One major misunderstanding people have about you irl?

[Grey Wolf]

almost everything actually
people that I dont let in anyway

 

[Billy]

That really happens for you? You come across differently online, but I can relate to it as well. I lived in one small town where a lady started telling everyone I was fragile. I am almost always tougher than people expect. I would say I am tougher than average, but I'm not certain by how much. I can see through a lot of tough fronts that people display, which when added to knowing how I'm put together makes me think I might be within 25% of toughest people, but I'm not actually certain about that. It's not exactly an accurate approach to measuring such a thing, but intuitive.

I tend to equate the ability to be nice with being tough because it shows you are resourceful enough to have something to spare for others.

Oh completely, being kind and gentle is a sign of strength, great strength. Its so easy to lock yourself away or be rude and wicked, its easy to try to pull the wool over peoples eyes and try to be tacky and talk behind peoples backs. Humans are often petty and pathetic, its takes power of will and strength of knowing who and what you are to stand against those ridiculous torrents of insanity. To actually say NO, I know enough that the things I do matter, that my strength can change things if its misused, that I choose to use my talents and skills for mutual benefit of those around me, that I am a gardener of people and relationships. And I will defend those because I have strength to spare.

I have never had a problem with courage, I was always able to make myself Just DO IT even if I was scared, I analyzed and took risk assessments and I do it... Ive done stupid stupid things in the name of my own curiosity, things that people who display false courage would be too cowardly to do. And thats just EASY stuff like smuggling narcotics or fighting impossible odds to prove a point and risking my life and health to explore the depths of my shadow. To know.

That's just the easy shit, it doesn't take much strength to sacrifice your own body for a thrill... it does take real strength though to care about the people and environment around you, and to live with a purpose, and to be rigid and unflinching in your quest to be a hero, to bring light and comfort to those who need it and shelter those who you meet along the way, to lead by example and to be true to your word, and let your inner soul burn with intensity. Thats where I think much of INFJ type peoples strength comes from.

Its a strength of essence. Anything we apply it to, we excel at. Thats our gift.

Counter balanced of course to those gifts are things like being a little neurotic, thats a price to pay, being quiet and mistrustful of peoples motives, being overly gentle in person so as not to disturb the environment... they lead people to think we are either stupid, or arrogant, that we dont want to talk to them. They see it as weakness... People fear what they dont understand. Luckily, that is none of my concern, I have learned to not care about that. Because when push comes to shove, I will react with anything i need to to come out on top of the situation if it has to come to that.

 

[Nighthawk]

Because I am very reserved and quiet irl, people assume that I am shy or have social anxiety. In reality, I have no fear of people ... just my preferred mode is quiet. Even among introverts I am pretty quiet. It's also been assumed that, because I am quiet, I am shortchanged in the brains department. Certainly people who talk incessantly are more intelligent, right?

 

[IndigoSensor]

One of my advisors in the chem department has called me "happy go lucky" before. ...yeah that's not me.

 

[Quinlan]

I don't know what people think of me.

 

[Gaze]

We're all misunderstood in some way.

 

[acd]

I think some people think I don't like them because I don't talk to them much.

It's not that I don't like them, I just don't have anything to say!

Same.

 

[Tremolo]

It depends on what part of me they see. If they see me at a club, they'd be surprised to know that I play pretty piano and am studious. As a waitress I was always kind of meek when I started, and my co-workers were a bit shocked when I suddenly started dancing to the music the cooks were playing. Basically there's always a fairly pronounced side of me that people would not expect when they first meet me.

As far as blatantly misreading... People think I'm meek or shy way more than I am. It's a learned reaction applied to certain social circumstances. My introverted family got me under the impression that people would like me better if I don't seem overly extroverted and confident. Anyone that knows me well would laugh if someone said that I'm shy though

 

[bamf]

People think I'm extroverted and outgoing, that I'm an asshole, that I'm insincere, that I'm dumb, or that I know everything (I only think I know everything!)

 

[dark_angel]

People assume I am status conscious as I have a polished, refined look but are surprised to find out the opposite. I actually had someone trying to befriend me acting as if I would fit into their snobbish clique and to see how they face fell when I tactfully corrected them on their error was priceless!

