Romance | INFJ Forum

Romance

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by dneecey, Dec 12, 2009.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 4 users.
More threads by dneecey
  1. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2009
    Threads:
    132
    Messages:
    3,528
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    868
    Trophy Points:
    593
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    How important is romance in a relationship to you?


    and


    What is your idea of the ULTIMATE romantic weekend?



    What is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you?


    What is the most romantic thing you've ever done?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,755
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Great question D.

    How important is romance in a relationship to you?
    - i honestly don't know. i used to think of myself as a romantic when i was younger, thought i wanted the whole nine yards, but now i'm older, idk. i think it would turn me off if someone was too romantic. i would likely feel uncomfortable. i'd rather someone be understanding and considerate than romantic. Emotional intimacy is more important to me than romance.

    and


    What is your idea of the ULTIMATE romantic weekend?
    - i'm tempted to say a weekend away, on a vacation somewhere coastal by the beach, with peace and quiet. i don't think i like the idea of a weekend dedicated specifically to romance. If i was with someone, i think if we could get away, then that's fine, but tbh, as long as we're comfortable wherever we are, and can make each other feel loved and show affection wherever and whenever, than that's romantic to me. I hate overblown, grand gestures of affection or being showered with compliments.

    What is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you?
    - someone (a friend) picked a single flower and gave it to me. it was nice. didn't mean anything though. but it was a nice gesture.

    What is the most romantic thing you've ever done?
    -haven't reached the point where i had the opportunity to do something romantic for someone, but i'd probably get them something they've always wanted, and show appreciation of who they are in a special way.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Threads:
    280
    Messages:
    10,016
    Likes Received:
    533
    Trophy Points:
    755
    MBTI:
    INF
    Enneagram:
    messed up
    How important is romance in a relationship to you? Very important...though I can live with out and have for many years


    and


    What is your idea of the ULTIMATE romantic weekend? Well with kids, anywhere will do...Just getting away to a nice hotel for the weekend is good enough...

    In terms of ULTIMATE! Gosh...I would just be nice to just be surprised...To be whisked away somewhere...completely taken off guard.



    What is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you? dont really have one


    What is the most romantic thing you've ever done? I took some pictures for my husband...:m163:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    762
    Messages:
    14,154
    Likes Received:
    1,285
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2 sx/so/sp
    I want romance so bad. I have never had it before, I only got close to it through my own perception (even though it was far off). Though romance, you can feel totally open, and totally safe with another person with no reservations what so ever. That is what I want. Ideally I just want someone I am wildly attracted to, who I can say anything to, do anything with, with no fear. Coversely, he will be able to do the same with me, and feel the same with me. It's actually rather simple. I don't need anything overly complex, just simple love and romance.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Entyqua likes this.
  5. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Threads:
    280
    Messages:
    10,016
    Likes Received:
    533
    Trophy Points:
    755
    MBTI:
    INF
    Enneagram:
    messed up

    beautiful....


    *buries her head in another sappy romance novel and keeps dreaming*
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2009
    Threads:
    20
    Messages:
    1,382
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    How important is romance in a relationship to you?
    Pretty important. It kind of shows that you both care enough to be bothered about it. It also adds creativity and intuition to the relationship and makes it more enjoyable, usually, for both sides.

    What is your idea of the ULTIMATE romantic weekend?
    Both getting immersed in each other's hobbies on each day to be able to fully appreciate the other, even if the hobby is incredibly dull (like watching football). I think also just doing normal things but having little, harmless, unobtrusive surprises scattered along the way.


    What is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you?



    What is the most romantic thing you've ever done?
    I guess being very elaborate in making things/buying things that I know they would like. I'm no good at romance, it makes me embarassed.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. Isis

    Isis Community Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2009
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    How important is romance in a relationship to you?

    It is important. But it's more about simple little things and not some huge gestures. Things that happen in the moment, showing appreciation and how much you really care through simple gestures. And romance shouldn't be expected all the time and it definitely shouldn't be scheduled. Trying to be extra romantic takes a lot out of it.

