[PAX] always wondering what people really think about me

hmmm..I always do this too...I know that they say one thing and mean another, but then I know I couldnt handle the real truth, because I always assume the worst...vicious cycle really...

 

Why are you always wondering what people think about you? Is it because you feel they are judging/insecurity or do you just like knowing how you come off to people (which everyone does) Or is it something else? It kinda matters (Although, from personal experience, I can tell figuring out "why" you are wondering about what people think of you can be difficult.)

 

I am too. I think it may be a product of my social anxiety (which I'm certain is a product of low self esteem begotten by a struggle with depression). I have, I think, degraded my own self worth to a point that I am convinced that since I don't even like myself, others must feel the same.
My reasoning says that this can't possibly be so since I have a fair amount of friends, but then the other part of me steps in and implies (and oh so persuasively) that they only hang around because they pity me in some way or another.
I am trying to overcome this, but it has proven to be a difficult task. Even as I write this, I wonder if I should really post it because I wonder if people will think of it. It scares me to be so vulnerable, but I want to challenge myself.

 

Quit saying what's in my mind. It's creepy.

 

your long absence has not changed our twinness...

 

I am not always wondering about that, but from time to time. I guess the reason is that it is important for me that the others don't have the wrong opinion/impression or more like I leave the right impression about me, the one that truly represents me. When they have the wrong impression about me I wonder if it is because I did/said something in the wrong way or if they understood it wrong. It is usually the second because I am very good in saying what I think/feel and thinking/feeling what I say. Yes, usually I use long sentences and detailed explanations which might confuse some but oh well, this is how I am. I've noticed that people in general don't like too smart people or people who know too much. It makes them feel uncomfortable. I am the opposite, I love people who know more than me and are smarter than me - I can learn so many things from them! I hate when I have to play stupid only because people around me don't think that being smart is a positive thing. I am sure INFJs know what I mean .......

 

I actually never thought about it 'til this thread reminded me. I tend to not wonder about this...not sure why. I guess I get sufficiently good feedback from people so that I have little cause for alarm or concern. Secondly, most of the people I know observe my outward behaviors and generally only have that to go by. Few, if any, see (or are even interested in) the underpinnings of what really makes my life go. I more frequently observe people making assumptions about me (that they have somehow pieced together or otherwise figured out) that are not accurate at all. They mean well I think.

 

Nobody plays stupid better than me

Because I am perhaps overly invested in my persona, people always assume that I am smarter than I think I am. (I present as being knowledgeable, it is important to my self esteem that I not appear dumb) When (with certain people) I am in a situation where I lack understanding or functionality, my mind starts to cloud. Insecurity complexes begin to constellate and challenge my learning functions. I get a little dizzy.

 

Yeah.

 

This is exactly my thought process, and you explained it really well.

 

I agree with all of the posts above about self-esteem. Those hit the nail on the head for me as well.

While I am working on developing a self esteem to resemble the one I had as a child, I'm sort of disturbed by what passes for 'proper self-esteem' in the adults around me. It doesn't feel healthy.

Some people I have gotten to know have opened up to me to reveal truly disturbing patterns in the opposite direction-- self-inflated and other-degraded. They seem happy and stable, but they live in a perpetual fantasy about their own worth. That doesn't strike me as healthy for any of us.

RememberIfItRained, imagine if your wish were fulfilled. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone's thought processes were advertised on their foreheads. It would be a frightening world at first, but how would it change us?

 

Unhelathy.

 

RWIR

Hey, I think everybody goes through this to some extent. And anybody who thinks everything they are is awesome, is probably a dick.

You should never be so hard on yourself. I know it's easier said than done. But, remind yourself from time to time! You're a good person. And at least here, people appreciate your intelligence.

But also, not everyone is going to like you. The more you say what's on your mind, the more you get used to the varying reactions. Some will like it, some won't. No biggie.

 

I tend to feel like this whenever I get together with a certain group of friends who all happen to be medical professionals or soon-to-be medical professionals, especially when they get around to talking shop.

 

I care about what other people say and think about me and I get paranoid.

But there are always days when I think that who the hell cares about what other people think about me?

what do they care about me?

I'm myself and if they don't like me ... THEN WHY WOULD I CARE? so what??? I wouldn't die if they don't like me

it's nice to finally accept yourself and not care about what others think.... and be able to say what you want to say without over thinking what others think about you

sometimes there are just days like these when I don't care about what they think

why should I?

it's not like they feed me.. it's not like they're the ones who give me education.... they're not my anything so why will I care?

thoughts are just thoughts and nothing more.. as long as I'm not connected to them emotionally

if I'm mad... why do I have to hide it when i HAVE a reason to be mad?

I also get tired of hiding what pain I feel inside.. I just know that someday.. I have to let it all out.. and I have to stand for whatever I feel and do.. and that involved not caring about what other people think about me

their thoughts do not make me who I am... so why in the world do I care????



tssskkkk!!!!!!