Would you let a person live in denial if it made them happy? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Would you let a person live in denial if it made them happy?

If they were stubborn they probably wouldn't believe me anyway.
No. Living in denial is not true happiness. If they continued to live in denial after I told them that they were living in denial, I'd would most likely discontinue our relationship.
The problem comes in that no one stands completely alone; we are all a part of society

If one person was convinced that they were a frog that would not be too harmful to society.

If the idea started spreading and more people started thinking they were frogs, which then harmed society, then i think that is a problem

Why might it be a problem if lots of people started thinking they were frogs? Because unfortunatley there are always some people who know that they are not frogs and who want, for whatever reason, to exploit the rest of the people.

If the people think they are frogs, they will not see the injusticies that are being done to them

It is very important that people are aware that first of all there are people trying to exploit them and that secondly they are not frogs
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No. Living in denial is not true happiness.

And living in reality is? One can only reach happiness through delusion, at least to some extent.

It's none of my business what this frog person wants to believe, i'd give him my opinion if he asked for it or if it seemed helpful, otherwise I probably would simply get away from him if his irrationality got on my nerves.
And living in reality is? One can only reach happiness through delusion, at least to some extent.

It's none of my business what this frog person wants to believe, i'd give him my opinion if he asked for it or if it seemed helpful, otherwise I probably would simply get away from him if his irrationality got on my nerves.

I'd wager that living in reality is better than living in a conjured opinion (At least, our perception of reality, that is) and could you explain why one can only reach happiness through delusion?

Note: I tend to see happiness as contentment (That might affect you post, depending on what you mean by happiness)
It's funny that the first thing that comes to mind to me is "reality ain't shit". I've pondered alot about these sorts of things. I'd flip my personality to INFP if I could. Whether or not something is real, it's all in your head anyways. It makes no difference whether or not that coffee you're drinking is actually coffee or if it is in fact a glass of water. If it's coffee to you, you enjoy it the same.

Another example: painkillers. If you have a killer headache, WOULD YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE "REALITY"? Or would you like to lie to yourself about how it really feels?

So hell yeah if there's no long term consequences let 'em be delusional. There usually are long-term consequences though.
ahahaha I kind of live in denial to forget about my problems... and so I'm able to hide my emotions but then I remember to always remember what I really feel

so, my friends don't really notice it

but.. if I had a friend who does this then.. maybe I will let her deny as long as she won't get confused and end up being a totally different person or something
I would if it's not something that's hurting them. Denial is a coping mechanism, so when I see someone living in denial my initial reaction is to ponder why they feel the need to do so, and then go to thinking if I should say something or not.

I do have some experience with it since my grandmother had Alzheimer's and I had an opportunity to see what happens to them when someone trys to violently shake them off back to reality. I'm much more gentler with people in denial even if they are not ill at all, since then.
If "frog" means the same thing to both of us, sure, maybe. I've never really observed a frog do much more than hop around and make funny noises, so I don't really see why it would matter. Also, it could be amusing.

But I guess it depends on the situation. I mean, sometimes you just think you're a frog, and other times it can be a defense mechanism. I'd have to consider what's at stake, if I felt it would even be possible to convince them otherwise and that reality wasn't so bad, if I felt I was even qualified to help them... because thinking you're a frog is so beyond what I can comprehend.


This is difficult for me to answer, because I grew up listening to boybands and thinking I was going to legit. marry Greg Raposo one day. But I've also always sort of believed in dual realities; I know when something I believe in is delusion, but I still halfway believe it, anyway. It's the source of most of my idealism. (I can't have it all, I know, but I still believe I can and that the same is true for everyone else.)

So I repeat ... it all depends on the nuance of the situation.

Edit: I should also mention that it's been my career goal for quite some time to go into music marketing, which perpetuates false hopes in certain genres, at least.
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For example, if they were convinced they were a frog, and protested loudly to anyone who tried to convince them otherwise, and seemed pretty damn happy thinking they're a frog, would you just let them be or would you feel compelled to correct them?
I would correct them, if it's something objective that can be proven and measured undeniably, and is not dynamic.

I would be more selective, careful and hesitant otherwise, which is most of the cases, when it's about a person. Personalities, and even bodies, are dynamic systems, which undergo change, and are influenced very much by what they are told. Objective truth and measurement is then a deceptive illusion. Like if you measure a sinusoid at just one moment of time, and claim it's constant, at that same value. Truth is not just truth, it depends on settings, measures, time, reference, frames. It tends to be so relative, that it requires very special approaches, in order to reduce personal bias.

In general, I tend to have this flaw of being extremely honest, to the point of hurting people. It's because I don't perceive many of the things I say as negative. Most social ideals are derogatory, because they assume impossible goals, and leave most people upset. I do not subscribe to those ideals usually, and don't view deviation from them as negative.
There was one episode from Ally McBeal, I think there was one woman who wanted to be euthanased because she felt happiest in her dreams. So there is some ethical dilema in this, where other people's life is involved. It isn't always the most important if somebody is happy, but in this case, if somebody think he is a frog, I let him be. There's nothing wrong with it in my opinion.

I never argue with dementia patients at work, if they tell me they are waiting for their mother to take them to school...

But that is just regarding dementia. I guess it depends on the context. If you are thinking along the lines on the average person with some form of cognitive distortion, it can be more isolating for them, to be argued with about what they believe. Sometimes it pays to just let people be who they are, and just be there for them; awareness is comforting to everybody.
It depends on the situation but probably I would let them live in denial.
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I would too. If it's not hurting anyone, and they're happy, then I'm ok with someone thinking they're a frog. It probably beats reality anyway, plus I've never been ok with doing something for someone else's own good. It always seems to me, like who am I to judge what's best for that person? I'm not their mom. If this were my own child, things might be different.
for me, it all depends on the situation. trite, and noncommittal i know, but it really does
if i did not love them and they were well, yes. if I loved them and they were well, no
Have to agree with Aposletizer (sp?). I don't really let anyone new in these days because I have faith in no one; but those I have in the past: I'd feel obliged to correct due to a sense of duty.
For me, it would depend.

If by letting them know, making them unhappy, they could grow and become more of what I thought they wanted to be (and had confidence that I understood what that was) I would. For example, if I had a friend who kept dating "evil bitches", and always got hurt, and started dating another "evil bitch" while saying how good she was for him, I would tell him he was being an idiot.

On the other hand, if they couldn't grow, then I wouldn't. For example, if I had a 3 year old son dieing of cancer, I would not only tell them there was a Heaven, I'd also tell stories about all of the neat creatures there and how much fun it would be when they got there, even though I don't believe a word of it.
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