What is the ideal age to have kids? | INFJ Forum

What is the ideal age to have kids?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Dec 22, 2009.

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  1. Late teens

    2 vote(s)
    3.4%
  2. Early 20s

    1 vote(s)
    1.7%
  3. Mid 20s

    11 vote(s)
    18.6%
  4. Late 20s

    19 vote(s)
    32.2%
  5. Early 30s

    13 vote(s)
    22.0%
  6. Mid 30s

    4 vote(s)
    6.8%
  7. Late 30s

    1 vote(s)
    1.7%
  8. Early 40s

    1 vote(s)
    1.7%
  9. Mid 40s

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  10. Late 40s

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  11. Early to mid 50s

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  12. Late 50s and beyond

    2 vote(s)
    3.4%
  13. I don't know

    5 vote(s)
    8.5%
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  1. Gaze

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    So, what is the ideal age to have kids? Why?




    I'll add a poll
     
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  2. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Do you mean ideal biologically, sociologically, religiously, etc?

    I don't know biologically, but my guess would be around 25. I personally, if I decide to have kids, will probably aim for late 20s early 30s. Ideally in my opinion, you'll have been married for several years and have enjoyed each others company for that time before you have kids. So get married 22-27ish.

    Of course, I have friends my age (19) who are married and pregnant. I find it kind of shocking, but some people like to get started early I guess. I would never want to have a child until I felt secure enough that I'd be able to support it.
     
  3. Roger

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    I am 20 yrs old, but I am thinking when I will marry to my girlfriend, we will think to have kids between 26-30. I think this is most preferred age for couple.
     
  4. bs98r3kjf

    bs98r3kjf Well-known member

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    Mid twenties I would say. But it all depends on so many different factors for each couple. Mid twenties is what I would personally like for myself, but again it also depends on my significant other.
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
  5. bamf

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    My friends are getting married, some have kids on the way, some have kids already.

    If I get married someday, I'd want to spend at least a few years with my wife before we started a family. Once you have kids you can't (reasonably) un-have them. Those first few years as a married couple are too exciting and full of potential for me to want to have kids right away. Ideally, I'd start a family around 30.
     
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  6. OP
    Gaze

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    I think mid 20s is reasonable. I always think of it this way - by the time i'm 40, my children would be teens, and by 50s, they'd be in their early 20s. I would feel better having kids younger than older.
     
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  7. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    maybe like 27-31... because i think 20-25 is too young and 32 and above is a bit old.. it would be hard if you and your children have like a wide age gap.. like my parents.. they married around 27 and my mom got pregnant at like 37 so we can not relate that much

    and also, if you and your partner are emotionally stable, financially stable and mature enough to have babies then why not..... what if you're like 27 and you think like a 19 year old or something then i don't know what's going to happen to your relationship
     
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  8. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    I had my first at 29.5 yrs. I thought that was about right. Now having one at 42 is another thing altogether, but destiny has a plan--who am I to deny it?
     
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  9. Entyqua

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    I voted late 20's but I had mine at 20...I will give you both spectrum...By not having kids early you are able to get a career in check school done and live for a while...Though...having them early means you struggle early on...but they are gone before your 40!! You have the rest of your days to play!
     
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  10. NeverAmI

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    Whenever you are mature and have your shit together. Assuming that happens before the parts stop working.
     
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  11. slant

    slant amour-propre
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    where is the "never" option?
     
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  12. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    Where I live, most people have kids int their late teens and early twenties. They still to be going through the end of their adolescence. This has convinced me that no one in this country should have kids until they are in their late twenties and early thirties.
     
  13. sassafras

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    In my case, I ideally want to have kids in my early to mid-thirties. I'd like to get my career established, find a good guy (instead of rushing to the altar at ___ because most of my peers are married at ____), and enjoy looking good and travelling while in my prime with my partner. I feel like I haven't lived enough of my life yet to be able to offer my undivided attention to little ones any time soon.
     
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  14. the

    the Si master race.
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    I think it best to have kids as early as possible and for as long as possible.
     
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  15. the

    the Si master race.
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    Why do they need your undivided attention? That sounds pretty smothering. Why not share the experince of travel with your kids.

    BTW I am not picking on you but it is a common theme for people to say what you just said as their reason for not having kids.
     
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  16. Quest

    Quest Community Member

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    You have kids (or should have kids) when you're financially and emotionally ready to take care of them.
     
  17. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    ^^THIS!! :D Lol!
     
  18. sassafras

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    Nah, I didn't think you were picking on me, ubby :)

    Er, I don't think my turn of phrase was necessarily meant as "smothering" so much as a general observation that in the first six or seven years of life, kids are just generally very absorbing. I have my brother his two little girls aged 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 as an example. He and his wife don't have so much as a second to spare. Juggling a house, successful careers and two little children is no walk in the park. My brother works sixteen hours a day in an executive and extremely stressful position. My sis-in-law works from home and keeps house in pristine condition whilst cooking healthy, homemade meals and trying to think up of learning activities for the kids instead of parking them in front of the television. By 8:30 at night, when the kids are both in bed, they're absolutely exhausted. I bet they're not thinking about anything but going to bed themselves. My SIL sometimes still has to wake up to mind the youngest because she stopped sleeping through the night again. They're pretty stretched thin.

    And this is with both grandmothers and two aunts on call for babysitting.

    As for travelling... hmm... Taking even well-behaved kids to the grocery store is a feat in my experience. I can't imagine having a hyperactive child (and goodness knows, those parents need to be blessed with patience... like a family friend of ours).

    My brother and his wife are in the mid and early thirties respectively. By the time things calm down around the house when the kids are more suitably independent and in school, they're going to be pushing toward forty. If they had kids earlier, prior to establishing their careers and living a little, I don't think they would be half as sane as they are now.

    Maybe I'm just selfish for thinking this, but I know I'm not going to be ready for such a lifestyle anytime soon. Especially where my career path is taking me. I've already two years behind my peers where career is concerned, and I'd like to have a few years to myself after I finish all my schooling and get settled into my job.

    Some people did their partying in highschool and travelled in college. I did very little of that. I'd like to catch up on what I've missed before I settle down.


    Ack, sorry for the monologue, btw!
     
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    #18 sassafras, Dec 22, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2009
  19. bamf

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    Not selfish at all. It'd be selfish to have kids 'because you want them' when you know you aren't ready for them. It's not selfish to wait to have kids. If you aren't prepared for the lifestyle, you're not necessarily going to be the parent you could be. (but I'm not knocking on people who had kids early. I'm pretty sure that everyone here that is a parent, is a good parent, and that most of the people here would make good parents)
     
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  20. Isis

    Isis Community Member

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    I voted mid 20s, although I'm already in my late 20s, not married nor with kids. :D But life isn't ideal either, so I think it happens when it happens, when the right things align and...:m062:
     
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