On the outside, once I get to know the group I actually become quite the extrovert, but on the inside I hate every second of it. It's this dichotomy that is tearing me apart. I legitmately care about people, and I want to be able to want to be around them, but I just can't stand being around other people. I guess because I feel like I can never be myself, ever. Which I'm guessing stems from my childhood. But seriously, I see the potentialbility (fake word, real happening.) and possiblilty of all these people, and none of them live up to potential and it makes me rage when I see that. But seriously, and I mean no offence to my friends, but I could honestly go my whole life and never see another person again save one or four people and I'd be just gravy.
Just......
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvvyyyyyyyyyyyy.