Your depth of feeling... More of a blessing or a curse? | INFJ Forum

Your depth of feeling... More of a blessing or a curse?

Depth of feeling - Blessing or Curse?

  • It's a blessing.

    Votes: 24 72.7%

  • It's a curse.

    Votes: 9 27.3%
  • Total voters
    33
Sesquipedalian

Sesquipedalian

Community Member
Feb 9, 2009
129
22
0
MBTI
INTJ
I'm from www.intjforum.com and there have been threads on there where we discuss how our gifts of intelligence and knowledge seem to be more of a curse than a blessing more often than not...

The more I get to know my INFJ the more I realize how her depth of feeling is probably miserable at times... ...to be controlled by your feelings rather than yourself... To have trouble distancing yourself from emotionally charged situations and they way you absorb others' feelings in an almost magnetic, sponge-like way.

I was wondering... As those inclined toward feeling, would you say your depth of feeling tends more to be a blessing or a curse?
 
Last edited:
I love it and hate it at times. You need a balance and at times it can cripple you. I just cant imagine being any other way and taking the good with the bad is just a part of life.
 
You should add a few new radio buttons: Both, Neither, and Sometimes. :D It all applies.
 
I used to hate being controlled by things. As a child, emotions controlled me... So, I threw them away. I started getting too smart for my own age and could look at all the possibilities of a single situation. Things started scaring me because I knew all of the bad outcomes. I started cursing my own knowledge.

Now, I've learned to not give a fuck and embrace my intellect. Emotions, well... I still feel(Kinda) them but I completely blow dicks at paying attention to them and showing them. I don't hate the fact that, in my naive way of thinking, I snuffed out my own feelings. It was a time of growing for me; even if that direction wasn't right. At least I learned and I'm trying to get more connected.

But I'm not as emotional as most of you in the first place. So, I don't know how you all feel about your own growth.
 
For me it does, because it depends. It can be a blessing when I'm trying to help someone. It can be a curse when I'm frustrated at myself for doing something foolish. It can be neither when I'm reading a book or seeing a movie and not paying attention to how I'm feeling (I'm simply "experiencing"). It can be both when I'm helping someone and I'm frustrated at them at the same time, because I know the truth - and I know they're getting there but not getting it. Which I guess is the same as saying "Sometimes", too.
 
arbygil said:
For me it does, because it depends. It can be a blessing when I'm trying to help someone. It can be a curse when I'm frustrated at myself for doing something foolish. It can be neither when I'm reading a book or seeing a movie and not paying attention to how I'm feeling (I'm simply "experiencing"). It can be both when I'm helping someone and I'm frustrated at them at the same time, because I know the truth - and I know they're getting there but not getting it. Which I guess is the same as saying "Sometimes", too.
Click to expand...


exactly :)
 
arbygil said:
For me it does, because it depends. It can be a blessing when I'm trying to help someone. It can be a curse when I'm frustrated at myself for doing something foolish. It can be neither when I'm reading a book or seeing a movie and not paying attention to how I'm feeling (I'm simply "experiencing"). It can be both when I'm helping someone and I'm frustrated at them at the same time, because I know the truth - and I know they're getting there but not getting it. Which I guess is the same as saying "Sometimes", too.
Click to expand...
Ditto (#3)...reminds me of something I was thinking about a month or so ago, on how INFJs seem to have this handle (whether we want it or not) to sometimes get a good understanding of people's motivations for their actions...even the less savory ones.
 
Well, I always follow my emotions and feelings when I have to make some kind of decision, so I consider it a blessing... even if the outcome doesn't turn out good.
I see it as a blessing because... I wouldn't be me if I didn't follow my feelings.
 
Although it hurts sometimes, I view it as a blessing...

My feelings have never led me astray - not when I truly listened to them at least. While it might have hurt at the moment, it turned out to be much better.
The problem I tend to run into is "feeling" other people... If someone who I am close to is sad, upset, angry, etc etc etc I tend to pick up on that and react also. While this is good sometimes, it can lead to a lot of problems too. As I've gotten older I've learned to 'tune out' what I don't need to react to and can be a bit more objective about things.
 
I would say it is more of a blessing that curse. It helps me understand the world around me and myself. I really don't know how I would fuction without feelings or trying to brush them aside. But hey that is how my brain works.
 
It's neither, it's something you have and you have to, as I've heard twice before on this forum "own". Does it suck sometimes yeah, is it awesome sometimes, hell yeah, but I don't view it any worse or better then anything else.
 
I've had periods in my life where I've lost touch with my depth of feeling. I have a strong Ti, and when I get stressed, a lot of time I find that I get lost in intellectual logic.
It's so empty. I don't like feeling disconnected in that way. Sure, I'm still disconnected as an emotional INFJ, but at least then, there's passion; there's drive....

I'd rather love the world and have that love slowly break my heart, than break the world apart logically until the pointlessness of the world wilts me away to nothing....
 
It's a blessing because it is ME, my depth of feelings are a part of ME! This is who I am and I'm proud of it. I wouldn't trade that for anything; even when my feelings turn me into something ugly--it's still me. Without those moments, I couldn't learn from them.
 
I put only two options for a reason ;). I wanted everyone's overall perspective on what their emotions are to them. Are they more often a blessing, or more often a curse? It can only be one or the other ultimately.
 
Sesquipedalian said:
I put only two options for a reason ;). I wanted everyone's overall perspective on what their emotions are to them. Are they more often a blessing, or more often a curse? It can only be one or the other ultimately.
Click to expand...

Lol! You're such a T-ease...;)
 
Well, like other people have stated, having an immense aptitude for feeling---i'd like to also put in, sensitivity--- is a double-edged sword. Because of this, you've to be aware of how much feeling you've got and use it in positive light.

For me, I know that i'm really sensitive, not exactly the same thing as feeling---more the ability to feel strongly. There are many negatives to this---being hurt easily, drawing yourself away from others or society, intensely feeling the pain, darkness of the world, and being really abstract. But at the same time, I feel like my way of thinking and perception is a gift. Because of my sensitivity, I have this intense passion to help others and the world, something really genuine that much of the world doesn't have and needs. This sensitivity has also made me really strong to protect that inside. We also tend to see beauty easier than others I think---being able to see and feel things others can't really see is a gift.

We have lots of potential to help others, make the world brighter, understand complex things and such... But sure, some days I just wish I was "normal"---but after those moments, I realize how I (and we) should NEVER wish that...
 
I decided to be brutally honest and declare it a curse, since I only had the two options.

Honestly, I think I'd be a lot happier if I could tone it down, even just a little.

Clearly I wouldn't be "me" without this level of feeling, but I think I would be happier if I felt a little less sharply about a whole bunch of things. But again, this is merely speculation. Maybe I wouldn't be happier after all. But then again, maybe I wouldn't obsess about whether... ugh. Nevermind.

*shrug*
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back