What is the purpose of marriage?
- Thread starter Satya
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I don't believe unconditional love exists. Not even a mothers love for her children. Although that is probably the one that hardest to breach. But it's happened.
Humans are too self absorbed to truly meet the criteria of 'unconditional'.
But the appearence of unconditional can be made if both partners know to the dotted 'i' and crossed 't' what the others boundries are. And they don't cross them.
Humans are too self absorbed to truly meet the criteria of 'unconditional'.
But the appearence of unconditional can be made if both partners know to the dotted 'i' and crossed 't' what the others boundries are. And they don't cross them.
S
Shai Gar
I agree with Pandagirl. With everything she said.
Except that romantic love is fleeting. i'm an idealistic rational
Except that romantic love is fleeting. i'm an idealistic rational
ShaiGar said:
I think there are different definitions of "romantic love." I guess most people think of romantic love as passion and feeling that rush, etc. But I can find romance in the little things, like someone remembering how I take my coffee or buying my my favorite ice cream on the way home from work. Those things are more meaningful to me!
As for unconditional love, I do believe it exists. Just depends on the capacity of that person.
It's weird, my definition of love and relationships has changed so much as I've gotten older. I used to be into the whole notion of being IN LOVE, the rush, the longing... But my priorities have changed. Love is a choice, not a whim. I can no longer base my feelings for someone else solely on *emotions."
alcyone said:
I believe it does exist, although it is completely irrational and could be ultimately damaging to the giver. To me loving someone without asking anything in return is simple behaviour even for selfish humans, if you want to, you just do it. Depends on your definition of love though I suppose.
edit: and whether you belive humans are capable of being genuinely altruistic.
Interesting I believe in unconditional love and yet I do not think anyone is truly altruistic.... hmm, is that a conflict in its self?Stone said:
Unconditional love does not need to present itself in physical terms and asks nothing in return, it is not romantic love although the two can co-exist. There are people I love unconditionally without doubt.
All religious views aside, marriage has two purposes: false security and tax breaks. The latter reason is enough for me, though I do not agree with the government policy that provides it.
There was a time when the bond of marriage was a significant factor in longevity of a relationship, but these days it means little. Divorces are easily obtained, and annulments are successful even after children are produced. Marriage can discourage divorce for those who cannot afford the legal costs, but that has little to do with the interpersonal relationship. It mainly provides false security when members in a marriage assume that their partners were genuine when they gave their vows of lifelong commitment. People in love very commonly assume such things, and usually they cannot be blamed, given the potent chemicals involved. In about half of marriages, at least one of the members finds he or she was badly mistaken.
So why marry at all? If the tax breaks do not matter enough, I can't provide a very good reason aside from morality. If you do marry, though, get a prenup!
Well, we'll soon put an end to that! Romantic love most certainly is fleeting, unless you consider 6-12 months long-term. It's simple biology. Long-term attachment is another matter.
There was a time when the bond of marriage was a significant factor in longevity of a relationship, but these days it means little. Divorces are easily obtained, and annulments are successful even after children are produced. Marriage can discourage divorce for those who cannot afford the legal costs, but that has little to do with the interpersonal relationship. It mainly provides false security when members in a marriage assume that their partners were genuine when they gave their vows of lifelong commitment. People in love very commonly assume such things, and usually they cannot be blamed, given the potent chemicals involved. In about half of marriages, at least one of the members finds he or she was badly mistaken.
So why marry at all? If the tax breaks do not matter enough, I can't provide a very good reason aside from morality. If you do marry, though, get a prenup!
ShaiGar said:
Well, we'll soon put an end to that!
Romantic love most certainly is fleeting, unless you consider 6-12 months long-term. It's simple biology. Long-term attachment is another matter.
S
Shai Gar
it can easily be reproduced in an eternal cycle.Duke of York said:ShaiGar said:
Well, we'll soon put an end to that!
S
Shai Gar
by understanding that while love isn't fleeting, relationships are, and one constantly needs to rethink the desire, and spend the same amount of attention, or more, in wooing her your entire life.
I've been seeing my parents do that for 25 years.
I've been seeing my parents do that for 25 years.
S
Shai Gar
I believe the purpose of marriage, legal or not, is, ideally, an ultimate commitment to the healthy and mutually nurturing continuation of an already well-established relationship. Hmmm. Wonder if I could've made that sentence any longer! I also believe that the existent love needs to be constantly reestablished and reaffirmed in order to make the marriage at least somewhat successful. The rest is up to mutual effort, ability to not just compromise but to give up what you want for someone else simply because it would make them happier, and absolute unswerving fidelity. As far as I'm concerned, there is no acceptable excuse to either cheat or be cheated on. I also agree that, as far as today's society is concerned, marriage is a convenient social passtime, if not an all-out joke, especially, it seems to me, where women are concerned. It just seems like so many women get married, after spending thousands more than necessary on a day they've made exclusively about them instead of their commitment, then bitch and whine when their husband wants or needs anything from them. But that's a whole other rant for another thread.
Well said, Chenoa. I think it varies from person to person honestly.
Maybe that's one of the keys to a lasting marraige...making sure you are on the same page about what you believe marraige actually is.
For me, personally, I could never see at as a legal security blanket type thing. I can see how some people would do that, but ick...for me it'd be like those hipsters who wear glasses with the lenses popped out. I suppose it's cool externally but what in the world is the point?
Maybe that's one of the keys to a lasting marraige...making sure you are on the same page about what you believe marraige actually is.
For me, personally, I could never see at as a legal security blanket type thing. I can see how some people would do that, but ick...for me it'd be like those hipsters who wear glasses with the lenses popped out. I suppose it's cool externally but what in the world is the point?
The purpose of marriage is to bind one another together in love. To help eachother perfect themselves and stay on the path that will lead them to the most happiness. However, I think the main purpose of marriage is to have children and raise them up in a loving environment and teach them correct principles and prepare them for the world of tomorrow to start the same cycle. This quest will be done no better then with man and woman working side by side. Women have qualities and roles that man cannot fill. Nor can women fill the qualities and roles that men have. Hense why it's important to have one of each, a man and a woman.
Welcome to the forum, but I have to disagree. There are no "qualities" that one gender possesses that the other does not, unless you count sexual anatomy. Roles are socially constructed, and both genders may fulfill each role. Your thinking is very traditionalist, but really humans are more flexible than that.
I'd also argue that marriage isn't really about love and happiness, but those things are subjective (so I can't).
I used to have really romantic feelings on the subject, but these days... not so much. I wouldn't get married ever unless I had a child with someone and even then it would only be about solidifying the family under 1 name and legal entity to make things easier.
me and my husband are perfect for each other.
he's INFP and i'm INFJ (but we just found out recently)
we argue and fight sometimes of course
but we're each other best friends, and we make each other happy and we can't imagine life with anyone else
our life has had a vast improvement since we're together
now for the difference between living together and getting married those are bureaucratic social differences
he's INFP and i'm INFJ (but we just found out recently)
we argue and fight sometimes of course
but we're each other best friends, and we make each other happy and we can't imagine life with anyone else
our life has had a vast improvement since we're together
now for the difference between living together and getting married those are bureaucratic social differences