you see?

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I feel all alone even when people try to help me.

I have felt alone when I was cuddled with girlfriends...

 

I have a great many things on this list...and I see others with it and it seems better than mine...and still I feel alone...

 

I have always felt alone because well, I have never really had anybody even come close to, only my parents which they rebuke me all the time so..yeah..sometimes you can feel very empty.

 

This is another thing like True Love. True Connection is an emotional power that can only exist if the conditions are met.
Commitment. Faith. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Required for Love.
And Love is required for Connection.

How many people can do it really?

 

Wow.

I feel like you've described my situation perfectly. A little creepy actually.

I don't quite know why I feel this way. I guess I've always felt out of place...the odd one out. The middle child with the insecurity issues. The self-doubting middle child born to two unbelievably confident parents, the misunderstood sibling of 5 overwhelmingly bright souls that seem to command attention and praise.

So yes, I do often feel alone...

 

it wouldn't bother me all that much, it might even be liberating. being completely uncared for would remind you how free you truly are.

 

I was gonna quote, but there's too many so I'll just say this to all the posters here and Soulseeker: you are ALL great people and hopefully by being on this forum and sharing you feel a little bit less alone, I know I do. Group hug and keep looking for the S/M!! :grouphug:

 

Soulseeker, and anyone that feels this way,

You deserve everything that you ever hope and dream about. That includes love and belonging. Don't you dare let on that you doubt, even for a second, that you will find that which you desire most. Because I desperately believe that you will. There's beauty and strength in all of you and if you open your hearts to opportunity, there is nothing you can't accomplish, nothing you can't gain.

Someday, someone or indeed, someones, will notice that amazing person you are. But before anyone does, I think its important that you all realize that same truth yourselves.

It breaks my heart to hear that there are so many of you that feel so lonely I wish I could make you see that you're anything but.

 

Yep. A few times. But you are not alone.

 

you think you are alone but you are not
you feel that you are unloved but you ARE loved
you see smiles everywhere but you don't see that they are smiling at you

Me too, I have felt so alone even when I was surrounded with people who love me. I couldn't see that they where there for me even if they were standing right in front of me. There where so many people around me that loved me, but it felt as it was never enough.

I believe this feeling of being alone even when you are huged by your friends, comes from a lag of self-love or self-confidence.
I have times that my inner self is very insecure and that I feel like I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and that nobody likes me. I felt like there was a very deep well inside of me, and even all the love in the world is not enough to fill that well.

so my answer to this problem is, love yourself! There is nothing about yourself that you should change or doubt. There is no one in this world who can tell you what to do or who to be. Only you can say that, only you knows what is right for you, knows your path. And don't try to fill your well with love, acceptance and approval from the world outside of you, because that will never be enough. Only you can fill that well. And when you do so, when you love and accept yourself, than you're able of perceive and acknowledge the love of others.

 

well we still have these forums, don't we? I'd be lost long ago without this!

 

I read a very, very old quote some time back, it reminds me of this poem. Not sure if it applies, so forgive me if it doesn't....

A friend (a fairly famous guy) was writing to another friend discussing various talents and gifts in life and after this entire discussion he said, "Now you may be sad because you might say to yourself, 'I don't have any of these things'....but I will tell you a great secret. If you seek to walk in love, you will have everything."

Now this was a bombshell, at least for me. It inverted all my logic and turned my thoughts, not to the parts, but to the whole that gives to the parts any real meaning.

No matter what our personality type, maybe we can all try to take tiny steps to be loving right where we are. Maybe that is what can enkindle our truest humanity, and the rest may come to matter not quite so much.

Just a theory...

 

Some of the elements of the opening post are irrelevant to whether someone would be deemed "alone" or not.

For example:

It is actually quite possible to achieve success and accomplishments while still being in a state of "aloneness".


Why am I bringing this point up? Well, the opening post is conveying the state of "aloneness" to be worse than it necessarily is. One can experience a few of the elements while still being "alone", and the final lines stating that one is alone if all the above are not experienced, is implying, to some degree, that they are all requirements to be alone (i.e: "if you are alone, you are all the above"), which I am stating is not necessarily the case.

 

I've gotten to the point that I realize that I AM always alone. I walk beside others, I interact, etc, but even in my most intimate situations, it's me alone. I think this is just the way it is. I think we are all alone, and need to accept that. We can only truly depend on ourselves, we can only truly be responsible for ourselves, and our feelings. It's not a bad thing, it's just something that 'is.'

 

I tried to see and felt like you described. Now the result is different to me, i am watching myself there.

My heart, you have these all things, because i can see and can believe in it!

 

The 'aloneness' is an awful illusion. You are not. Everone who responded and wrote on this thread I could identify with your response. I have felt alone in my life, desperately so. Now that I am healing I dont feel like that anymore. There is a lack of intimacy in the world that creates this sense. But we are not and that is evident from this forum.

I wonder if it is a INFJ thing?

 

Sookie, you know very well one thing. You can feel whatever you want.