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[INFJ] opinion about ourselves, opinion about yourself!
- Thread starter Noona
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Internet was watching you!
Just kidding, it's beautiful how coincidence or faith just hit us when we need the most even if we don't realize it.
Well.... It's really uncomfortable
[QUOTE="Synergos you seem like a kind and gentle man. You appear to be functioning in a very kind, loving and peaceful manner. I'm sorry if you get told you're defective.[/QUOTE]
Hi @Daustus. Thank you! I try to keep my attitude always kind... Because other people never know what about we are suffering (if we are). But in the past, when I was a teenager, my patience was shorty and sometimes, harsh. Today I'm recovering my self respect... I'm in a relationship with a narcisist person, and, I gave space, more and more, so now there are almost no boundary... So my participation in this forum, for example, is a totally clandestine activity... But I try in do what is right and control only what I can. Find so kind people here was on the best things happened to me in some years...
Hi @Daustus. Thank you! I try to keep my attitude always kind... Because other people never know what about we are suffering (if we are). But in the past, when I was a teenager, my patience was shorty and sometimes, harsh. Today I'm recovering my self respect... I'm in a relationship with a narcisist person, and, I gave space, more and more, so now there are almost no boundary... So my participation in this forum, for example, is a totally clandestine activity... But I try in do what is right and control only what I can. Find so kind people here was on the best things happened to me in some years...
Yes... It's beautiful! I believe that there is a purpose in everything!
Thanks Sir @Deleted member 16771! Many times I feel guilt for my "defects". This is painful! I feel much better now!
Hi @Daustus. Thank you! I try to keep my attitude always kind... Because other people never know what about we are suffering (if we are). But in the past, when I was a teenager, my patience was shorty and sometimes, harsh. Today I'm recovering my self respect... I'm in a relationship with a narcisist person, and, I gave space, more and more, so now there are almost no boundary... So my participation in this forum, for example, is a totally clandestine activity... But I try in do what is right and control only what I can. Find so kind people here was on the best things happened to me in some years...[/QUOTE]
I’m sorry you’re with a narcissist. I know how hard it is to break away from that mind rape.
Being in places like this will help bring you back to yourself and hopefully, get your ass out of that situation....assuming, that’s what you want.
Thank you for your words. I started my 3rd (and definitely) break in 5 years. This time, with a psychiatric support. Earlier tentatives I didn't know what I was fighting with... So I feel selfish and guilty... But I don't will take my eyes from my goal. Turn off my feelings and be rational...
- Sep 28, 2008
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lately I came across a very uncomfortable person and I really don't know how to stand it anymore.
it is more than a year that I bear losing my patience only once but in spite of everything this person continues to attack. Aim to my work and my happiness by trying to destroy everything. trying to make me feel less of nothing as if what I was doing was useless and superfluous and that I should work harder while he remains sitting playing games on his cell phone complaining about how much his life really sucks and he would like to have money without working ( he has no job and does nothing to find one).
Now ........ I clarify that I cannot avoid this person in any way. How should I react to avoiding extreme situations? (this person is prone to violence)
I can keep calm but I don't know how far I will succeed.
Did you ever find someone like this? I tried to understand this person but I cannot excuse certain behaviors.
Have I to put more effort on understand this person?
Maybe this is off of this topic but in this past year I tried to help him in every single way, listen to him and tried to help him when he asked, found different way of solution to his problem, made strategic plans to move and change things ended up with him yelling to me. Why?
Sometimes I just want to destroy him psychologically but I hold back because i'm not like him and That's against my beliefs.
ah…. that's so difficult T-T
it is more than a year that I bear losing my patience only once but in spite of everything this person continues to attack. Aim to my work and my happiness by trying to destroy everything. trying to make me feel less of nothing as if what I was doing was useless and superfluous and that I should work harder while he remains sitting playing games on his cell phone complaining about how much his life really sucks and he would like to have money without working ( he has no job and does nothing to find one).
Now ........ I clarify that I cannot avoid this person in any way. How should I react to avoiding extreme situations? (this person is prone to violence)
I can keep calm but I don't know how far I will succeed.
Did you ever find someone like this? I tried to understand this person but I cannot excuse certain behaviors.
Have I to put more effort on understand this person?
Maybe this is off of this topic but in this past year I tried to help him in every single way, listen to him and tried to help him when he asked, found different way of solution to his problem, made strategic plans to move and change things ended up with him yelling to me. Why?
