[INFJ] - Are you likeable?? Socially accepted?? Even Popular? | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] Are you likeable?? Socially accepted?? Even Popular?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Profoundhappiness, May 23, 2015.

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  1. Profoundhappiness Regular Poster

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    I'm curious, how likeable or "Popular" INFJ's are amongst their peers and friends and social networks.

    Do you have trouble spots?

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?

    Do you feel you bumble around?

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?

    Do people catch that you are different??

    Do you feel like you fit in?

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??

    Do people like you, basically.


    :)

     
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  2. sprinkles

    sprinkles Permanent Fixture

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    People seem to get along with me better than I get along with them.

    It seems easy for people to like me if I let them and some times they do anyway even if I don't let them. I don't even know why. I don't try or anything.

    I do what I want. I don't feel I need to fit in. Some people try to fit me in regardless. I don't feel I'm bumbling unless I'm forced into something that I don't necessarily find natural for me.

    I don't really filter myself. I just curb my intensity to an extent. I do look to other people for cues on how to behave but that's mostly out of being considerate.
     
  3. Free

    Free I will love you when you are a still day.
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    ^ This

    It's easy for me to socialize, meaning, I know how to do it and do it well, but only if I must. But it feels very fake to me, like an act, and I do hide a great deal of myself just to rub elbows with co-workers or peers to discuss small-talk in a social setting. Even if I can blend in with the crowd, I'll soon become noticed. And like [MENTION=6917]sprinkles[/MENTION], people will make it their mission to get you to "let loose". It's annoying.

    I'm much more myself and at ease when socializing on a small scale. Some of the rare few that made it out of the crowd to socialize with me one on one are often surprised how different I am. I was told that my "quiet ways" in a group are sometimes considered "distant and unnerving", even "mysterious and alluring" to those who express themselves so freely. And in small groups, I hear all the time, "I never knew you were so funny, caring, friendly, blah, blah."

    But I am not one for acquaintances. A cherished few who know the real me is all I will ever need.
     
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  4. Erlian

    Erlian Community Member

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    Not INFJ, but INTJ who's close to being an "ambivert".


    Do you have trouble spots?
    I can get really enthousiatic in discussions and not notice that other people are bored or annoyed.


    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?

    Not flawlessly, but good enough for me.

    Do you feel you bumble around?
    Bumble?

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    I am per definition always myself. Mostly I'll be more reserved than I want to be. I'll have a lot going on in my mind what I might want to share, but I'm afraid I'll be too obstrusive or uninteresting. Most noticable whether I'm in a generally extraverted group (more jokes and small talk) or a more introverted group.
    And I also enjoy pretty much all kind of talk. Smalltalk, personal stuff, intellectual stuff (politics, science) or the news, it's all fine to me, so I'll just adapt to what the other likes. I prefer the intellectual ones though. I think you could say I adapt a lot to others, but honestly I don't really care. Sometimes if I want to go out or on some trip, I don't give a flying fuck where we go. I just want to go with nice people.

    Do people catch that you are different??
    If they know me for a longer while, probably. Not even sure if I'm that different.

    Do you feel like you fit in?

    Not always, but mostly I do.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??

    I think I've been approached by girls around 5-10 times in the last 5 years. If it happens, I don't know what to do and I screw up.
    The first time I approached a girl after recovering from some broken love was really nice. I opened with "What do you like?" She answered rather quickly: "You!" That was going really well quickly until she mentioned that her ex since a week was right there with her group of friends. Then it became awkward and I didn't know what to do, thus screwed up.
    So no, I can't say I'm popular amongst the other sex, but I'm not complaining. I should just put myself out there more often.

    Do people like you, basically?
    I'm not the funny guy or instantly friends with the people I meet. I find it a lot easier to befriend girls though. They probably appreciate a calm and nice person more, whereas that doesn't really work with guys.


    To be precise I'm certainly not dislikable. If that means I'm likable *shrug*.
    I am socially accepted, but not popular.
     
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  5. invisible

    invisible "a condescending, insufferable person..."

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    im no Korg, but people get obsessed with me. whhhyyyyyyyyyyy
     
  6. bodhireagan

    bodhireagan Community Member

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    Do you have trouble spots?
    Eh, rarely. Most of them come from dealing with males because it is awkward for me most of hte time. I just find 95% of them to be assholes when they have no reason to be.

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
    Yes.
    Do you feel you bumble around?
    Not really.
    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    I filter HEAVILY depending on who I am around. I love making jokes and I don't have a filter on what comes into my head, which is dangerous... Also, I tend to speak and operate far above the usual intelligence level I run into on a daily basis. I dumb down as much as I filter.

    Do people catch that you are different??
    Yes, very often and usually quite quickly.

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    Nope! And I do not mind it one bit.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??
    Yes.... I do so much better with the opposite sex. Plus I am very easy to talk to and am a natural helper. It has gotten me into trouble a lot!

    Do people like you, basically.
    yes. people find me to be a very nice person and easy to get along with.
     
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  7. PintoBean

    Site Supporter

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    I have come to conclusion that I am always almost, but there is something off-putting about me. Some people have explained it me as that I am "intimidating." I think that is a nice way of saying that I am not quite likable for reasons they are either too nice to say or can't quite put their finger on.

    Trouble spots
    Loud, spontaneous, large group situations. Or if an issue I feel strongly about comes up, sometimes I can't bring myself to be diplomatic about it.

