Rich Inner Life

Cool thread Ria

1.) The philosopher inner life- I constantly think of myself as a philosopher of life and the unknown. It is through this side that I get to question things about what surrounds me of who I am and where I'm going

2.) The Romantic inner life- I see my life connected to many beings in the world, I long for human connection and understanding. However, it is through this facette of my inner being that I feel most vulnerable and the part of me I avoid but at the same time it's the most beautiful.

3.) The Detached inner life- I maintain distance from my self and others. I see everything as not having an existence and the most depressive side of me; the nihilistic side of me.

4.) The Artist inner life- My most creative moments happen when I'm in this state. I can see colors and imagine things through my senses; I want to adventure out in the wild, talk with nature, be generous and inspire others to reach their best. You could say it's one of my happiest moments and most productive.

5.) Self-centered inner life- (I'm currently in this one). It's the phase of questioning and of loneliness. It's when it's all about me and if what I'm doing is for the best. I start to come up with new ways of looking into things and see if they have any potential for me to follow. I'm in a negative state but not in a bad way because I look at all the pros and cons of what I should be doing in my life.

 

Yes, this is very true for me, too. If someone were to ask, "How are you?" if I were perfectly honest I'd say, "Well, which me are we talking about?!?!"

 

The Normal Mode Inner Life: This is where I reside when I am in a neutral state. Thinking about the world around me, replaying a song or beat in my head. Quietly watching everyone around me. "where are they going? Hmm, there that kind of person, that's peciulare...". I will play imaginary games in my head. I am in a video game. There are icons and crystal around me that I collect. This one will increase my happiness meter by x amount. Going here will raise my inner vibration. Looking at this object will fire a beam that will trip a nostalgic moment, setting paramaters as such for an extended time. There are tables around me. I can "select" a person and pull down a glass menu on what they are like. Their MBTI, their IQ, there major, what class they are going to, their shoe size, their favorite food. Countless tidbits. Endless banks of data to go through. Eveything is color coded and marked.


I will post more modes later on. This could get long.

 

True...there is a:

Creative me...artistic, youthful outlook, full of ideas and wonderment

Wise me...studied a lot of history and spirituality, seen lots of this world. I honestly think I'm 180 y/o sometimes!!!

Stupid me...In spite of the above, still human. Fortunately I have a good sense of humor.

and an interesting one...

Dead me....cryptic I know, but spending the last 20 years raising kids and putting myself aside has left a permanent mark. Part of me doesn't even exist. Trust me, it can happen!! Thing is, I'd do it all over again.

 

It is calming, and I long for that mode. It seems oh so hard to get into anymore though. I don't think I have even ventured into it for months now.

It's good to leave it though, staying their leads to stagnation.

 

I would love to be in that mode! But it seems that every time I'm going there, there is something that stops me: "I'm not supposed to go there, I'm not allowed to go there, It is selfish to go there, I should be doing things cleaning the house, socializing, being nice to people ... and ... it is dangerous to go there. I have no idea where that came from.

I have an other one

the cold icequeen mode: Sometimes, mostly when someone hearted me or I feel I'm not allowed to be who I am, I completely shut down. I close myself of from the people around me, they are not allowed to see any special part of me again and I don't boater to tune into them anymore. But eventually, if they give me time, I warm up again

 

I have been thinking about this since our conversation Ria, and you are right there is more than two sides to you...I guess those two were just the ones that were relevant to our "situation", and how I was trying to make sense of you in regards to it.

Anyway, another one I know for sure, is the nurturer in you, I guess that comes from being a mother, but I think it comes out with all the people that you love. Also, I haven't quite pinpointed it yet, but there is a silly side to you too. What I mean about that is that I haven't figured out where that characteristic fits yet. Anyway, I will surely continue to try and figure you out, lol.

As for me, well I have no idea...like I've said to Ria, I don't know myself very well, she could probably give better insight into this than I could. I guess I know that I have different sides to me but I can't distinguish the characteristics of them very well, and give definitive descriptions.

 

I can very much relate to all of those sides.

