bodhireagan | INFJ Forum

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Apr 20, 2021 at 10:28 PM
May 9, 2014
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More threads by bodhireagan
July 24
Home Page:
Be happy. Educate others. Be successful (where s

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bodhireagan was last seen:
Apr 20, 2021
    1. Wyote
      Yea, forgot the eggs though. Damn.
    2. Wyote
      Hello fellow INFJ 9w1 Deadpool fan from the states. Are you me?
    3. invisible
      awesome profile text
    4. rawr
      205 apiece. I know. Kinda pricey. 100$ off list price though, and i flip the 27' for $50 more, so really, like $350 for both.
    5. rawr
      so, uh, i ended up with two Dell U2414Hs instead. Got both on sale

      They're so beeaaautiful... :mcute:
    6. rawr
      now if only i could mount that 27" bad boy on a VESA arm...wouldn't need a laptop. Wanna watch TV in bed? Just crane that thing from your desk to your bed and use a wireless keyboard. Think about how awesome that would be.

      do i have the budget for it? Nah...
    7. rawr

      ideally i'd like 2 24"s instead. But i'll see how it is :)
    8. rawr
    9. nosferatu
      I love your Deadpool avatar
    10. just me
      just me
      You noticed that, too, I see. What does it say?
    11. paisley1
      Thought this might give you a lift:

      ...and I read your entire profile.
    12. rawr
    13. finifugal
      brownie point
    14. Somewhereelse
      Agree! We may not have everything we want, but we always have at this moment lots things/people to love. And as I said, anything is possible and make the most out of it~
    15. Somewhereelse
      Cheer up, dude! Life is long and full of possibilities...
    16. just me
      just me
      Then there's always Spock.
    17. just me
      just me
      Stopped by for my brownie point. Why so logical?
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  • About

    July 24
    Home Page:
    Be happy. Educate others. Be successful (where s
    Probably too much to say on a biography, but eh:
    I was doped up on psychotropic medications until I was 19 - at 18 I was legally able to stop them but due to parents threatening to kick me out because they believed I would go crazy without the meds, I could not do much. Then after a year of school and proving myself to everyone who doubted me, I was able to start weening off the medications. 8 months sober and I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I have regained all of my mental functions and intellectual capabilities (they were severely diminished due from 8 years of forced over-medicating) and most of my memory capacity.
    I don't know if I will ever be able to condone medicating a child without their consent - I was the product of "let's fix him" psychiatry, and I only developed severe mental health issues after being forced onto antidepressants in middle school. But it didn't stop there. I ended up on some of the most powerful anti-psychotic meds around at some dangerously high dosages because people kept wanting to "fix me".
    Lesson being: if you do no have chemical imbalances in your brain and they give you medications to balance them, you end up unbalanced, off kilter, and down a hole so deep you can't crawl out of it.
    I am very fortunate to still be around and still have the options in my life I have today - two overdoses and a multitude of other issues couldn't keep me down.
    Really, it saddens me that a doctor would even be willing to give a child under the age of 18 such powerful medications that they lose their short term memory completely, are unable to maintain concentration or focus in any setting, and lose the ability to feel any emotion - essentially becoming "grayed" out. I was first forced onto medications at age 11, and for the next 8 years I never felt like myself. It is a haunting feeling knowing that I am just now, at age 20, actually feeling like myself.
    I kept fighting because I knew deep down that it wasn't my fault I was this way. I was right. Never give up on yourself. I am only here today because I was able to keep a small part of myself alive over those 8 years, I was able to see hope for just a minute every week. Enough that I would go on another day.
    And yes, I have trust issues now. I don't know of any other possible outcome where I wouldn't. To realize that you were almost robbed you of your life by people (including my entire family) who kept trying to change who you were because they thought something was "wrong", it breaks you. For years I stood there and said that I wasn't sick, the medications caused every symptom I had. For years I was then medicated even more because I spoke out against my treatment. Trust is not easily rebuilt, and when I have 8 years of a childhood I will never get back, 8 years of friends I lost, 8 years of people I disappointed because of something that was out of my control, it is impossible to find it again.
    If anyone has actually read this far, I applaud you and give you a brownie point.
    (and if you read this far, do note that I am happily living my life and have none of the issues I had growing up - life feels whole again)
    In descending order, which 6 things could you never do without?:
    - Literature (prose + poetry).
    - ability to think
    - ability to speak
    - a physical escape (the Wilderness)
    - family of any kind
    - technology & the internet
    What would be your epitaph?:
    He is fertilizing the ground - finally he has a purpose
    Writing poetry and spoken word.
    Reading whatever interests me.
    Outdoorsy stuff.
    Woodworking (slowly getting back into it).
    Computers (IT, hardware, software, etc)


    Your reality is only as dangerous to you as you let it be
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