I'm actually the same way. I'd rather not have to get in people's faces about this sort of thing, but I think it's just conditioning from getting sick of being talked over and ignored because of my quiet demeanor.
Pet Peeves When Comunicating
- Thread starter MrWindUpBird
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I'm actually the same way. I'd rather not have to get in people's faces about this sort of thing, but I think it's just conditioning from getting sick of being talked over and ignored because of my quiet demeanor.
two things
1) being interupted, I will not talk over a person and so instead I tend to let people rattle on forever
2) Not responding to something I've said annoys the crap out of me, which the makes mme repeat myself untill the respond because my brain says "oh they must not of heard me"
1) being interupted, I will not talk over a person and so instead I tend to let people rattle on forever
2) Not responding to something I've said annoys the crap out of me, which the makes mme repeat myself untill the respond because my brain says "oh they must not of heard me"
People have said lots of things here which are very familar to me.
I hate meetings generally, especially when I'm not chairing them. If I'm chairing it's ok because I can tell peope to shaddup, and they listen. If I'm not chairing I find it very difficult to make myself heard, because (as someone said earlier) I can't bring myself to talk over other people. So I mentally rehearse and compose my contribution, and try to make eye contact with the chair, maybe raise my hand ... by the time I have a chance to speak, I have a whole set of bullet points written down and I share these with great clarity, but I get blank stares because by this time the conversation has moved on to the next agenda item and my contribution seems somewhat irrelevant.
I think introverts should be given buzzers in meetings, llike the ones they use in game shows. And then you can just hit it repeatedly until they shut up and listen. Alternatively we can do the minutes and just edit and fictionalize the whole thing to suit our own purposes.
I hate meetings generally, especially when I'm not chairing them. If I'm chairing it's ok because I can tell peope to shaddup, and they listen. If I'm not chairing I find it very difficult to make myself heard, because (as someone said earlier) I can't bring myself to talk over other people. So I mentally rehearse and compose my contribution, and try to make eye contact with the chair, maybe raise my hand ... by the time I have a chance to speak, I have a whole set of bullet points written down and I share these with great clarity, but I get blank stares because by this time the conversation has moved on to the next agenda item and my contribution seems somewhat irrelevant.
I think introverts should be given buzzers in meetings, llike the ones they use in game shows. And then you can just hit it repeatedly until they shut up and listen. Alternatively we can do the minutes and just edit and fictionalize the whole thing to suit our own purposes.
The most affronting aspect of having to tell people though, is when you tolerate what is bothering you for long periods of time and then force yourself to tell them- politely- and then they say your being " oversensitive" and "intolerant"
I also thought of more: when some people make general statements without including a word to denote something as being general, when people say something they know is going to offend you and just say that it was a joke or that " you should be more light hearted", and -perhaps the most annoying, offence and irking one of them all- when someone makes a comment that postulates that because of someone's gender they automatically think,behave and perceive a certain regardless of who a person is an individual- sadly this is perhaps the most frequent, and one of the most common in both implicit and explicit forms
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passive aggressive hostility is really unnerving to me. i'd rather people come right out and say that they don't agree me, than to deny any disgreement and act in a way that shows they're lying.
Condescension bothers me. Probably the worst communication for me is when someone attacks me intrusively with false judgments. Their being wrong is frustrating, but it is far worse that they have intruded without permission. I distance myself quickly from such persons. There is a second frustration for me - that is when tunnel vision with irrational dismissal of important information is communicated under a guise of rationality. This is especially problematic if the position it support is potentially damaging to others.
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Same here.
Overall, I let people be themselves; quiet, loud, weird, smarty-pants
Yes, people being overly sensitive in arguments or debates since they usually end up using 'I'm offended' as though it constitutes a valid defence.
I usually have a very long fuse for anger, but I can get irritated easily. I can't stand PA behavior (as many on here have said): If you have something to say, say it. Don't be all namby-pamby, "hah, hah, I got you" about it. I ain't in kindergarten, and neither are you. 
I like debates with reason, but without heated emotion or name-calling. That's not a debate to me; that's an argument. I also don't like it when I'm attempting to compromise or see another side, and the other person does. Not. Give. An. Inch. That's a pointless discussion, IMO.
I also don't like people who dredge up something that happened, like, five years ago, and they're still mad about it. I mean, I had a friend who told me she was still mad that I missed her party, even though it was ten years ago. I mean, really? How could you hold on to something that long? Why would you? I want to talk those things out before they get to be something they hang over my head.
I don't like fake people either, as someone else put. Be who you are, but don't pretend. It's not necessary.
But really? Most of this stuff can be dealt with. I'm usually too polite to go off on someone and say, STFU!! because I don't have it in me to sustain that rage. I also don't like bosses who are the "hurry up and wait" types...that tell me something is due NOW when it's really due in three or four weeks. Or it could be friends/family who say they're ready to leave but it's really twenty minutes before we actually leave. I mean, I thought they said they were ready...? Oy.
