Remembering names | INFJ Forum

Remembering names

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by poetrygirl, Aug 4, 2009.

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  1. poetrygirl

    poetrygirl Community Member

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    Does anyone else have a hard time remembering peoples names? It seems like when I meet someone I instantly dive into analyzing that persons personality. I'm very focused on "who" this person is under the surface. I love learning about new people ;especially people I see as very unique or people that have a special quirk I haven't come across yet. So much so that I forget the general stuff (Their names is ___ they go out with ___) after first meeting them. When I see them again and want to talk to them ;I have to come up with ways to skip the name. "Hey what's up you!" :m161:"How are you doing?". Then hope that their name gets mentioned later so I can remember... I find I'm like that with everything. I don't care what you call something I want to know all about how it works; what it does. I'm comparing people to gadgets. I'm a horrible person I know.... :m095:



    Of course my social skills are much better now than they used to be and I rarely find myself in that sort of situation anymore. I understand that names are really important to people. When I was little though I think I offended a lot of people. They probably thought that I was a snob or disinterested. A part of me just wanted to tell them. No! I love you and cherish you as the completely special unique individual that you are! :m035: I am a 4 w5 so that probably has something to do with it.

    My name is actually really weird and I don't really get offend when people pronounce it wrong. I might just be used to it though.

    Anyway enough with my ranting
    • Do you have problems remembering peoples names?
    • Are you a name or a face person?
    • Do you get offended if someone forgets your name?
    • Do you get offended if someone pronounces your name wrong?
     
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    #1 poetrygirl, Aug 4, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2009
  2. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    i am horrible at remembering names, absolutely horrible. the exception is when i'm interested in you and even then that's variable.

    i'm remarkable at remembering faces, body movements, voice, and clothing though so i guess that makes me a face person most definately. sometimes i'll remember strangers and not understand how i could have had that information in my head without being conscious of it.

    i don't get offended when someone forgets my name. sometimes i find it rather hilarious. my name is not exactly hard to pronounce, but it's not very common and some people do pronounce it strangely by emphasizing the wrong syllable.
     
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  3. Ketsugi

    Ketsugi Community Member

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    I have the phone number of a friend... but I don't know his name. I sat next to him for two months. I'm a bad friend. :m169:
     
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  4. Milon

    Milon Director of Glomps
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    As long as I make a conscious effort to pay attention to the new name, I remember. I also try to make a conscious effort to use the new name right away, and a couple times thereafter. I'm definitely not a face person - I won't remember faces at all until I know someone. I remember names, voices. I'm an auditory person primarily. :)

    So far, I haven't been offended if someone forgets or mispronounces my name, but both are quite rare in my experience.
     
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  5. bamf

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    Ha this thread is great!

    I was working on a new crew today and met all new people, 7 if them actually. They all told me their names and I told them mine. I spent 9 hours working with these people today and they all seemed to remember my name but for the life of me I can't remember a single one of theirs. I could tell you all sorts of things about these people, how they behave and such, but nothing as simple as a name.
     
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  6. Faye

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    • Do you have problems remembering peoples names?
    • Are you a name or a face person?
    • Do you get offended if someone forgets your name?
    • Do you get offended if someone pronounces your name wrong?
    I am terrible at remembering peoples names. Its not just names either. Sometimes, I'll have this problem where I forget how to understand language, and even though someone will be talking to me in English, it will be like it is a foreign language. I was also relatively slow to learn English, and I think all these things are connected.

    I'm definitely a face person, though on rare occasions I can remember a persons name but not how they look. That is only 1/10 times though. The other 9/10 I'm a face person.

    I don't get offended if someone forgets my name, but depending on who it is, it can really feel bad. If it is someone who should know my name or someone that I'm interested in, then it hurts.

    There are different ways to pronounce my name that are pretty much correct. I accept the variations. I think it would be hard to really pronounce my name wrong.
     
  7. IndigoSensor

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    If I tell myself to remember someone's name, or they have a unique sounding name, it will stick. I am not great at remembering names, but at the same time I am not terrible at it.
     
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  8. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    Do you have problems remembering peoples names?
    Yes.

    Are you a name or a face person?
    I don't know, I don't ever visualize people when I think of them, I dont think of their face, I think of their name. But I have a hard time remember a ton of people's names. Also, sometimes people will come up to me and claim to know me and they'll look familiar but I'll have no idea what their name is or how I know them.
    Do you get offended if someone forgets your name?
    No, people never do. They just spell it wrong, and I tease them about it until they get angry :D
    Do you get offended if someone pronounces your name wrong?
    I don't think that's ever happened to me before.
     
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  9. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Can't remember names. Or birthdates. Or anything that has to do with dates or labels or anything like that, unless it's unique or has something I can anchor it to. My Si is absolute shit.