 

[Gaze]

I'm a geek, but i don't think that's misunderstood

 

[invisible]

people underestimate me severely. i always try and make myself clear when they're getting to know me but they often don't seem to catch on and end up getting rudely surprised. i think it may be very difficult to get my measure. i am packed with surprises.

 

[meander]

There are so many more than just one *chuckles*

I'd say the most major misunderstanding is thinking I am slow because I tend to be slow to respond in some conversations as I am otherwise occupied in my mind at the time, or I have nothing to contribute to a particular conversation. I've sat in a room for well over an hour while a conversation has been going on and never said a word because I felt that any contribution on my part would be completely masteurbatory. I also find it rather tiring in many situations to try and interject an opinion while two or more people already carry the conversation and rarely breathe long enough for me to get a word in edgewise. It is often the case when a circular debate is going on and I feel that any further discussion is pointless and the people are just enjoying listening to themselves talk far more than the actual content...I'll leave and not say a word, this tends to be when I get called strange, or if asked why I'm leaving and I tell the truth I'm called an asshole. *shrugs*

I have to second that, this is so true for me as well, I couldn't have described it better than you did.
I also presume, that most part of the discussion is not about the facts but about the social structure/hierarchy of ppl involved, everyone wants to have a saying and wants to be accepted, and I often think there is a gameplaying going on and I don't know/accept the rules (edit: because I inherently accept people speaking their opinion, I have a hard time vocalizing this).

 

[yepunsarang]

That I'm some kind of misanthrope.



This too.

Even some people who don't smile at least move their mouth around as though they're just thinking about something or are bored, etc., but I don't even do that. My face is like cement, lol.

Yes! Me too...unfortunately. Don't get it!!! Some ppl apparently think I don't like them aka hate them. :O I think I look sweet and nice though!

 

[yepunsarang]

Same.

aye, aye...another one of mine. It's frustrating really, when you DO want to say something but the circumstances make it kind of hard. I am definitely a better conversationalist/ talker (esp in a big group) when I'm given air to breathe and room to mull things over.

 

[yepunsarang]

Oh completely, being kind and gentle is a sign of strength, great strength. Its so easy to lock yourself away or be rude and wicked, its easy to try to pull the wool over peoples eyes and try to be tacky and talk behind peoples backs. Humans are often petty and pathetic, its takes power of will and strength of knowing who and what you are to stand against those ridiculous torrents of insanity. To actually say NO, I know enough that the things I do matter, that my strength can change things if its misused, that I choose to use my talents and skills for mutual benefit of those around me, that I am a gardener of people and relationships. And I will defend those because I have strength to spare.

I have never had a problem with courage, I was always able to make myself Just DO IT even if I was scared, I analyzed and took risk assessments and I do it... Ive done stupid stupid things in the name of my own curiosity, things that people who display false courage would be too cowardly to do. And thats just EASY stuff like smuggling narcotics or fighting impossible odds to prove a point and risking my life and health to explore the depths of my shadow. To know.

That's just the easy shit, it doesn't take much strength to sacrifice your own body for a thrill... it does take real strength though to care about the people and environment around you, and to live with a purpose, and to be rigid and unflinching in your quest to be a hero, to bring light and comfort to those who need it and shelter those who you meet along the way, to lead by example and to be true to your word, and let your inner soul burn with intensity. Thats where I think much of INFJ type peoples strength comes from.

Its a strength of essence. Anything we apply it to, we excel at. Thats our gift.

Counter balanced of course to those gifts are things like being a little neurotic, thats a price to pay, being quiet and mistrustful of peoples motives, being overly gentle in person so as not to disturb the environment... they lead people to think we are either stupid, or arrogant, that we dont want to talk to them. They see it as weakness... People fear what they dont understand. Luckily, that is none of my concern, I have learned to not care about that. Because when push comes to shove, I will react with anything i need to to come out on top of the situation if it has to come to that.

Brilliant. Thanks so much for this. I needed a little pep talk tonight and this was a great reminder.