[INFJ] Are you likeable?? Socially accepted?? Even Popular?

[drummergirlbk]

Do you have trouble spots?
I struggle with socializing as a whole. But I think that the problem isn't me but rather that people don't know how to engage in conversation at my level.

Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
Nope. Never have and probably never will. Socializing is one of my weaknesses.

Do you feel you bumble around?
It depends on where I am. If I have people around me that I can engage in meaningful conversation generally I dont. but otherwise I'm lost as far as socialization goes and find myself doing just that.

Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
I wrote a song about a year ago on this subject. I was at a point in my life where I was a completely different person with every crowd I was in, and it got to the point where I didn't know which one was the real me. After some time I began to realize that each of those supposed faces I wore was in actuality just a part of my complex personality. So in my own way I do both at the same time.

Do people catch that you are different??
Yes. In conversation with someone this is quite obvious. I have a passionate distaste for small talk and I can usually tell how someone is doing by their face so I don't bother asking something I already know the answer to. Plus if they aren't doing great I don't wanna hear a sob story about it cause unless it's something I have experience with or have a logical explanation or solution to, I have better things to do. So I often am perceived as unfriendly or anti-social when I would just rather discuss other things.

Do you feel like you fit in?
Uh, he'll to the no. But I don't mind cause I'm much more interesting to hang out with than most people, so I am perfectly happy keeping to myself.

Popular amongst the opposite sex??
I have more guy friends than girl friends, so the short answer is yes. But part of it is that I do a lot of things that are normally considered male-dominated. For example, I do martial arts, am a drummer, an economist, and am proficient in calculus. I'm also less emotional and am not overly "girly" so I get along with guys better anyway. But also I'm kind of a badass, and other girls don't "get" that about me.

 

[Eh oh]

Do you have trouble spots?
I have trouble when i cant connect with anyone deeply for a long period of time (no intuitive people)

Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
If i have a couple of close friends with me i seem to be able to, but when im alone, i seem to observe and analyze people as well as daydream

Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
Generally depends what you mean by "yourself"? Im always my self when im with a mate 1 on 1 but in social settings i tend to change my personality depending on what i feel the atmosphere is lacking.I always make sure my "personas", as some might say, are aligned with my values and morals.

Do people catch that you are different??
Not quite sure on this one. Im highly reserved and hardly anyone knows any of my personal things so people are always curious to find out what im like

Do you feel like you fit in?
I usually fit in but i end up unhappy when its people i cannot connect deeply with.Not a big fan of shallow talk,gossip and people who follow the crowd(people who follow the crowd will never progress any further than it).I like hanging with people who are open minded,have similar values as well as people who are genuine and authentic.thats when i feel understood and "popular".

Popular amongst the opposite sex??
Hmmm.When it comes to friendships i dont have any that are really close because i seem to retreat as soon as they become attracted to me(want to focus on my life/career etc),plus i dont like opening up to many people.Seem to attract alot of enfps,entps(need more female entp male infj relationships),infps and enfjs. Id have to say that female entps and enfps are highly fascinating as the fluidity and intellect of the conversations seem extremely intense, and we seem to never run out of things to say.

 

[BrokenDaniel]

In certain social circles yes. But i've never really paid that much of an attention to it, nor struggled that much to get to that place, it just happens. Some people seem to like and chase me for no particular reason, nothing that serious and it's not like i'm a magnetic person at all, guess i'm just somewhat clueless of how people relate normally, so when someone starts to like me out of the blue, it's a bit confusing.
There's also people that don't like me at all anyway, actually there are many irl that have repeatedly voiced their disgust of my holy and divine prescence, some people who just don't even say hi to me even though we see each other 5 days a week. Also i used to be massively hated in highschool, at the begining it was difficult, then i realized that they were all fucking idiots and stopped caring.

Always got along better with the ladies. Although i'm by no means "popular" among them, like the kind of guy who goes and listens to their problems and stuff particularily, i'm not a good listener nor advisor, but i do put some effort and i do understand. It's more like making them laugh joke around, n' stuff like that.

 

[Solongo]

im respected but not popular. people either really like me or don't care for me at all and this has always been the case. i don't pursue social functions and friendships and that's probably why it is the way it is and i kind of enjoy it because then i know very clearly who is who and what it is. it's a control mechanism because i know i come off as attractive but odd. the oddness is the factor that usually determines my relationships. those that get it get along very well with me and vice versa. i stopped taking social media seriously few years ago and i use it solely for the enjoyment of entertainment and psychoanalysis of the popular culture but i do not partake in it. if the forums is considered social media then maybe i am part of the machine...who knows.

however; if i ever do wish for competitive popularity and i fore go some of my boundaries and bits of dignity then yes; i think most infjs can fake the funk until they "appear" to have made it - which always makes me wonder why i am not an actor of some kind.

 

[Vict]

Yep.

 

[Skarekrow]

I'm curious, how likeable or "Popular" INFJ's are amongst their peers and friends and social networks.

Do you have trouble spots?

I guess if you want to call it a “trouble” spot it would be my lack of commitment to social engagements…it’s no trouble for me though.

Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?

Do you feel you bumble around?

Yes…because I have a highly developed sense of not giving a fuck.

Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?

Same as above unless I am obligated to behave in a certain manner such as one would at work.

Do people catch that you are different??

Subjective.

Do you feel like you fit in?

No.

Popular amongst the opposite sex??

Generally.

Do people like you, basically.

Sure?

 

[flower]

Do you have trouble spots?
I tend to avoid large groups or places with lot of people. Makes me anxious, insecure and stressed.

Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
Haha, no. It's such a labyrinth to me. o.o

Do you feel you bumble around?
Eh...? I don't know what this means but no?

Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
Yes. I am very shy and quiet but I try my best to be a little bit more talkative. I just generally don't have anything interesting to say in social situations.
Who cares?

Do people catch that you are different??
Yes.

Do you feel like you fit in?
No.

Popular amongst the opposite sex??
Meh... No.

Do people like you, basically.
I think people like me, I hope?

 

[wolkenkraetzer]

Do you have trouble spots?
Sure! Don't we all? I don't like being in large-group situations.

Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
No, but I often give others the impression that I have. Go figure...

Do you feel you bumble around?
At times, yes. Most of the time I am focused on completing a given task.

Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
I am myself. People use their own filters on me, and I am often surprised by their takes on me.

Do people catch that you are different??
People will tell me that I have integrity and am thorough in whatever I do.

Do you feel like you fit in?
I used to know exactly where I fit in, but all of that changed radically almost four years ago when I became a widower. Since that fateful evening, I view myself as a work-in-progress.

Popular amongst the opposite sex??
On the dance floor, yes; outside of that, not really.

Do people like you, basically.
Yes, and I have never understood why.

 

[Misadventure]

A better question...do you care?

Lol, spoken like a true INTJ. You really are just incapable of seeing the NF side in anything The better question yet would be why don't you? That's what we feelers just do not get about you thinkers at all! ...And I jest, I swear!


to the op:

Do you have trouble spots?
large crowds

Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
If I know a few people there, yes. If it's a room full of strangers, I shut down completely

Do you feel you bumble around?
ALL THE EFFING TIME

Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
Highly filtered for the sake of everyone else's sanity

Do people catch that you are different??
not at first..but eventually, yes

Do you feel like you fit in?
never in a day in my life have I felt this

Popular amongst the opposite sex??
yeah, but it's because I have boobs, they help

Do people like you, basically.
Generally, but they also don't know the real me and I don't know if their opinions would change or not. This:

But I am not one for acquaintances. A cherished few who know the real me is all I will ever need.

 

[Scientia]

I'm curious, how likeable or "Popular" INFJ's are amongst their peers and friends and social networks.

Do you have trouble spots?
Not really but I can get tired if the situation has a lot of strangers and calls for extended small talk.

Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
I don't think anyone human can do this flawlessly but I seem better at it than I feel.

Do you feel you bumble around?
No but I can come off as too reserved or cold to people I don't know or don't like.

Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
I don't filter but I hold back and don't show my silly, softer side unless I feel the person is trustworthy.

Do people catch that you are different??
Actually, some do but they know me and catch implies that they don't know me. Those people don't usually see me as different. I only show my quirks when I know and like someone.

Do you feel like you fit in?
I don't ever feel like I fit in but I come across like I do.

Popular amongst the opposite sex??
Popular? No. I do get crushed on somewhat often but I wouldn't say that makes me popular exactly.

Do people like you, basically.
I think so. How can you tell? I am always included in things.

 

[artecbleu]

People I met online tend to appreciate me a lot and feel esteem for me.

Most people I met offline think I'm a sad guy who doesn't talk much and don't have anything special.

 

[Green Seas]

I think so. I normally get on well and I've been invited to more places than I've asked to go to (though I've never asked).

The issue is that I use humour and jokes to avoid any serious conversation and to try and make the person like me. I never spend too much time with any one person to avoid them getting tired of me and I make sure to never tell them anything important that may be used against me. I make sure we stay on topics I'm comfortable with (sport and school/college) and avoid certain issues that may cause unnecessary tension (esp. politics).

The result of these is, by and large, I don't get much trouble from people and they generally like me but I try so hard to not give them a reason too, it's hard to know if the *real me* is likeable.

People I know say I'm likeable but do they know me completely? It's hard to know.

 

[floatingbridge]

Loved for being socially awkward.

 

[ILoveMyISFP]

I'm told that I am sociable, people think because I can handle myself without awkwardness and ease that I'm an extrovert. I'm definitely not. 2 hours socializing and I'm done.

Described as intimidating and mysterious.
I can also be fun and funny in a spontaneous and wild way. My kids think I'm fun and funny, and I am often a center at a party. And then suddenly I leave.

I'm female and have a very open mind, highly intelligent, but not feminist or arrogant... the opposite sex always likes me, romantically and socially. Women do not, but I am realizing it's jealousy - I'm confident and attractive, very put together with a career, successful family (kids) and great relationship with my husband. .

 

[Jet]

I'm told that I am sociable, people think because I can handle myself without awkwardness and ease that I'm an extrovert. I'm definitely not. 2 hours socializing and I'm done.

Described as intimidating and mysterious.
I can also be fun and funny in a spontaneous and wild way. My kids think I'm fun and funny, and I am often a center at a party. And then suddenly I leave.

I'm female and have a very open mind, highly intelligent, but not feminist or arrogant... the opposite sex always likes me, romantically and socially. Women do not, but I am realizing it's jealousy - I'm confident and attractive, very put together with a career, successful family (kids) and great relationship with my husband. .

If no woman like you....yeeeeeaaaaaaah, that's a you thing.

99.98% of the time it's not jealousy ... just sayin

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

 

[Jet]

I suppose I'm likeable enough.

I care far too much about my likeability, but I am also too lazy to try to be more likeable.

I like me, so I suppose that is what matters most right?

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

I like me, so I suppose that is what matters most right?

No

 

[Jet]

No

Boy please...you know what I think is the most important thing ever! I mean they even have those bracelets to remind people to ask WWJD...What would Jet do?

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

Boy please...you know what I think is the most important thing ever! I mean they even have those bracelets to remind people to ask WWJD...What would Jet do?

It's only important if I like you