I’m struggling through some thoughts and bouts of loneliness right now. To put it simply, I feel disconnected from everyone. I am social, I go out, I see friends but something feels like its missing, something more fulfilling. I want a deeper connection with another person but I have no idea what it is or who it is or anything for that matter. I feel like I am going through the motions but my heart isn’t in it and I’m struggling to find a way out of the rut.
At the same time I desire a deeper connection with someone, I also fear it. It goes back to that old insecurity of if anyone ever actually saw my personal demons; they would run the other direction even if I am taking care of them myself. I guess it’s also pride and ego. At the end of the day, I don’t want anyone to see the insecure or sensitive side of my personality. I’ve gotten better at it compared to when I first joined this forum thanks to some generous individuals here but it’s still always a challenge.
It is a painful to feel like one aspect of my personality is never enough, it’s inadequate, and it’s unmanly and too sensitive. It feels like a crutch, like a hindrance and I hate saying that because it’s probably the best aspect of who I am.
I was really wondering if anybody else goes through this and what have they done to get over it?
At the same time I desire a deeper connection with someone, I also fear it. It goes back to that old insecurity of if anyone ever actually saw my personal demons; they would run the other direction even if I am taking care of them myself. I guess it’s also pride and ego. At the end of the day, I don’t want anyone to see the insecure or sensitive side of my personality. I’ve gotten better at it compared to when I first joined this forum thanks to some generous individuals here but it’s still always a challenge.
It is a painful to feel like one aspect of my personality is never enough, it’s inadequate, and it’s unmanly and too sensitive. It feels like a crutch, like a hindrance and I hate saying that because it’s probably the best aspect of who I am.
I was really wondering if anybody else goes through this and what have they done to get over it?