What are signs that an INFJ girl wants to be more than friends?

[darkstar]

Like if she gets hurt you aren't going to hear about it and probably be publicly embarrassed. Ha! What if she feels friendship for you and then gets the hint that you have no ability to be direct and honest with her? That would be possible lose-lose scenario. Man up buddy. Be direct and honest, or play douche bag games.

I have to agree. Man this is bringing up lots of bad traumatic memories (

... Okay, so maybe it's not that bad, but trust my iNtuition on this one. XD

Be direct and honest, and honestly, if she doesn't have a BF AND doesn't like you like that, then there are ways to break out of that, but being passive aggressive, disappearing, or playing games are NOT those ways.

 

[sumone]

The thing is, if you're playing games she will know, trust me. And she may re-evaluate you and call you a moron or something!
But seriously, to me it sounds like you're trying to cover all your bases. It's kind of fun to watch actually!

 

[Silently Honest]

Maybe you'll luck out and she'll really like you, but at our age that never happens so good luck.

 

[the]

The thing is, if you're playing games she will know, trust me. And she may re-evaluate you and call you a moron or something!
But seriously, to me it sounds like you're trying to cover all your bases. It's kind of fun to watch actually!

That is true, women are much better at playing games then men are.

 

[Bored Now]

OHHH I just remembered something about mind games! Long Story:

I had a sorta boyfriend named Mike. BOO! My little infj self was half in love but I guess I was moving too slow for him. He wanted more than commitment.. he wanted like..my soul or something. In order to "rush" me, he decided to play a mind game with me.

We were out like mountain bike riding. I'm normally really put together, I invest a bit of time in my 'look' I guess. But I'm also a jeans and t shirt who likes to get dirty and active outdoors. Anywho we are heading back to the city...and he says "Oh I want you to meet someone real quick!"

I look like ass. I'm annoyed, but whatever. *I* don't have to look at me and I don't really care. We go into an office building. And he introduces me to his EX GIRLFRIEND. His ex girlfriend who had previously told him she would dump her fiancee to get him back. And she looks like a freeking barbie doll. Short curvy blond... to my my tall thin non blonde. He knew that would particularly hurt. I felt like a jerk. I didn't get loud or in his face, but I pulled WAY the hell back emtionally after that and it led to us breaking up. That boy still calls my Mom's house seven years later wanting to know what's up with me.

Don't play games with an Infj girl. She won't tell you that it hurts her, but if you want something real, be sincere, be forthright and be honest. Honesty is really attractive.

 

[acd]

Dishonest people play games. Not primarily people who are female, not primarily people who are non-infj. It's manipulative. Pursue a game-player if you're looking to be manipulated.

 

[the]

Dishonest people = women

fixed

 

[acd]

That's why you're single.

 

[slant]

They tell you if they want to be more than friends.

Plain and simple.

 

[INTJ Guy]

The thing is, if you're playing games she will know, trust me. And she may re-evaluate you and call you a moron or something!
But seriously, to me it sounds like you're trying to cover all your bases. It's kind of fun to watch actually!

And it's fun to think of how to cover my bases as well.

Also, if she calls me a moron I'll just call her one back. She'd have no reason to call me a moron, would she?

Don't play games with an Infj girl. She won't tell you that it hurts her, but if you want something real, be sincere, be forthright and be honest. Honesty is really attractive.

Oh, it's not fair! She gets to play games with me, but not the other way around?!

*throws a childish tantrum*


That's the other thing. Some people say that if a girl makes fun of you and puts you down a lot then it's flirting, but how can you tell the difference between playful flirtacious banter and genuinely expressing dislike?

 

[Bored Now]

Ok I flirt just like that. Well I did when I was younger. If I'm being mean and teasing it means I'm comfy with you! And I'm trying to childishly fight off my feelings for you by jokingly pointing out what a loser you are. But if I'm that comfortable it's too late, I'm already smitten.

If I can't stand you I will either tell you straight up (not often, but it happens) or just be polite but Very very cool towards you.

 

[the]

That's why you're single.

Not exactly.

Hold on... I'm not even single, I brought my g/f to the party Saturday.

 

[J. Cardigan]

Dishonest people play games. Not primarily people who are female, not primarily people who are non-infj. It's manipulative. Pursue a game-player if you're looking to be manipulated.

This isn't necessarily true. I don't consider myself dishonest, but unfortunately games seem to be necessary in this day and age. I certainly get farther in my dating endeavors when I act uncaring and disinterested.

Oh wait, that's not an act. I really just don't give a shit anymore. Eh.

As a side-note, I think I met a female INFJ. If she's not an INFJ, I at least know she's an "I" because she is by far the most avoidant, anxious person I've ever met. I've asked her out for coffee (of all things) multiple times, and I always get "Oh, I'm busy, but maybe some other time!"

I told her (nicely) that if she didn't want to hang out I wouldn't be offended and I'd rather her just tell me. She seemed really flustered and didn't quite know what to say other than "I've been really busy!" That was two weeks ago, and we haven't talked since (she's in my class).

GOOD times.

 

[INTJ Guy]

Ok I flirt just like that. Well I did when I was younger. If I'm being mean and teasing it means I'm comfy with you! And I'm trying to childishly fight off my feelings for you by jokingly pointing out what a loser you are. But if I'm that comfortable it's too late, I'm already smitten.

So, if you tell someone you're comfortable with them, it isn't always an indication that you're only interested in being platonic?! I always thought it was...

 

[Shai Gar]

I want to kiss an INFJ too.

 

[J. Cardigan]

I want to kiss an INFJ too.

Last night I was told I'm pretty good, but I'm guessing you don't want to kiss a dude.

Oh wait, in retrospect I've kissed another INFJ. She was drunk, but she was quite vicious with the tongue. It was a five-star experience and I highly recommend it to all of my friends and contemporaries.

 

[the]

Last night I was told I'm pretty good, but I'm guessing you don't want to kiss a dude.

Oh wait, in retrospect I've kissed another INFJ. She was drunk, but she was quite vicious with the tongue. It was a five-star experience and I highly recommend it to all of my friends and contemporaries.

I think I kissed a INFJ before and she was also vicious with the tounge. But it was more like kissing a snake.

 

[acd]

A vicious tongue makes me think of jousting. The best kisses are slow and hesitant that build in intensity until bookcases are being knocked over etc. etc. But I've never kissed an infj woman.. or man.

 

[the]

A vicious tongue makes me think of jousting. The best kisses are slow and hesitant that build in intensity until bookcases are being knocked over etc. etc. But I've never kissed an infj woman.. or man.

For not kissing many people, you sure do describe a good kiss.


Yes, it was like jousting.

 

[acd]

For not kissing many people, you sure do describe a good kiss.


Yes, it was like jousting.

Quality, not quantity. I don't need to kiss many people to know when it's good. A good kiss is when you both adapt to one another's movements... you're not trying to overpower one another. You find a rhythm. Sometimes, during a good kiss I feel like the other and I are speaking a silent language and not tripping over our words. (Sigh.. I love kissing.)