Sometimes I just want to destroy him psychologically but I hold back because i'm not like him and That's against my beliefs.
ah…. that's so difficult T-T
@Noona
That's a very tough one. I would recommend, given all the work you have done already to stay present peacefully, to avoid. Unfortunately, this sounds like a situation where that is very difficult to do. I will say that sometimes we bind ourselves where we don't actually need to be bound. Maybe take a look at the things that bind you to this situation to see if there are any you are placing on yourself that you could loosen to get some distance. If not physically, then maybe mentally? Are there ways to put up mental and emotional boundaries with this person? They still say and do what they say and do, but you can let it roll past you without leaving a mark? Ways to think about him that give him less power over your peace of mind?
I wish you well with sorting this out. It does sound incredibly difficult.
That's a very tough one. I would recommend, given all the work you have done already to stay present peacefully, to avoid. Unfortunately, this sounds like a situation where that is very difficult to do. I will say that sometimes we bind ourselves where we don't actually need to be bound. Maybe take a look at the things that bind you to this situation to see if there are any you are placing on yourself that you could loosen to get some distance. If not physically, then maybe mentally? Are there ways to put up mental and emotional boundaries with this person? They still say and do what they say and do, but you can let it roll past you without leaving a mark? Ways to think about him that give him less power over your peace of mind?
I wish you well with sorting this out. It does sound incredibly difficult.
Stay with the crowd if possible? Let others know what's up if you are fearing for your safety.
If this person prone to violence best just avoid like tovlo suggested
Good. By hating or holding a grudge against someone, you might just hurt yourself the most in the process.
Ride it like you stole it
Grey stone....show no emotion regardless of the psychological games.
I recently got out of a situation almost exactly like this. Except there was no threat of violence.
Some people don’t want help. They want you to do for them. All they will do is drain your life force. They use sympathy ploys and all other brands of tactics to gain your compassion.
They may even do one grand thing for you to make you feel obligated. It seems you’re an empathic human. It will be used against you.
Do your best not to get sucked into their woe is me horse shit. They will NEVER change.
Do what you can to take care of you first and only you. Their problems and lying ass sob stories are not your responsibility.
Rest assured. When they can find no way to use you, they will discard you. So make yourself unavailable.
If they are prone to violence, do whatever you can to get away. If anything seems out of hand record it. If they move in an aggressive manor, don’t run or fight. Don’t show emotion at all, none. That will just fuel their delusion of power and control. Once that gate is open it will get worse.
@Noona
That's a very tough one. I would recommend, given all the work you have done already to stay present peacefully, to avoid. Unfortunately, this sounds like a situation where that is very difficult to do. I will say that sometimes we bind ourselves where we don't actually need to be bound. Maybe take a look at the things that bind you to this situation to see if there are any you are placing on yourself that you could loosen to get some distance. If not physically, then maybe mentally? Are there ways to put up mental and emotional boundaries with this person? They still say and do what they say and do, but you can let it roll past you without leaving a mark? Ways to think about him that give him less power over your peace of mind?
I wish you well with sorting this out. It does sound incredibly difficult.
I rarely talked back to him, leaving him in his black aura. But it's not enought, thanks for yours advice, I will try in some way T-T I will come back saying "I did it well".... one day T-T
People near me know what's going on and did't do anything because it's none of their business. They just stay there and do anything, they stopped me too from calling the police, so..... the crowd sucks.
Tovlo gave me an extra push to believe that indifference is a good weapon.
aish.... why people are just like this?!?!?!?! T-T
I agree with every point. Theoretically speaking I could get out of a situation like this without much effort but in practice it is totally different and the variables really so many.
I'm in a thousand interests keeping my mind busy more than it already is for this problem, driving me crazy cause I can't stop my flow of thoughts. I believe I have not yet reached stability.
I started to think that he want to destroy me in order to succeed in his life, as if I had taken his place in life. Why? I've never done anything against him to deserve it. I can't understand him.
I'm trying to get out of here as soon as possible
yea, by what you are describing I'm starting to think that place is no good..
Maybe he jealous? who knows.. people don't need legit reasons to hate..
Sounds like a good plan to me
theoretically I have to call this place House……… theoretically
. another thing I want to understand, People and their hate but I think it's a really broad topic that's even impossible to start to talk about this, I swear
*Noona is planning her way to go far away*
I had a feeling the place you were talking about might be that..theoretically I have to call this place House……… theoretically
another thing I want to understand, People and their hate but I think it's a really broad topic that's even impossible to start to talk about this, I swear
*Noona is planning her way to go far away*
umph, idk what to say.. pls dont make any irrational decisions and try to keep your cool. Any people outside the house whom you trust and can let know whats happenin maybe?