S
What is the ideal age to have kids?
- Thread starter Gaze
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here comes santa with some human babies in a sackp.s. on topic: age is not objective measure about people, and as a P, i consider kids should come natural, not too planned. in any case, the age for kids is raising.
I don't know. I'm 34, almost 35, and female. I must say I have had that whole 'ticking biological clock' thing, but my reason always comes to the fore. If I were to have children, would I really want them to have to deal with Depression or Diabetes (huge things in my family - no one has escaped it in generations). What about epilepsy like my dad? What about Schizophrenia like my mom had? What about dying in our 50's and 60's? Could I 'lock up' a child of mine in an institution if they became a danger to themselves or others?
I love kids. I love being an auntie, and will babysit any time. Sometimes I can hold someone else's child and want so badly to have one of my own. But I haven't had children yet... and I probably never will. True love, for me, is sacrificing this 'need' I feel to have children so that they won't have to suffer like I have, or like the rest of my family has.
I know it's weird thinking, but it is truly what I think when I think about it. I think I would be a great mom, and could give a lot to children of my own, but I know that life is hard, and their own genetics would most likely work against them somehow.
I am thinking, however, of adopting older children out of foster care like I was. Not immediately, but when my bf is ready too.
Even if I die young like everyone else has, at least I would be giving them love and a good family.
I love kids. I love being an auntie, and will babysit any time. Sometimes I can hold someone else's child and want so badly to have one of my own. But I haven't had children yet... and I probably never will. True love, for me, is sacrificing this 'need' I feel to have children so that they won't have to suffer like I have, or like the rest of my family has.
I know it's weird thinking, but it is truly what I think when I think about it. I think I would be a great mom, and could give a lot to children of my own, but I know that life is hard, and their own genetics would most likely work against them somehow.
I am thinking, however, of adopting older children out of foster care like I was. Not immediately, but when my bf is ready too.
Even if I die young like everyone else has, at least I would be giving them love and a good family.
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It's not a good idea to rush, but when you're ready, you're ready, I don't think it should be delayed if you're ready. There's this misconception that getting married and having kids takes away your freedom. It doesn't take away your freedom if getting married and having kids is part of what you want for yourself. Of course you have to be selfless at times but that doesn't necessarily mean that it takes away your freedom. It's all about prioritizing what's important to you. For example, my education and my career are very important to me, but starting a family is even more important to me. It's one of my dreams, despite what my friends/family think about it. However, right now I'm focusing on school and soon my career because I haven't found mr. right yet, nor am I rushing to find him. When I find mr. right and we decide to have kids, I would like to put a pause on my career and what not in order to fulfill my dream of starting a family. People might see that as old fashioned. I think its rather smart as long as you're being true to yourself and you and your significant other are ready. I really would rather have my children at a younger age (not very young but I wouldn't delay it once i want it and i'm ready for it).
I don't see myself getting married until I'm at least in my mid-late twenties,
and kids would probably come a few years afterwards.
and kids would probably come a few years afterwards.
It might sound funny to some, but I wanted to have the children whom I loved even when I was a child myself...
for me, having them, was just a chance to finally hold them in the flesh and blood.
I guess I just always wanted them, even tho I'm not the stereotypical 38 yr old mom... I wanted'em because I knew I could give them all the love they wanted, and I was missing a part of life that felt so natural somehow; always felt like a mom anyways to everyone around me. (or a guide of some sort if that makes sense).
for me, having them, was just a chance to finally hold them in the flesh and blood.
I guess I just always wanted them, even tho I'm not the stereotypical 38 yr old mom... I wanted'em because I knew I could give them all the love they wanted, and I was missing a part of life that felt so natural somehow; always felt like a mom anyways to everyone around me. (or a guide of some sort if that makes sense).
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I would think the best time to start having kids would be between 25-35. Children are less likely to be born with defects the younger I am when I have them, however I wouldn't want to have them too early either as there is much I'd want to do with my life before I take on such responsibilities. So I think the 25-35 mark seems like a good medium.
I think below 25 is generally too young for people to be having kids these days anyway, people have a lot of growing up to do and 20 years is not enough.
I think below 25 is generally too young for people to be having kids these days anyway, people have a lot of growing up to do and 20 years is not enough.
I said late thirties. Because personally, I don't plan on ever getting knocked up. But when I own my own home and have a good steady career, I plan on being a foster mother and perhaps adopting as many children as I can.