    What is your idea of the ULTIMATE romantic weekend?

    Just the two of us. Away in some remote cabin in the woods near a lake. Peace and quiet, feeling that nothing else matters, the times seems to stop. Just a wonderful feeling of connection, warmth, intimacy. Perfection.
     
  8. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Romance is the MOST important thing to me.


    No comment for the rest
     
  9. Azure_Knight

    Azure_Knight Community Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2009
    Threads:
    44
    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    N/A
    Enneagram:
    N/A
    Very important.

    Going into space and being able to watch the stars together without any barriers to the heavens. Being alone in a sea of light that goes on forever.
     
  10. Solongo

    Solongo Well-known member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2009
    Threads:
    36
    Messages:
    2,089
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    434
    Trophy Points:
    230
    MBTI:
    INFJ all day
    How important is romance in a relationship to you?

    it is important because it keeps the flame alive. Especially if you have been together for a long time and gotten used to a busier, taking care of others kind of lifestyle.


    and


    What is your idea of the ULTIMATE romantic weekend?

    Sharing something wonderful together. Something we both enjoy and it can be small as a favorite piece of cake or something grand as traveling together in an unknown land.



    What is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you?

    When my boyfriend took care of me for good month when I was very ill. It was endearing, sweet and romantic. Most of all I knew I was loved.


    What is the most romantic thing you've ever done?

    A surprise birthday party where I cooked and set up everything. he was thoroughly surprised and happy.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Threads:
    540
    Messages:
    7,284
    Likes Received:
    549
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INXP
    Never had it, so I don't know.

    A confession under a sakura tree?

    I dunno, is that a bit cliche?

    Nothing.

    How do you do romance?
     
  12. Norton

    Norton XXXX

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    1,527
    Likes Received:
    524
    Trophy Points:
    667
    MBTI:
    XXXX
    Enneagram:
    XXXX
    Currently, we're sitting in front of the fire, it's cold outside, the INFJ is reading and I'm (obviously) writing. We had a good dinner we cooked together, a bit of wine, and it's very comfortable now. The Christmas tree we just cut today is emitting a lovely pine smell. Very romantic. (We're long married, the kids are successfully on their own, and we're still crazy about each other. We've been very lucky.)
     
    dneecey and Entyqua like this.
  13. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,755
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    I have a question for you. You may've answered this on another post already, but if you don't mind me asking, how is it building a relationship with an INFJ? What are, in your opinion, the keys to success for a INTP/INFJ relationship based on your experience?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  14. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Threads:
    280
    Messages:
    10,016
    Likes Received:
    533
    Trophy Points:
    755
    MBTI:
    INF
    Enneagram:
    messed up

    Oh I would LOVE to hear this too...*grabs popcorn and waits patiently* seeing as I am married to an INTJ with borderline p tendencies
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,755
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    *steals Enty's popcorn and munches . . . yikes! Popcorn's stuck in teeth*
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  16. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Threads:
    280
    Messages:
    10,016
    Likes Received:
    533
    Trophy Points:
    755
    MBTI:
    INF
    Enneagram:
    messed up
    *giggles while restraint struggles with the thin filmy popcorn skins in her teeth*
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  17. Norton