    Do you Feel you Bumble Around
    No.

    Do People Catch that you are different?
    Yes, it used to bothered me. Now I don't care usually.

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    Generally, enough to get by anyway.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??
    Maybe a bit more than with my own sex, but now that I think about it, not significantly.

    Do people like you, basically?
    Enough to get by where I need to, enough to have a few people I love in my life. Quality over quantity always!
     
    #7 PintoBean, May 24, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2016
  8. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    Are you likeable?? Socially accepted?? Even Popular?

    people think i'm more popular than i am i get comments like "you must have a lot of friends!" uh sure.
    truthfully i'm a hermit loner and i usually only have a few truly close relationships at any given time.
     
  9. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Temporally relocated

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    A better question...do you care?
     
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  10. OP

    Profoundhappiness Regular Poster

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    Yes i do

     
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  11. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Temporally relocated

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    Why?
     
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  12. OP

    Profoundhappiness Regular Poster

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    Why wouldn't I? When you share like this, it helps the sharer to grow and we can learn from eachother, and grow together.

    Practice of Self-Reflection
     
  13. Gale

    Donor

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    Not an INFJ, but this is exactly me. Maybe it's INFs in general who experience these traits.
     
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  14. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Temporally relocated

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    Either I am liked or I am not. It is more convenient to be liked but in the end, I care not which it is.
     
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  15. illogical

    illogical Regular Poster

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    I dont mind being social when i am at work.
    but when im home i like to be with mysef, i dont need to be socially active like alot of others do.
    some even go insane if they dont sit with thier iphone and spamming text messeges every other minute.
    i like long strolls in nature, listening to birds look at animals. even just smiling to passing persons on the street can make my day.

    at rare occations, if i go on a date with somebody ive written with. it doesnt take long time for them to feel very attracted to me, i have even been offered sexual interaction on a first date. it make me feel very unconfortable, someone i barely know would actually begin to touch certain areas and kiss me. when i tell them i dont feel the same way they get hurt, and i really hate that from the bottom of my heart.
    i actually feel like a scum and a total bastard for turning away. cause no one should ever get hurt by my actions.
    i know it sounds kind of hypocritical because they went on with me, but thats how i feel deep inside.
     
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  16. Artisan

    Artisan Dares, Dreams, Does

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    Do you have trouble spots?
    Yes. Particularly with larger groups and people who do not participate in a mutual conversation. There are some people who reply to things but never ask questions or give something to follow up on, those people are extremely difficult yet usually they are kind souls inside. It just looks like they got no interest in chatting at all even though that is often not the case.

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
    For the most parts, I struggle a bit more with the groups I do not like but that is it.


    Do you feel you bumble around?
    I do not know this expression but the answer is most likely no.


    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
    Yes. I do not filter but I do tailor myself for better communication in the sense that if someone is a primarily a visual learner like myself, or auditory or kinesthetic, I will adjust my word choice to reflect theirs. Example: You see? You hear? You feel? I do however filter any negative emotions I might feel, people cannot see them on me, or hear them in my voice or choice of words.

    Do people catch that you are different??
    Yes

    Do you feel like you fit in?
    No

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??
    No, I'm pretty much invisible

    Do people like you, basically.
    Yes, I am welcome in all groups and everyone says hi when I run into them and tend to stop for a conversation when possible, so I am liked.
    I however do not have people trying to befriend me. So I am liked to the degree that everyone is interested in talking about whatever you can think of with me, just not liked enough to be invited over to join in on any activities.

    If I had to guess, I am known as a really nice guy but nothing more, in a country in which the culture is based on a social structure that is obsessed with status and income.
    For example, If I was part or fully american or went on a vacation to america, I would become really popular as that would add to my status... >.> (other countries less so the further away they are from the US) If I would wear Jeans from an expansive brand, I would also rise in status. No expansive label = no increased status.
    It's pretty fucked up really :p
     
    #16 Artisan, May 26, 2015
    Last edited: May 26, 2015
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  17. INFJ16

    INFJ16 Permanent Fixture

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    Do you have trouble spots?

    I get burned out after being around people in "social mode" for awhile. Whenever I go on an extended trip with my ESFP friend, I freak her out by kind of shutting down. She'll talk progressively more and more, and I'll clam up. She has gotten used to it for the most part, but she doesn't understand it.

    Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?

    Well not flawlessly, but I do naturally well with understanding and executing the social graces.

    Do you feel you bumble around?

    No.

    Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?

    I'm usually careful by thinking about what to say before I say it. That IS me being me. It might be a filter, but it's a natural one to keep me from saying something that could accidentally hurt someone.

    Do people catch that you are different??

    I guess so.

    Do you feel like you fit in?

    Fit in? No. Blend in? Yes. I don't think about it too much, and it depends on who I am with. There are certain people who make me feel very comfortable and normal.

    Popular amongst the opposite sex??

    Uh... I mean, in an average way, sure.

    Do people like you, basically.


    Yes
     
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  18. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    Depends on the day i guess.
     
  19. Tin Man

    Tin Man "not at all a sociopathic dickhead"

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    Likable? I downright adorable.
     
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  20. ruji

    ruji Permanent Fixture

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    I tend to give off a vibe that strangers seem to be very interested in me.
    I think people like me, but that would be hard to gauge since people who don't like you wont stick around.
    In my experience, popularity is a fragile thing, so I don't put too much weight on it. Just have fun, and don't worry about it.
     
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