One of my old roommates shared your perspective. I personally do believe in altruism, although it may not fit your definition.
I do things because I want other people to be happy. I thought that it may be guilt and that I could "make up" for something, but that isn't it. I just simply like people to be happy.
If I did something nice, you could say that my motivation was that I feel better when other people are happy, but isn't that what altruism is? If I want to help victims in a disaster or overcome oppression, what is the motivation?
Many times when I would try to help someone else, and they showed a negative response, I was very hurt and I often thought there was something wrong with me, that I needed to change something so that I could be better.
I am hyper-sensitive to other people, I constantly wonder what they think, this was part of why my social anxiety developed.
That doesn't mean that I am ALWAYS altruistic by any means, but I do feel that I have altrusitic tendencies. This is another reason that I am taken advantage of often and I am sort of OK with that.
Please feel free to debate this though, I am interested to learn more.
Altruism is NOT being happy when you make other people happy. Altruism is doing something for other people when you receive ABSOLUTELY no benefit. When you do something for someone because it makes you happy your benefit is that happy feeling you get. So NO- that is not altruism. However, I would just call you "a good person", because you enjoy helping and being good to other people.
But....the fact that you clearly have such a need for approval from others is probably the main factor in why you try so hard to make them happy. Perhaps you should work on these people-pleasing tendencies, and find out why you are so insecure and need approval and positive reinforcement from others so badly. I mean, we all need it to some extent, but it is healthy to also have some from within.
I think that if you really analyze it, it is impossible to be altruistic, because we are survivalistic- and that is NATURE. If we weren't, we would not exist.
As social creatures it is in our interest to help each other- because it helps us in return, that's why we get that good feeling: because we are supposed to, and we are TOLD we are supposed to, value that and do that.
So it's nothing to be sad about.
This is actually why I broke up with my ex- because even though he admitted that my logic was sound, he said he chose NOT to believe it (that there is no such thing as an altruistic act) because it was too depressing. I call that weakness and ignorance. I'd rather live in the real world, and be a good person despite the knowledge that I do it for myself. Because it is what I believe in.
Interesting thought:
In the Jataka Tales (stories of Buddha from his former lives before he was Siddhartha, before he was enlightened), Buddha threw himself off a cliff to die at the feet of a lioness (who was so hungry that she was about to eat her cubs) so that she could eat him. Was that altruism? He sacrificed himself, and he knew he would die and, therefore, would not be able to enjoy the feeling of goodness. However, he also knew he would be reincarnated as a something better for doing this. So, even Buddha wasn't an altruist? Or was he? I brought this up in a debate about this subject, even though it's a story, I thought it was interesting. ^_^ )
Thank you.. as long as you now there is a difference
As you might imgaine.I have been accused of being selfish by the very act of selfishness in another.
When people understand that we are all just trying to "survive"
it takes some of the pressure off that I place on myself to be perfect to their standards, and my own.
There is a method to my madness
haha. I see. Well said.
I'd have to go with....
Sanity.
haha!!!
