What do you think of the "cougar" phenom? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

What do you think of the "cougar" phenom?

Res said:
So, what do you think of the "cougar" phenom?
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On one hand, the idea that a woman reaches a point of comfortability with her sexuality (in Western culture) combined with a peak level of hormonal influence as it regards desire at an age that roughly corresponds with the entry age for cougar-dom is nothing new.

Whether the "phenomenon" as of late is just clever marketing tactic or a sign of people waking up to an already-present reality (or both) I am not so sure.

Res said:
How do you see relationships between older women and younger men?
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Like any other relationship between people. If each are having their needs met, and they are happy with each other, then I wish them well.


cheers,
Ian
 
when i was 21 i met a woman in her early to mid 30's and although it was obvious there was a connection she backed off before anything could happen with it. i don't know if this is a big enough difference to be considered a type of "cougar" like relationship or not but i think she did. i later heard through the grapevine after trying unsuccessfully to reach her that her friends had discouaged it. i guess it just goes to show that as much as we like to think we pick our partners, they must still fall within our culture's boundaries, though imo it is no ones business but the two involved.
 
A 40-something old woman tried to seduce me when I was 18, in an elevator. She was being very physical, which is a very big turn-off unless I thouroughly know the person.

*shiver*

There's no point to the anecdote, it just seemed related.
 
Any sort of sexual relationship between consenting adults is just dandy in my book.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
A 40-something old woman tried to seduce me when I was 18, in an elevator. She was being very physical, which is a very big turn-off unless I thouroughly know the person.

*shiver*

There's no point to the anecdote, it just seemed related.
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Well then, this may be related too? When I was in college the young adult minister, who was in his late thirties, made a move on me. Even though I was horribly uncomfortable, I was still extremely flattered. But the playing field was far from level. From my perspective now, the potential for me to get hurt was much greater. Should someone's potential vulnerability come into play? If so, how should that be judged?
 
I really don't like the term "cougar", it doesn't sit comfortably with me for some reason. Is there a comparable term for older men/young women? (And sugar daddy isn't it since that relationship isn't only about age but money.)

As for the actual relationship, *shrugs* I don't know. I'd feel uncomfortable with it if the woman's in it out of insecurity or conducts herself without much sincerity (again, out of insecurity). That's something I feel uncomfortable about in society in general and this situation might exacerbate it even though it's really none of my business. Some of these relationships ARE healthy though and I may not be used to that or understand it on an emotional level but that's fine because I don't have to and can accept it as it is. If someone's in love and has found a partner they wish to share their lives with or even just someone they're happy with, more power to them. We can use more love in this world.
 
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This is why it needs to be a consensual relationship. Anything else could be considered rape or some other sexual molestation/sex crime.
 
Soulful said:
I really don't like the term "cougar", it doesn't sit comfortably with me for some reason. Is there a comparable term for older men/young women? (And sugar daddy isn't it since that relationship isn't only about age but money.)
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PANTHER!
 
Soulful said:
I really don't like the term "cougar", it doesn't sit comfortably with me for some reason. Is there a comparable term for older men/young women? (And sugar daddy isn't it since that relationship isn't only about age but money.)
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Perhaps 'sugar daddy' has the market because the most famous cases of older men with younger women involve money.

I suppose 'dirty old man' with a bit of *wink, wink... nod, nod* might pass as a semi-endearing kind of expression? "Dirty old man" on its own sounds a little derrogatory.



I think some of the discomfort with age-diversified couples is just fed by an over-active imagination and comical stereo-types. (At least in my case).
 
Res said:
I'm watching a talk show and the topic is "cougars."

So, what do you think of the "cougar" phenom?


How do you see relationships between older women and younger men?
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Considering becoming one Res?

Actually, I have no idea how old you are.
 
As to what I think- I think if you are going to date someone much younger than you, then you can't have the same set of expectations that you would of someone your age. For men dating younger women, this might be a problem if she is lacking experience/drive that an older woman would have (in the sac, which is why they date anyway).

As for older women dating younger men, sex is probably much less of an issue, but earning capacity isn't, and I think that is likely to be the biggest problem in the relationship. A younger man isn't going to make as much money as an older man, and if the woman is expecting him to, then they probably shouldn't be together. She'll feel he is immature (rightly so) and he will feel that she is demanding.

That is based on what I've seen.
 
Res said:
I'm watching a talk show and the topic is "cougars."

So, what do you think of the "cougar" phenom?


How do you see relationships between older women and younger men?
Click to expand...


I think older woman / younger man relationships are fine (the same way I think of any relationship between consenting adults). However, I think the woman can be in a somewhat vulnerable position, for biological reasons.


I don't like the term "cougar" though ... seems a little insulting.
 
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I think its a kind off sexual extreme, it doesn't have to do anything with real relationship. The young spuse is attracted toward the idea of being with someone older, and the old spouse is attraced too, perhaps in even a more perverse way. A sexual realtionship more than a real relationship.
 
I'm open minded.
 
What if they're just attracted to each other, and neither is even thinking about age? Sometimes I think that the argument of "taking advantage" of someone might show more about the person making the argument than the people in the relationship. If the woman is mean and selfish, then it's a problem, but it will always be a problem, whatever sort of relationship she's in. Is it wrong to be in a relationship with an awkward nerd, if the other is more socially experienced? That would seem really silly to me.
 
Do you guys think there is a minimum age limit on who is defined as a cougar? Is it 40, 45? Or does it depend more on the age difference?
 
LucyJr said:
I think its a kind off sexual extreme, it doesn't have to do anything with real relationship. The young spuse is attracted toward the idea of being with someone older, and the old spouse is attraced too, perhaps in even a more perverse way. A sexual realtionship more than a real relationship.
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Why did you necro a topic that's exactly 4 years old to the day and hour?
 
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