What are signs that an INFJ girl wants to be more than friends? | Page 6 | INFJ Forum

What are signs that an INFJ girl wants to be more than friends?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by INTJ Guy, Mar 9, 2009.

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  1. the

    the Si master race.
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    Absolutely. It was just a compliment not a request for you to expound.



    BAM!
     
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  2. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Couldn't help it. It's been awhile since I've kissed anyone and I couldn't help feeling nostalgic.. Apologies for going off topic.. Carry on.
     
  3. J. Cardigan

    J. Cardigan Community Member

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    You're right. These are the best kind.

    I've been rather lonely for awhile and just wanted some female company. She really likes me though, so I'm going to feel pretty bad when I tell her that I'm not try to start a relationship.
     
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  4. mayflow

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    It sounds like slow-dancing a little. Like sensing one another's energy flows...a bit more intimate maybe. Sounds verrry niice! :smile: ...sighs...sweetly...:smile:
     
  5. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    I'm off dreaming on Merrytrees writing on the kiss haha. :m015:
     
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  6. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Agreed if you wait too long your will miss your chance.

    Just say something. You want to regret not saying anything.

    your still over thinking this.

    She says no then at least you know you tired.

    I know you want analyze but eventually you just have take the jump and ask.:m200:
     
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  7. Bored Now

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    Well I'm weird. Every guy I've been serious about was a good friend first. I have to be comfortable so I can be myself. If I go as far to *tell* you that I'm comfortable with you, I'm at least a little bit interested in you.
     
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  8. JME

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    darkstar was right about this.

    She sounds into you, and it sounds like you're determined to blow it.

    There's no reason, strategic or otherwise, to not ask her what's going on with her boyfriend. Not knowing if she has a boyfriend was your reason for not making a move. Asking her that hardly shows any cards, and it's about time to show a few cards anyway. She sounds like she was giving you all the signals.

    And anyway, a friend would ask about her boyfriend. The fact that you won't ask probably says more to her than you asking would.

    I hope this works out for you.
     
  9. OP
    INTJ Guy

    INTJ Guy Regular Poster

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    Well, hopefully she's the same. I always thought that if a girl was comfortable with someone it meant that there was no tension and that she didn't feel intimidated by him, which meant there was no attraction.


    Well, I've never asked about him before, she's always been the one to bring him up, which hasn't happened in a while now, so it'd be weird if I asked about him.


    Well, that might just be a good thing...


    Thanks a lot. :)
     
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    #109 INTJ Guy, Mar 23, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2009
  10. OP
    INTJ Guy

    INTJ Guy Regular Poster

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    I know, and I'm not scared to ask, but asking is a last resort.
     
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  11. J. Cardigan

    J. Cardigan Community Member

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    If you weren't scared to ask, then it wouldn't be a last resort. I used to sit around and wonder if [x] girl liked me, pondering over every little detail I could remember. Later on I realized this is a pretty bad thing to do. I still do it, but after I've asked the girl out or "made my move."

    I couldn't tell you how many girls I wondered about and then later found out they had a crush on me. It will come back to bite you in the ass (or, it did me, at least).

    I still don't have a girlfriend (although I guess my current situation allows for one if I wanted to date her...), but I've at least been on a few dates this year, which is more than I can say for all of my years in high school and the first half of college.

    Do what you think you need to do, but if you beat around the bush too long you'll wind up regretting it.
     
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  12. Liv

    Liv Community Member

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    just please dont play games....being honest could turn out brilliantly,which would be fantastic,even if she doesnt feel the same your mind will be settled and your friendship will remain intact(at worst a little bruised),if you play games and she figures it out she will feel hurt and her trust abused,shell probably run a mile,I have done.Are games to save face worth the risk of losing her completely??
    Hopefully not,I hope it works out,good luck!
     
  13. the

    the Si master race.
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    So have you taken any action to trick her into letting you know if she likes you yet?
     
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    #113 the, Mar 24, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2009
  14. Silently Honest

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    I'm also curious. You really don't get a lot of time for things like this...
     
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  15. OP
    INTJ Guy

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    It won't bite me in the ass, man. If it's meant to be it will happen.


    Absolutely. I have a 100% strike rate, meaning that I've only ever pursued girls who were interested in me. I've never experienced rejection.


    Yes, I've done a few things. Playful touching here and there, and genuine compliments. She's a very strong, but caring person, so I'm always quick to comment on that when she's feeling down. I also told her how her quirkiness never fails to amuse me.

    She calls me "cute," and "adorable." I don't know if that's a puppy dog "cute" and "adorable," or if she's hinting that she's attracted to me. She says that I make her smile and that I always suprise her, too.
     
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    #115 INTJ Guy, Mar 24, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2009
  16. JME

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    Don't you mean you've only ever pursued girls that you were absolutely 100% certain were interested?

    Judging by your words, I suspect you've overlooked some. Maybe some really good ones.

    I'm personally not sure I'd call any failed attempt a rejection. Kinda like when you're trying out a new food (or something you think might be food), you don't take the biggest bite you can and swallow as quickly as possible. That could cause a lot of damage. It's wise to take a little nibble first. If it doesn't taste good, you spit it out. It would be more of a disappointment than a rejection.

    Of course, if you pine for a girl, then it could wind up as a rejection. The trick is to take a nibble before you get to that point. Probably too late in this case, but you also risk missing your opportunity here by continuing analysis paralysis.
     
  17. the

    the Si master race.
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    Two weeks have gone by and you are still don't know for sure. Lame.
     
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  18. OP
    INTJ Guy

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    Yes. That way everyone involved wins.


    Perhaps, but say those "good ones" didn't have mutual interest in me. There's no point in pursuing girls like that, no matter how bad I'd want them. It wastes time and energy.


    I think I'm following you. Are you saying not to completely throw yourself at a girl you barely know in the hope of starting a relationship? If so, that's not what I do anyway.


    As much as I like this girl, if the attraction wasn't mutual, and she did reject my advances, I'd have no problem severing contact with her. That's just the way I am, and how I deal with things.


    We haven't seen each other in person in a while. Like I said, we live on different ends of the city, attend different universities, and work at different places, so we're always busy. The last time we did was long before I posted this and there's no way I'm asking her anything over MSN, that's cowardice.
     
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  19. JME

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    Actually, I was saying little nibbles of things that taste bad aren't usually a big deal. It's like sticking your foot in the water before jumping in.

    Sure, your foot might get a little wet and cold, but with your method, you waste a lot of time and energy looking for, using, and waiting on a thermometer, so you can say you've never touched uncomfortable water.

    As an INTJ, you can probably appreciate how much time and energy you can save by finding these things out quickly and directly. That same time and energy could be directed toward something more fruitful, seeing that you have opportunity cost to think about here too.

    I learned these things myself some time ago. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about things that wouldn't happen (might or might not, etc). I learned to eliminate those so I could spend more time on things that were fruitful. You can do the same if you want.
     
  20. just me

    just me Listening and waiting.

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    Ask her a few questions.
    "Can friends fall in love?" being one of them.
    I hope you are prepared for what may happen and how long it will last if she is in love with you, her being infj. Always be honest with her at all costs.
     
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