Some things I can't deal with. | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Some things I can't deal with.

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by darkstar, Feb 21, 2009.

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  1. Milon

    Milon Director of Glomps
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    I hated doing this, but I created categories or labels for people. I used to view all people equally, but then I trusted them all equally. It's easy, seemingly, for some to abuse trust. Now I "rank" people by the amount I feel I can trust them with. There's no formalized system for it, but I'm very aware of how much I can trust someone.

    An experience like yours, Darkstar, would cause me to move this person down the list a lot while trying to retain friendship. I'd just be careful about what I entrusted to him, and be selective about what I took to heart. And it sounds like you've already done that, so I'm on board with you!



    Not much of a "friendship" when you do that, though. Like I said, I hated it, but it was a needed survival skill. :(
     
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  2. alcyone

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    I do the same thing milon, so your not alone is using a trust based ranking system for the people in your life.
     
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    darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

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    Same, I tend to do the same thing, just when people finally slip in and then break the trust, it really hurts.

    I guess I just need to tune up my radar.
     
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  4. Milon

    Milon Director of Glomps
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    I thought my radar was pretty awesome... until I met a really charismatic guy. Trusted him right away. Big mistake. He tried to steal my friend's client-base from her business. Never saw it coming. :( Now charisma just instantly makes me suspicious. Sad.

    I think it raises red flags because I haven't yet learned to "see through" the charisma shell. All the other highly charismatic people I've met I could trust nearly absolutely. Hence there was no need to "see through" them before.
     
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  5. bs98r3kjf

    bs98r3kjf Well-known member

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    I can totally relate...I do the same thing now.
     
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