    I actually remember people's types but have trouble with their names. It's sad, and it perplexes the people around me.

    It never offends me when people forget my name or pronounce it wrong or forget my birthday or forget I exist -- I have a twin sister, my birthday is in the holiday season, and my name has so many variations that it's hardly funny. That, and I move around so much that I really don't expect people to know what's going on my life.
     
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  10. Indie.J

    Indie.J Community Member

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    I am horrible at remembering names, faces and where I've met people unless I've taken a particular interest in them and/or taken note. Many times people have come up to me looking excited that they've found me and I have no idea who the heck they are. I think I'm more a personality/mannerisms type of person. If someone starts talking or acting in a way that is familiar to me I immediately think "I know this person"

    I'm not as bad at remembering faces anymore though. If I've seen someone before then I usually know. But I seem to purely rely on instinct when re-meeting people. My gut tells me information about the person infront of me and I just go with it. It's like my subconscience digs up information I didn't even know I had and chucks it at me.

    As for my name, I don't really get offended unless the person should know it. There is one shortening of my name which I hate but seems to be the one everybody I don't know uses when they want to be closer with me. :) I sort of laugh at the irony because they don't know they are sabotaging their efforts before they even begin, but it doesn't bother me at all anymore as long as they don't call me by it when/if they do get to know me.
     
  11. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    I suck at remembering names. I have to hear a name at least seven times on several different occasions before it "sticks". In fact in one of my recent past jobs, hall directors were made to feel extremely guilty if we couldn't remember every resident assistant's name (yet there were over 200 of them!). I cringed each time I saw a face that I "should've" remembered, but didn't.

    My supervisors believed that not knowing someone's name was the equivalent of not caring about them. But I did care! I cared about the inner man, okay?

    I wish they could read this forum now! And thank God I'm no longer in that job.
     
    #11 arbygil, Aug 4, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2009
  12. Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    I am fantastic at remembering names! And what I have spoken to people about. I am however horrendous at birthdays and anniversaries and anything date related. I find it hard in relationships, when my boyfriend will say "dyu remember when we did this the first time", and I'm like noo... I end up seeming the less sentimental, and this is usually next to an INTx!
     
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  13. Shaz

    Shaz Community Member

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    I am the same. I remember faces and names really well (still remember most of the family names of all the people who were with me in primary school for example, even those I never talked to), but I always forget birthdays. I'm not even sure what the date my mum was born is, just know it's somewhere in january.
     
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  14. sedna

    sedna Community Member

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    Terrible at names. Will never forget a face.
     
  15. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    • Oh definitely.
    • A face person
    • Hell no, it doesn't take much to remind them, I find my business card works wonders
    • Yes. My name is Richard. How fucking hard is that? Understandable if english isn't their first language.
     
  16. Julia

    Julia Community Member

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    I struggle with remembering arbitrary details, and names are almost arbitrary except that they can place someone in their given nationality, but other than that there isn't anything about a name that is inherently connected to a person. Faces are less arbitrary and say a bit more about the person.

    I'm not offended about anything regarding my name. I go by a few variants and so people are sometimes a little confused, but as long as it isn't insulting, I don't care what people call me. I think it's cute when people worry about pronouncing my name correctly. I've had a few names in my life and so I don't actually feel all that connected to it. My most recent name is an extension of my legal first name because I thought it was pretty. It's like an extended nickname I chose, but everyone calls me by it here where I moved a year ago. I thought it would be good professionally because it is unique, so it is a sort-of stage name.
     
    #16 Julia, Aug 4, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2009
  17. Nela

    Nela Community Member

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    I only have that problem when meeting new people. I'm often trying so hard to keep the conversation going, that when people tell me their names, I've allready forgotten them 5 seconds later :). I try for it not to happen anymore, though. However, this is only the case when I meet someone new. After that initial fase I hardly ever forget a name. I don't like it at all when people forget my name, but I don't really mind when someone pronounces it incorrectly.

    Also I am certainly no face person. I can talk with someone for half an hour, and when I bump into them a week later I barely recognise them.
     
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  18. halicon

    halicon Regular Poster

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    - sometimes, if the person is an idiot then yes
    - face, especially a pretty one
    - no
    - no
     
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  19. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    First, I mentally catalog the color of the eyes of the person that I've met or am speaking with or listening to. I always remember the color of the eyes. Then the name. Hardly ever do I forget a name.

    Oddly enough, I forget faces. I can't visualize the person's face in my mind's eye when I'm apart from them unless I have known them for awhile.

    I get offended if someone forgets my name or mispronounces it because I am a goddamn queen.
     
  20. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    ^^ INFP tertiary Si versus very shitty, last-of-everything INFJ Si
     
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