@Ginny @Gaze
Sorry of course that's true about May/Dec. Its not the age gap, as much as the circumstances. What I meant was the "rich older guy" who has left his wife and found "new love" with a much younger woman.
Who bizarrely, often looks like his wife did 30 years ago. I just can't respect that kind of person, they think everything can be bought. I don't judge the women. But I can't consider that "soul mates".
I wonder about some of these relationships, especially a case where the older partner can't seem to have a relationship with anyone their age. Their partner must be younger or they don't feel as if they can enjoy their life or relationship. It goes back to the underlying ageist assumption that youth or younger is always better. Others say, "I'm a young soul so I need someone younger". But this makes it seem as if anyone in the same age group is automatically not as fun as someone younger. I guess at the end of the day, each person decides for themselves who fits.
On the other hand, I think sometimes, people can rule someone out too quickly because they think they are "too" young or "old" however they define these terms. It's pretty relative at this point unless you're under 18 dating someone much younger or older. When I was a teen, I remember thinking wow, look at that younger/older relationship. He or she must be so "mature".
I had no clue. So easy to idealize those relationships and seem them as exotic or unique rather than normal, realistic, or practical. I think it's also because some of those in these relationships had an air of privilege or mystery where they made their relationship sound so special and different from everyone else's, and no one could ever really understand them. I bought into so much nonsense when I was young. Wow.
Unfortunately, some of these relationships became abusive because of the unequal dynamic and the power differentials between the couple. Some were controlling, etc. So, not as ideal.
But thinking of all this gave me something to think about for soulmates. Although I don't believe in it anymore, I think that a case could be made to become truly mated souls if you put the work in. In other words, this would be based not on some instant, perfect, twin connection, but two people who survived a lot in a relationship, and worked through a lot of mountains and valleys, suffered injuries and relapses, and renewed assent to get to a point where they are mated in life, body, and spirit.
