Hmm...interesting. Well, I feel like INFJs and INTJs are in some ways really similar in their complexities (except in different aspects). So I would say INFJs would probably think the same about you INTJs, lol.
Anybody ever date a INTJ?
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Hmm...interesting. Well, I feel like INFJs and INTJs are in some ways really similar in their complexities (except in different aspects). So I would say INFJs would probably think the same about you INTJs, lol.
As I understand it, people are always comfortable with their first two functions, then grow into their third/fourth. Mature INFJs would therefore have a relatively strong T, and INTJs a strong F. So mature, balanced INxJs would indeed be quite similar.
To elaborate, a mature, balanced INFJ and a mature, balanced INTJ would both use a moral feeling of right/wrong and a logical thinking of true/false to make their decisions. Even though an INFJ's Fe would be more inclined towards social right and an INTJ's Fi would be more inclined towards internal right (and vice versa for the T functions), a sufficiently wise person of either type should tend towards the same conclusion. That they reach that conclusion via different methods makes an INFJ/INTJ pairing all the more powerful.
To elaborate, a mature, balanced INFJ and a mature, balanced INTJ would both use a moral feeling of right/wrong and a logical thinking of true/false to make their decisions. Even though an INFJ's Fe would be more inclined towards social right and an INTJ's Fi would be more inclined towards internal right (and vice versa for the T functions), a sufficiently wise person of either type should tend towards the same conclusion. That they reach that conclusion via different methods makes an INFJ/INTJ pairing all the more powerful.
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I want to print this out and paste it in my journal. lol. Thanks WaeV for the great analysis. I think i've been thinking this all along---just I've never got the chance to string it all together and type it out like you have. YES this must be the reason why I have such a thing for INTJs...but the last INTJ guy I thought of pursuing a relationship with fell a little short because I felt he wasn't "mature enough".
I consider myself a very mature INFJ and as you say, my T and F are really balanced. In actuality, I have very strong feelings but I verify them and make sense of them and put them in check with my T. I also consider myself a very wise person for someone who's just turned 20...
It's really frustrating because I really want to be in a relationship right now but being a very mature INFJ, there isn't anyone really who seems to be at par with me...
But WaeV, you just described exactly what I'm looking for. Now, I just need to find me a mature, wise, balanced, INTJ!!!
Haha, thanks! I'd shoot you my number but I'm taken.
aww shucks!! If you have any INTJ friends just like you, let me know ;P She's one lucky girl!
Normally I'm fine with resurrecting old threads, but this is kind of ridiculous. It was started 8 years ago and died out 7 years ago. It's an interesting subject, I guess, but at this point a new one should be started instead. Quoting people from this long ago just seems wrong to me.
Hahaha I like T's they compliment my extroverted feeling. The only thing that gets in the way with INTJ and INFJ's are the fact that they are both melancholy phelgmatic which means they are very different but perfectionists.
vs
LOL I totally get this feeling - every single one of us has said/thought this at some point.
They're part of the cultural history of this place. However, I'd rather people quoted Edward Gibbon instead.
I guess that's true. I can't help but think it would be uncomfortable if people dug up my posts from five years ago.
Yep, I have.
The only thing is, this thread is about 7 years old and the "analyst" member being quoted hasn't even logged in for 6 years, so they're potentially not even in the relationship in question anymore... :/
The only thing is, this thread is about 7 years old and the "analyst" member being quoted hasn't even logged in for 6 years, so they're potentially not even in the relationship in question anymore... :/
INTJs seem to need constant sparring partner even in the romance department. However, they seem to prefer a balance of challenge and submissiveness in a partner. I'd say they seek understanding of their feelings and ideas from a partner they respect, though they don't need validation from that partner. They enjoy competitive discussion, but hate unproductive competition. They are highly independent and self motivated. However, they often shy away from stepping outside what they value for anyone.
I think compromise is harder for the INTJ because they are often certain and staunch in their judgments. They have a clear picture of what they want and how to achieve it. Anyone coming in to tell them what to do, how to feel, or what to think is not going to get very far. However, they may lose out on enjoying a strong personal and more emotionally intimate relationship with a partner because they are focused only on how things are understood to their own minds, or only on the practical or physical needs, and later neglect the emotional needs of their partner. This doesn't mean the INTJ does not have emotional depth. They just tend to be more selective about who gets to see that part of them.
INTJs seem to get their validation from within, from the logical, intuitive part of them which strategizes. They don't look outside for external validation. Rather, they look for affirmation. Unfortunately, this means when someone needs validation from them, they're reluctant to give it because it's not something they necessarily need from others to feel confident in their beliefs or decisions. They believe what they do regardless of what others think. This is likely why feelers can seem like complete fuzz balls to them, because emotions are things to be controlled, managed, and cordoned. They don't like being subject to another person's judgment. They don't see their feelings or emotions as existing for external observation or validation. In their mind, "my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are my own. No one else's. No one gets to decide if they are ok, except me."
This is what I've learned about INTJs. I have family members who are XNTJs, so I've seen this all my life.
I think compromise is harder for the INTJ because they are often certain and staunch in their judgments. They have a clear picture of what they want and how to achieve it. Anyone coming in to tell them what to do, how to feel, or what to think is not going to get very far. However, they may lose out on enjoying a strong personal and more emotionally intimate relationship with a partner because they are focused only on how things are understood to their own minds, or only on the practical or physical needs, and later neglect the emotional needs of their partner. This doesn't mean the INTJ does not have emotional depth. They just tend to be more selective about who gets to see that part of them.
INTJs seem to get their validation from within, from the logical, intuitive part of them which strategizes. They don't look outside for external validation. Rather, they look for affirmation. Unfortunately, this means when someone needs validation from them, they're reluctant to give it because it's not something they necessarily need from others to feel confident in their beliefs or decisions. They believe what they do regardless of what others think. This is likely why feelers can seem like complete fuzz balls to them, because emotions are things to be controlled, managed, and cordoned. They don't like being subject to another person's judgment. They don't see their feelings or emotions as existing for external observation or validation. In their mind, "my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are my own. No one else's. No one gets to decide if they are ok, except me."
This is what I've learned about INTJs. I have family members who are XNTJs, so I've seen this all my life.
It happens to me because I've been here wayyy too long... At least I can burn my cringey old journals and diaries...But my old posts will apparently haunt me forever...
It's just been my experience that I tend to date a lot of them and I just wish I'd picked someone with a more agreeable personality
I think you should date intjs above any other group. When they don't perform as expected simply acknowledge to yourself you must fly higher to get closer to the sun....
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
INTJ roommate.
INTJ sister.
INTJ ex.
Triple crown.
Seriously though. I do think highly of INTJs as a whole. I don't always understand them (nor do they understand me). But I feel like they're my cousins in terns of intuition and idealism. We just idealize different things.
Q: You know what I think is the best part of talking with INTJs (and other highly intuitive types)?
A: You can usually go from zero to a hundred with them (in terms of topic and discussion) and they usually don't miss a beat.
INTJ sister.
INTJ ex.
Triple crown.
Seriously though. I do think highly of INTJs as a whole. I don't always understand them (nor do they understand me). But I feel like they're my cousins in terns of intuition and idealism. We just idealize different things.
Q: You know what I think is the best part of talking with INTJs (and other highly intuitive types)?
A: You can usually go from zero to a hundred with them (in terms of topic and discussion) and they usually don't miss a beat.