For me, holding hands is a sign of close friendship. If I ever decided to date which isn't likely, I would want it to be established. That means I would talk about it with my partner so we would both be on the same page and so we could decide the exclusivity of the relationship. There was this one boy who thought we were dating, and he would say things like that he loved me, and I thought he was talking about the love friends share. I had all the information I needed, but I manipulated it to say what I wanted without realizing it because it never occurred to me that someone would start dating me without my knowledge. It was pretty awkward when he started telling everyone that I was his girlfriend and I had to tell him that I didn't share the same feelings after his family invited me on vacation with them. I still feel bad about it. The point is, never assume anything with an infj. The way we view relationships is relatively different than the way they are conventionally treated. If you don't come out and ask, you run the risk of losing this girl's respect by showing that you will bend the relationship without her consent and with no consideration for her feelings. Additionally, it is possible that she knows what you want and plans to have some fun letting you wallow in your emotional quandary. If she is an infj, it is possible that you could remain friends even if she knew of the romantic feelings you have for her as long as you can control those feelings. If she feels the same as you, she is most likely looking for a long term relationship, so if you aren't, you'd best steer clear.