try to act like I am no different not because I'm an idiot but because its called emotional intelligence I guess. I do try to find a line between emotional intelligence and who I am but it is troublesome. When I do act myself, people find me cryptic,deceiving, and mysterious. I kinda like it but I can't live in a bomb shell.

    2) I navigate how people play roles in a social landscape flawlessly. I do not however care about the individual system itself but the people in it. It just doesn't interest me. It's all political. Sometimes I see myself desiring equality for all of humanity but I do also believe that people are a product of their own success.

    3) Generally, I'm complicated and it works. I do filter people who I don't like but I generally give everyone a chance.

    4) Well nobody generally tells me anything specific but I do hear that I'm wise beyond my years and I am little indifferent to the way society works. It pisses some people off but eh its just who I am.

    5) No, I don't feel like I fit in, I hate feeling like I need to conform to something beneath my natural talents. Its outrageous but that is what society wants.

    6)I am popular but not superficially, people always tell my family I'm different. Women do tend to flock to me when I'm in a good mood and being witty but other than that, guys just think a pain in the a** half the time.

    7) I think people do like me because I make it about them when I'm there but under all that altruism is a stronger desire to be selfish.
     
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  18. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Spruced Up

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    Do you have trouble spots?
    I get bored by chit-chat, unless it's ironic chit-chat.

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
    No, I usually avoid boring conversations, or change the topic to something worth discussing.

    Do you feel you bumble around?
    No. I'll make my own fun, or go somewhere more interesting.

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    Usually myself, but selectively so.

    Do people catch that you are different??
    Yes.

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    Yes and no. I make room for me to fit in.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??
    Reactions vary from mesmerized to irritated.

    Do people like you, basically.
    I think people have polarized opinions about me. Love, hate, or love-hate.In the rare circumstances where I'm mostly passive, people generally like me... but I'm seldom passive, so being generally liked isn't the norm for me.
     
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  19. Dear imperfect

    Dear imperfect Regular Poster

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    That's the story of my life. .. people like me until they know me. And then they run away
     
  20. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Spruced Up

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    I didn't want to know that.

    *runs away *

    :p
     
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