What are your turn-offs?

smoking's the first thing to come to mind. it disgusts me, and, frankly, I ain't kissin' that mouth. I guess I'm also a little bit of a christian-phobe. I prefer my pagans and atheists, but I'm ok with most christians (kinda have to be, they're hard to avoid).

 

Smelliness
Messiness
Laziness
Close mindedness
Unkindness
Selfishness

And just general stupidity.

Unfortunately all humans to an extent come with these qualities.

 

Unkind
Selfish
Close-Mindness

 

Turns offs:

Someone who (is): dishonest, paranoid, generally distrusting in the relationship, judgmental, shallow, assumptious, cynical, emotionally cold, prone to angry outbursts, yells, violent, mean, lacks integrity, selfish, obnoxious, dominates conversations, uncommunicative, unmotivated or lazy, personally competitive, needs validation, overly cautious and playing it safe most of the time, controlling, unconstructively critical of others, believes the world's going to hell in a handbasket, uptight, unable to be spontaneous (I tend to feel more relaxed around Ps vs. Js), rigid, unable to relax and let things go, holds grudges, argumentative, blames others and holds them responsible for their lack of success in the world, lack of self-awareness, poor communication especially if reflective of a lack of self-awareness, disrespectful, punitive, immature, close-minded, smug... I could keep going but I think this is beyond long enough.

 

Nearly everything about people turns me off.
So that becomes not the issue.
The issue becomes:
In spite of being turned off,
what is there that I can endure while I discover the real person.

Usually, the real person is nowhere to be seen.
But once in a while, I get a pleasant surprise.

 

apathy
jealousy
slovenliness
laziness
short sightedness
bad teeth
breast implants
horrible acne
and general uncleanliness

 

Bad breath

Bad manners

Insincerity

 

Bad hygiene, clingy behaviour, insensitivity

 

Being rude. I mean if someone loves or likes me I deserve their manners, even during conflict, especially during conflict

Doing one thing saying another.

Manipulation. I admit to falling victim to this because I am eager to please my love..

On the flip side, I am probably guilty of these myself

 

Smoking and chewing. ew.
Arrogance, being rude/mean to others.
being disrespectful to me.
tons of piercings do not do anything for me.
Pants hanging off your ass
constant sarcasm - it is not attractive
a need to constantly talk politics and religion etc, drives me nuts.
boring in bed? see ya. I need more than just lovey-lovey.
Wimps: grow a set. Mine should not be bigger than yours. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

 

For me:

1. Poor hygiene, especially smoking.
2. Obese or extremely thin.
3. Has children already.
4. Lack of emotional intelligence.
5. Country Music.


I think that is pretty much it. The most important thing on my list is #4. I'll tolerate #5 if she agrees to not play or sing the music around me. Most of these are fairly straightforward except for #4, which is subjective for me. The best way I can describe it is that I can't tolerate a person who settles for terrible emotional states of being and all that those situations entail. I need someone who is sensitive to those issues and is willing to work to maintain their mental and spiritual health holistically. Also, our lifestyles wont be very compatible if they don't care about those things.

I would rather go single that be with someone who has lacks emotional intelligence. I realize I have high standards, but I would honestly live my alone than live it with someone who is in such a deprived state of being.

Damn, that is a long list.

 

Stupidity. Well, when I say stupidity I mean more along the lines of people who lack the desire to learn. Say I am trying to explain something to them, something that I find incredibly interesting and they are off in lala land, thinking about the next time we are going to have sex or how to get me to shut up. If I buy a guy a book I hope he actually reads it, not uses it as a paper weight. I want someone who can mentally challenge me. I want to have conversations about things other than your car or your gaming system. Yes, I am a gamer and that interests me, but not 24 hours a day seven days a week. I need something a bit more stimulating.

I also despise liars, and I include omission in this too. Some people think if they just "forget" to mention it, that it's not dishonest. Hiding things can be worse than telling me an outright lie. I try to be as honest as I can be and I expect the same thing from my partner.

Other turn offs include attempting to change me, lack of hygiene, disrespect, a love for rap music, manipulation, immaturity, guys that let me walk on them for the sake of "love" (grow a spine), being smothered (I need me time!), extremely right wing conservatives, hellfire and brimstone christians (I hate being told I am going to hell. It's obnoxious.), judgmental people, drama queens/kings.... I could go on and on.

 

1. Arrogance
2. Narcissism
3. Smoking
4. Heavy conformists
5. Bad hygene

The usuals

 

-Poor hygiene
-Being a robot
-Heavy Smoking, though I can handle being around the lighter stuff
-Close-mindedness
-Generally cruel behavior towards others
-Distaste for creativity
-Strong apathy
-Darwin Award Candidacy (the people who are the reason that obvious warnings exist on labels)

... to be honest though, there's usually not even a turn-on unless something kinda clicks over time regardless. I'm probably too picky about this stuff for my own good.

 

Added to my list of turn-offs:

Consumerism
Walmart
McDonald's
US psychiatry mentality
Realism

 

well . . . arrogance, poor listening skills, insensitivity, and selfishness.

 

Isn't the fact that we have turn offs, selfish,arrogant and insensitive to others by it's very nature??

 

No.

Do you like every painting you see? I'm going to assume not, but by your logic, its insensitive to the artist to not love it. Even better example, do you love every person you, or even like them all? Again, I assume not. Personal preference isn't selfish, arrogant, nor insensitive. Its simply preference.

 

Also a Christian-a-phobe.....I still have friends that are Christian, but I can't date a Christian- they always want to change me, no funfun.
Other turn-offs: People who are not Genuine, Stupidity, Bad Spelling/Grammar, Ignorance, Homophobia, Sexism, Clingyness, Lack of Ambition, Followers/Sheep, Bad Listeners, and.....people who have bad hygiene (smelly=bad, haha)