Some things I can't deal with. | INFJ Forum

Some things I can't deal with.

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by darkstar, Feb 21, 2009.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 2 users.
Page 1 of 3
More threads by darkstar
  1. darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Passive aggressiveness, unforgiveness, and refusal to work on problems.

    I am the type who, if there is a problem, it must be discussed and worked out, not let alone to fester. Because then, all of a sudden, the relationship/friendship is over without warning.

    Can anyone relate?

    People wonder why I let so few people in....
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #1 darkstar, Feb 21, 2009
  2. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    762
    Messages:
    14,154
    Likes Received:
    1,297
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2 sx/so/sp
    I relate in every way, completly :)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #2 IndigoSensor, Feb 22, 2009
  3. acd

    acd Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2009
    Threads:
    143
    Messages:
    15,259
    Featured Threads:
    11
    Likes Received:
    33,950
    Trophy Points:
    1,387
    MBTI:
    infp
    Enneagram:
    9w8 sp/sx
    I would guess most people feel this way when it comes to their close relationships. I've only not cared when it wasn't a close relationship, in which case it was easy to drift apart.
     
    #3 acd, Feb 22, 2009
  4. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 23, 2008
    Threads:
    78
    Messages:
    4,253
    Likes Received:
    166
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ♥
    Enneagram:
    ♥
    Yuppers. Totally. Can't stand those three things.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #4 Lurker, Feb 22, 2009
  5. in_wonderment

    in_wonderment Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2008
    Threads:
    7
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    second that, on all counts. passive aggressiveness is one of the great evils of the world. of that i am sure.
     
    #5 in_wonderment, Feb 22, 2009
  6. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Threads:
    36
    Messages:
    3,085
    Likes Received:
    127
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ANFP
    I can definetl relate, I have this problem with my mom and have had it for like 10 years. Whenever there is a problem I need to talk about it although she will refrain and say I dont want to talk about this ...

    Ã consider this child neglection, because I can turn introvert and linger over a problem for weeks, wheras she forgets it the next day and acts as if everything is fine.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #6 Pristinegirl, Feb 22, 2009
  7. OP
    darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Yeah, agreed on only the close friendship part. "Acquaintances" don't count.

    So rule #1 Stay away from (or at least don't get attached to) bi-polar people. Lesson I have learned well.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #7 darkstar, Feb 22, 2009
  8. Milon

    Milon Director of Glomps
    Donor

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Threads:
    13
    Messages:
    1,551
    Likes Received:
    81
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ!
    Enneagram:
    6w5 SO
    Bad experiences with bipolar friends? My bipolar friend was never passive-aggressive or unforgiving. It was tricky asking her to work on problems though...
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #8 Milon, Feb 22, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2009
  9. TK*

    TK* Community Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2008
    Threads:
    14
    Messages:
    842
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I agree with what everyone else said. If there is a problem and I care enough about that person or problem, I'm going to want to iron out the hiccups that pop up immediately. I don't want a small issue to turn into a big issue. However, if I don't give two sh1ts about whether that person festers or not, I'm just going to let them make a big deal out of whatever problem we're going through. I'll step in if it gets to the point where their passive aggressiveness is a nuisance interfering in my daily routine.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #9 TK*, Feb 22, 2009
  10. OP
    darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Yeah, lost a love interest and one of my best friends (two different people) last week.

    (No wonder why I'm having dreams where my teeth fall out, as they are interpreted as meaning loss.)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #10 darkstar, Feb 22, 2009
  11. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Threads:
    36
    Messages:
    3,085
    Likes Received:
    127
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ANFP

    That is horrible, I'm sorry, I am with you =/
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #11 Pristinegirl, Feb 22, 2009
  12. OP
    darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ

    Thanks. :)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #12 darkstar, Feb 22, 2009
  13. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Threads:
    36
    Messages:
    3,085
    Likes Received:
    127
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ANFP
    I just cannot deal with ignorance, neglection, inferiority and carelessness
    (there may be more)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #13 Pristinegirl, Feb 22, 2009
  14. OP
    darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ

    Neglection is kind of part of what I said, so kudos.

    What do you mean by carelessness? Like clumsiness? Or carelessness with peoples emotions?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #14 darkstar, Feb 22, 2009
  15. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Threads:
    36
    Messages:
    3,085
    Likes Received:
    127
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ANFP
    Yes =) WELL SPOTTED, the latter. Carelessness about peoples emotions.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #15 Pristinegirl, Feb 22, 2009
  16. anica

    anica dark dreamer
    Donor

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    1,672
    Likes Received:
    168
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infp
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I'm sorry for your losses. Believe me, I can relate. I'm curious, though; are you saying both these people had bipolar disorder? And if so, are you saying both were passive-aggressive, refused to work on problems and were unforgiving?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #16 anica, Feb 22, 2009
  17. OP
    darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ

    Thanks.

    nail + hit on the head = true;

    Yep. All of a sudden, they just cut me out. And I don't just mean ignoring me, I mean also saying "leave me alone" when I tried talking to them to "this "friendship" isn't going to work".
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #17 darkstar, Feb 22, 2009
  18. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Threads:
    36
    Messages:
    3,085
    Likes Received:
    127
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ANFP
    Life is generally very hard with fluctuating people, especially sudden fluctuations. How strong of you to make it through all of this *admiration*. It sounds to me as if you did your best so do not What So Ever blame yourself because you did nothing wrong.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #18 Pristinegirl, Feb 22, 2009
  19. OP
    darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ

    Well, there are always two sides to every story. I of course am not blameless, however, I tried. Any relationship requires two people, so if one of them wishes not to participate, there is nothing the other can do. (I think my thinking side and my emotional side are finally reaching a nice little consensus, partly in thanks to all of you)

    Thanks for the support all!
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #19 darkstar, Feb 22, 2009
  20. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Threads:
    36
    Messages:
    3,085
    Likes Received:
    127
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ANFP

    Ahhh I think so too. You are certaintly very wise and mature about it. Furthermore you are right on that it takes two. For some it may take years to figure something that ought to be so obvious. :)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #20 Pristinegirl, Feb 22, 2009
Page 1 of 3
Loading...
Similar Threads - things can't deal
  1. PeaceLover

    [INFJ] In INFJ's perspective- what are the most important things in a relationship?

    PeaceLover, Oct 17, 2019, in forum: Relationships and Sociology
    Replies:
    4
    Views:
    786
    Asa
    Oct 20, 2019
  2. April

    Why do I avoid doing things with people when I want a lasting frienship so bad?

    April, Jul 29, 2018, in forum: Relationships and Sociology
    Replies:
    26
    Views:
    950
    Midnight Harlequin
    Jul 31, 2018
  3. Asa

    Things Introverts Like

    Asa, Jun 12, 2017, in forum: Relationships and Sociology
    Replies:
    50
    Views:
    2,562
    Kian2019
    Dec 9, 2019
  4. Gaze

    how to quit worrying about things you can't control

    Gaze, Dec 14, 2011, in forum: Relationships and Sociology
    Replies:
    11
    Views:
    3,905
    jupiterswoon
    Apr 27, 2012
  5. whynot

    When people do things you just can't figure out.... how to let it go.

    whynot, Oct 14, 2010, in forum: Relationships and Sociology
    Replies:
    7
    Views:
    1,384
    KorJax
    Oct 15, 2010

Share This Page