    Norton XXXX

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    1,527
    Likes Received:
    524
    Trophy Points:
    667
    MBTI:
    XXXX
    Enneagram:
    XXXX
    When we were married, my wife was a third year medical student (we met in her first year) so there was the stress of med school. This was in the days before limits were put on in house hours for interns and residents. So there was the external stress of med school, which really is stressful, not just for students but for spouses (i.e., me), too. But there was also the intrinsic stress of just being married and inherent personality clashes between a T and F. My wife and I are both very strong N's and I's, so these have been areas of resonance. The T vs. F and J vs. P were a challenge. OTOH, they are also where we discovered complementarity, which led to a stronger relationship once each of us realized this. I had to learn to appreciate my wife's feelings and to validate them, even though I was quite out of touch with my own feelings. Over the years, I've learned to be in touch with my own feelings and understand them, but initially, I had a rather primitive response to my feelings. I think this is common among INTP's, who, if they're lucky, eventually learn to deal with feelings healthily. My wife was a good tutor about feelings. (It must seem strange to INFJ's that someone can be out of touch with and ignorant of his own feelings, but that's the way many immature INTP's are) OTOH, I think that my wife benefited from my ability to be relatively detached emotionally when making decisions as well as my tendency to be spontaneous. When we were first married, it was relatively unusual for a non-physician man to be the husband of a physician. People thought I was really liberated and secure in myself. I thought this was funny, because I just happened to be in love with a woman who just happened to be a doctor. Now that more than 50% of medical students are women, I'm not so unusual. I've had my interests and I've been successful professionally. As an INTP, I have no interest in controlling people, so my wife (as she recently told me) appreciates that she was really free to do whatever she wanted professionally without any interference from me. I'm rather proud of her. We have two sons, both of whom are successful. Raising them wasn't easy, but we talked and thought a lot about the process of raising children while we were doing it. We limited their "screen" time, read to them every night, and always ate dinner together as a family (even if my wife came home late--I gave them snacks to tide them over). I also believe that it's important not to tell one's children what they should do with their lives other than encouraging them to do well in school so as to keep their options open. Anyway, life is difficult for everyone, but if you're lucky enough to find the right partner, it is ever so much easier. When one is loved and supported hard times are a little less hard. Romance is still there for us, and it's lovely.

    For us, the INTP/INFJ combination has worked well. But, there is much more to a relationship than personality type. People truly do mature and grow, and as they can grow together they become stronger both as individuals and as a couple.

    ed--I guess I should add that one of my sons is also an INFJ as is my brother-in-law, so I have a lot of experience with and appreciation of INFJ's. They tend to be lovely people but, also, extremely powerful in their understanding of and insight into others. They would be quite scary and dangerous if they weren't so ethical.
     
    #17 Norton, Dec 13, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2009
    Gaze likes this.
  18. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Threads:
    280
    Messages:
    10,016
    Likes Received:
    533
    Trophy Points:
    755
    MBTI:
    INF
    Enneagram:
    messed up

    Thank you so much for sharing this...I think I may deem you my new mentor...Teach me to teach my INTJ/P!! ;)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. Zero Angel

    Zero Angel Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2008
    Threads:
    19
    Messages:
    958
    Likes Received:
    64
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    Possibly 4w5
    Highly important.

    I liked what azure knight wrote. Generally we would spend all day at a music festival, and walk by the river at night and stare at the stars and talk.

    Not much really. I remember at one time I went out with an INTJ, we did karaoke and at the end she jumped into my arms and I held her. We walked to my house that night, and stopped off at the river (I wanted to try making love by the river at night) of course it didnt work out because there were mosquitos. But overall it was still a romantic night.


    That's pretty much it. I haven't been in very many relationships.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  20. Matariki

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Threads:
    106
    Messages:
    3,491
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    498
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    N/A
    Enneagram:
    N/A
    Ok, I'll point out now that I have never been in a romantic relationship before. :m197:
    Thats because I havn't meet any INFJ males yet. Knowing them though they would probably run away. :m068:

    So all the answers are in theory.


    How important is romance in a relationship to you?

    Very important. Loyality though is number one on the priority list.

    What is your idea of the ULTIMATE romantic weekend?


    A weekend away on the beach or in the forest, somewhere quite and close to nature and with possibly little people around. Space sounds like a nice romantic place, of course theres a problem with the obvious lack of oxygen and floating around in space suits, well I don't find space suits romantic. Maybe thats an idea for NASA, sexy space suits, although I bet the Japanese are on to it.

    What is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you?

    Still yet to know.

    What is the most romantic thing you've ever done?

    Same as above.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #20 Matariki, Dec 13, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2009
Loading...

Share This Page