I like debates with reason, but without heated emotion or name-calling. That's not a debate to me; that's an argument. I also don't like it when I'm attempting to compromise or see another side, and the other person does. Not. Give. An. Inch. That's a pointless discussion, IMO.
I also don't like people who dredge up something that happened, like, five years ago, and they're still mad about it. I mean, I had a friend who told me she was still mad that I missed her party, even though it was ten years ago. I mean, really? How could you hold on to something that long? Why would you? I want to talk those things out before they get to be something they hang over my head.
I don't like fake people either, as someone else put. Be who you are, but don't pretend. It's not necessary.
But really? Most of this stuff can be dealt with. I'm usually too polite to go off on someone and say, STFU!! because I don't have it in me to sustain that rage. I also don't like bosses who are the "hurry up and wait" types...that tell me something is due NOW when it's really due in three or four weeks. Or it could be friends/family who say they're ready to leave but it's really twenty minutes before we actually leave. I mean, I thought they said they were ready...? Oy.
- Nov 12, 2008
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Oh yes. Not really a communication thing, but it bothers me to NO END. If you say we are going somewhere, and you will be ready at 2, then you will be read, at 2. Goddamn lateness... I have thrown my friends purse out the front door of the house before because she was a half hour late. That was a little mean, but I have NO PAIENTS for people who say they will be somewhere at some time, and aren't there at that time. Ack!
OMG! yes I also hate lateness darng it..it annoys the heck out of me, my bus drive every single day, she calls me to go downstairs as she is passing by, I literally rush to get down..and then she sometimes comes like 30 minutes later!!ahh it annoys me so much..and you never know because some days she comes 30 minutes late and other days she comes right on time!!so annoying!!!
Being ignored or being interrupted, usually. It'll put me in a difficult mood, as being interrupted for me feels like the equivalent of saying, "I don't care about what you say." Even if it's in a large group and it's to be expected, it never fails to grate my emotions.
I would have to agree with hating to be interrupted or talked over, which is just incredibly disrespectful IMHO.
Lateness pisses me off as well, but I don't have to deal with it all that often. The worst time ever was when an acquaintance of mine agreed to give me a ride home after work. We stopped at a mutual friend's apartment at around 11PM and she started flirting with him.....until 3AM. She kept coming out of his room and apologizing to me and I kept telling myself that it couldn't possibly take much longer. My patience was coming to and end as they ducked out the door to giggle at me as I had begun to chain smoke out on the porch in boredom/frustration.
I was so bored that I flagged down a cop who was patrolling the neighborhood just to start up conversation. I should have known the cop would automatically assume I was on drugs or something and he was disappointingly interrogative.
About 5 minutes after I set off into the darkness on my way home, my acquaintance pulls up beside me. I didn't like her much after that.
Soooo yeah. Hate being interrupted!
Lateness pisses me off as well, but I don't have to deal with it all that often. The worst time ever was when an acquaintance of mine agreed to give me a ride home after work. We stopped at a mutual friend's apartment at around 11PM and she started flirting with him.....until 3AM. She kept coming out of his room and apologizing to me and I kept telling myself that it couldn't possibly take much longer. My patience was coming to and end as they ducked out the door to giggle at me as I had begun to chain smoke out on the porch in boredom/frustration.
I was so bored that I flagged down a cop who was patrolling the neighborhood just to start up conversation. I should have known the cop would automatically assume I was on drugs or something and he was disappointingly interrogative.
About 5 minutes after I set off into the darkness on my way home, my acquaintance pulls up beside me. I didn't like her much after that.
Soooo yeah. Hate being interrupted!
Yea, it is probably due to the fact that I can't form any sort of cohesive thought when I talk. Instead of being 80% misunderstood, I am only about 40% misunderstood on here. Just kidding.
Amen Amen Amen!
Condesation ( typo I know I'm sleepy) is another pet peeve I agree with I saw mentioned. And I find the condescending type are in absolutely no place to be that way.
And don't start throwing stones at me, I understand little of passive agressiveness but I may have that trait...someone give me the 411 please!
And don't start throwing stones at me, I understand little of passive agressiveness but I may have that trait...someone give me the 411 please!
When people go "Huh?" or "What?", when they actually heard you perfectly.
Then you repeat what you said, half way through they interupt and answer to what you said- so they did hear you the first time!!! Fucks sake...
Then you repeat what you said, half way through they interupt and answer to what you said- so they did hear you the first time!!! Fucks sake...
I just realized I have a tiny pet peeve. It's sort of like being ignored but it's more specific.
Like when I say something or come up with an idea and no one says anything and then when someone else says the same exact thing and everyone is like "What a great Idea!" I'm like in the corner muttering to myself "I just said that. This happens to me semi-often. I think it's my own fault for not being aggressive with my views though.
Like when I say something or come up with an idea and no one says anything and then when someone else says the same exact thing and everyone is like "What a great Idea!" I'm like in the corner muttering to myself "I just said that. This happens to me semi-often. I think it's my own fault for not being aggressive with my views though.