I think the real question is: "Why does it matter?" Does having a child at a ripe 25 guarantee that child's happiness in life? Does having a child at a mature 40 doom a child to a life of misery?" Who's to say that having a child later in life automatically means you won't relate to your children. Some older folks are young at heart, and some young people are old souls. I know for myself, as a child I loved hanging with my great-grandmother and great aunts--I'm an old soul. My mother had me at 26, and she preferred hanging out with my teenage cousins--she was young at heart. I could never relate much to my mother, but could always relate to my great-grandmother and great aunts.
What I care most about is: "Am I in a loving and strong relationship to welcome a child into?" This is my ideal. But whether I have a child at 25 or 45 isn't.
What I care most about is: "Am I in a loving and strong relationship to welcome a child into?" This is my ideal. But whether I have a child at 25 or 45 isn't.
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It depends on different factors..it's not age but for me is..
1. Maturitiy
2. A secure Job/ good economic shape
those are the 2 most important factors.
1. Maturitiy
2. A secure Job/ good economic shape
those are the 2 most important factors.
I kind of wondered that myself, Slant, but I think the assumption is if you're going to have kids, what's the ideal age.
I was in my mid- to late thirties when I had my kids. Earlier might be ideal, but I didn't feel ready before the age of 36 to have my first and the second came along as a very nice surprise 18 months later. I guess basically I don't believe there's an ideal age; rather, it depends on your own sense of emotional readiness. Some my never feel ready or want children and that's certainly all right too.
Question Raccoon, so if you're mature at 15 and are in a good economic position, should you have kids?
I don't know. I'm 34, almost 35, and female. I must say I have had that whole 'ticking biological clock' thing, but my reason always comes to the fore. If I were to have children, would I really want them to have to deal with Depression or Diabetes (huge things in my family - no one has escaped it in generations). What about epilepsy like my dad? What about Schizophrenia like my mom had? What about dying in our 50's and 60's? Could I 'lock up' a child of mine in an institution if they became a danger to themselves or others?
I love kids. I love being an auntie, and will babysit any time. Sometimes I can hold someone else's child and want so badly to have one of my own. But I haven't had children yet... and I probably never will. True love, for me, is sacrificing this 'need' I feel to have children so that they won't have to suffer like I have, or like the rest of my family has.
I know it's weird thinking, but it is truly what I think when I think about it. I think I would be a great mom, and could give a lot to children of my own, but I know that life is hard, and their own genetics would most likely work against them somehow.
I am thinking, however, of adopting older children out of foster care like I was. Not immediately, but when my bf is ready too.
Moxie, this is true love. Back when I had my kids, the genetic component of schizophrenia wan't as well understood as it is today. I even went to a geneticist (age-related), who told me my grandmother's schizophrenia was "too far back" in my family tree to affect my kids. So I have a 23-year-old son with schizoaffective disorder and yes, he suffers, though not as much as some because he had early intervention and excellent care. He is an amazing young man and I feel somehow he's here for a reason, though I have no idea what that is.
Had I known then what I know now, I probably wouldn't have had kids either, but there's this selfish part of me that is glad I've been blessed with knowing my son and learning all the things he's taught me about life.
So, if you are 15, mature, and not economically dependent on someone else, should you have kids?
ideally yes, giving the way society is currently shaped, not likely to happen. As to be emancipated at the age of 15, you need to proof that you can maintain yourself economically, high-paying secure jobs are almost never available for someone who is 15 years of age, and most kids at that age lack the maturity to do so which is why you don't see such thing in society.
A lot of this subject has to do with your financial situation and flexibility in time.
Due to this reason early 20's isn't practical as people are often starting to break through into their careers or even getting one started; having a child at this time would cause pain and suffering to the parent and the child.
Depending on how successful a person is, I would say anywhere from late 20's to early 30's.
Due to this reason early 20's isn't practical as people are often starting to break through into their careers or even getting one started; having a child at this time would cause pain and suffering to the parent and the child.
Depending on how successful a person is, I would say anywhere from late 20's to early 30's.
Mid 20s.
It's far less healthy to have kids once you get into your 30s. There are far more dangers and risks involved, and it's more likely that the baby will be born with defects, attention or learning disorders, etc....
And I want to have my kids young enough that I can know my grandchildren and go to their weddings and such.
Of course....first I need to find someone to have kids with......crap........
It's far less healthy to have kids once you get into your 30s. There are far more dangers and risks involved, and it's more likely that the baby will be born with defects, attention or learning disorders, etc....
And I want to have my kids young enough that I can know my grandchildren and go to their weddings and such.
Of course....first I need to find someone to have kids with......crap........