For me, these are all part of the facet of me which only I know, and which nobody else can access, but there is also a surface, adaptative outer life which I lead, where I engage in smalltalk with people as if it was all that occupied my mind and act completely different to who I really am inside. I guess it is the 'socially acceptable' side of me, and the only side I am confident of portraying. I often feel that most of my inner lives are far too complex for anyone to understand, in particular:

- The sensitive, intense inner life----this is the part of me which suffers the most (and it only comes about during a period of deep sadness), and yet, it is the one facet where I can be truly inspired. I see things in a light that I'd never previously seen them in before. Everything becomes beautiful and life just seems to make sense. It is kind of supernatural; what you perceive and how your perceive- it's akin to being in another dimension, and it really does feel like that at times, especially when you look around you and realise that it is a place so beautiful and yet so destructive, that few others can access it.

- The inquisitive, curious inner life-----I guess this is the scientist in me. I'll be observing something or thinking of something else and then, all of a sudden, I'll have these random thoughts or questions about aspects of life/ history that appear out of nowhere, but which I want to find out the answer to.

 

Yes, I have many sides too. Some get shared freely by me, others are there but hard for people to pickup or understand. I've really been pleasantly shocked at some of the things people on this forum have been able to pickup on. Things that those who know and see me in everyday life haven't been able to fathom.

Sides to me that are easy to see/know:

The Nurturer--Yes, it goes hand in hand with being a parent and provider for so many of course, but it's more than that also. It's about Fe. I relate to my outer world by using my feelings. I want to constantly help and please.~(Kindness)

The Youth--I have always had a kind of young persons outlook on life, and still do. I am normally optomistic and always give someone the benefit of the doubt 'til I can't anymore. I still feel that inner fire of youth and can't really grasp that I'm as old as I am. This is both a good and bad thing at times. Not to say I feel I'm immature--quite the opposite actually.~(Optimism)

The Jokester--Once I am comfotable, I love to joke and make people laugh and smile. When I am in the right place I can be very funny and insightful.~(Happiness and Joy)

The Scientist--People usually pickup quickly that I'm intelligent by how I speak. I can be very analytical when needed (Ni/Ne). I often come across as an Absentminded Professor type, though that is not the real me. Maybe just a small part anyways.~(Curiosity)

Sides of me that are not so easy to see/know:

The Philosopher--Yes, constantly thinking about life, people, connections. The deep, pondering part of me. The part that can become obsessive about things. This is also the part that can worry my soul to distraction. I have to keep a close eye on this guy. But he can be a big asset too at times.~(Wonder and Drive)

The Poet--Yes, many may think this is a easy to see side, but not in real life. It is not shared with all, and I don't make it too obvious. This is a side I have ignored at times over the years. I've been unfair to him and am glad he's out to stay. He's too important and has the ablility to insprire others as well as heal my inner wounds.~(Creativity)

The Lover--Here is the most closely guarded one, though those who know me well feel his presence. This is the inner child really. The one that just wants to love and be loved above all else. His depths are unmeasured and boundless. But he is constantly searching and longing. Sadly, he will likely never be fufilled. But he inspires and guides all the others.~(Passion and connection)

 

In this regard I love life as an INFJ.....it is so, so interesting!!!!!

 

i guess it boils down to, the reason all the sides don't show is because it depends on the receptiveness of the person we are in contact with.

i'm starting to notice most people only know one side of me. a person will talk about me with another person--and the other person will be surprised -as if the person they are talking about is different to the one they know.

i like it a lot. it makes me chuckle to see this happen. one case it happens often is in art classes. people act as if seeing me in person is completely opposite to the person who makes my work/assignments.

 

What outsiders see:
Practical Me \Analytical Me \ Compassionate Me\ Ice Queen Me \ Problem-Solving Me Hard-Working Me \ Tough Me\ Listening Me

What family and friends see:
Sarcastic Me \ Humorous Me \ Depressed/Anxious Me \ Warm Me \ Loyal Me \ Thoughtful Me \ Talking Me

What my boyfriend and best friend see:
Annoyed Me \ Reader Me \ Artistic Me \ Romantic Me \ Loving Me \ Rowdy Me \ Creative Me

What only I see:
Spiritual Me \ Invisible Me \ Artistic Me \ Soft Me \ Constantly learning Me \ Truly depressed Me \ Lonely Me

 

i think for me these are the rarest sides to show

theyre definitely part of the inner life
i usually do kind things with no one knowing. and maybe i feel more comfortable that way.

philosopher/spiritual
i'm trying to develop my ESP ^^ nobody knows --i am just in my room, but very strange things happen in there lol. also pseudo dabbling a bit with wicca.