When do you feel most connected with someone?
- Thread starter Altruistic Muse
- Start date
I feel most connected to my bf when we have an extended amount of time to spend together. From the moment I roll in the door, it's like making love, whether we are sharing a meal or stretched out on the couch, my feet in his lap, watching "Bill Moyer's Journal," or going grocery shopping together. Even when he's busy in the other room and I'm reading in bed, there's a sense of connectedness in being apart, knowing it's okay, even important, to have the freedom to pursue separate activities and come together again. I feel connected the whole time and there's a sense of ease I've never had with anyone else. Yes, there's a strong spiritual connection when we actually do make love, but it's an extension of the time spent together before and after.
There are two aspects to this. The obvious, being in close physical contact with one other person - holding hands, kissing, cuddling. Then there are the times when I am alone, or lost in a crowd and suddenly feel overwhelmed by a feeling of love, closeness to everybody, connectedness. It's sheer ecstasy and maybe even a better feeling than physical intimacy.
I feel most close to someone if I feel absolutely at ease with them. I don't realize just how guarded I am around people until I can be with those people where I don't have to second-guess my words or actions -- and it doesn't have to be sexual, but physical intimacy helps. If I feel comfortable being close to that person, then there is a real connection -- I feel most connected alone with that person, close to them, and whether or not we're talking doesn't matter that much.
I connect most when people let themselves be vulnerable around me. It amps up my protectiveness HARDCORE. The problem is most people have no interest in being vulnerable and half of the ones that do are just using it be manipulative. Which makes me a bit of a hypocrite, because I don't really share myself with people either. I'm candid as hell, but there's still a part that I don't share with anyone.
S
Shai Gar
Shai- When you stop trying to impregnate the whole damn forum. It's a bit counter-productive of your erghhhhGENOCIDE!! approach, boss.
It's okay... I've got something for that.
Letting myself be open in complete emotional honesty and feeling comfortable as a real and dynamic person instead of a collection of one-dimensional, artificial, idealised personas. And then having them reciprocate or or least not call out for the Orderlies.
Maybe it's just because I'm a musician, but when it's just me and someone else letting our guards down and making something that is completely honest, I feel completely connected. I can't really explain it in words, maybe someone else knows what I'm talking about?
I've spent most of my life with intangible connections to people. I will notice someone with whom I know I could share a friendship or an intimate relationship and it never came to being. I'll work to understand various people from a distance. When younger I would place many people on pedestals. I have rarely been able to connect, but spent my young life and most of my overall life feeling starkly isolated, but not out of a desire to be disconnected. Even my longest term relationship consisted of me feeling more attached to him than he to me. It turned out he struggled to feel any romantic connection whatsoever.
Because of this, it is the person who wants me the most that I feel most connected to. If a person can feel disappointed for my not being with them, it means a great deal to me. It has to do with a sense of personal significance to someone else.
Because of this, it is the person who wants me the most that I feel most connected to. If a person can feel disappointed for my not being with them, it means a great deal to me. It has to do with a sense of personal significance to someone else.
