I can bond to a degree with anyone.
I can admire something about almost anyone. I rarely dislike anyone and if I do dislike anyone, my mind usually changes after being around them more.
I like the complexity of people. The more time I spend with someone, the more likely I am to grow in my admiration of them even more and develop some sort of relationship with them.
This part for me as well.
That said, I don’t try to hold people at arms length any more. I like hearing stories and sharing them, and life is better (for me) by being open.
I am a gregarious sort, and I actually enjoy engaging strangers, doing a bit of small talk and really enjoying it for what it is, but also showing a part of me that is beyond the polite and eliciting something back that is as well. When that happens it is just the best — in a culture that is so surface, to just dive deep and express from a vulnerable and intimate place and giving that opportunity to someone else too.
I’m bonded with my beloved. Beyond that, I dunno how to say it — either I’m not bonded with anyone or I am bonded to some degree with everyone I know and who knows me.
I’m an ambivert.
But friends? I dunno — my sense is that because of how I define what a friend is, I don’t have many friends. My experience is that people in general aren’t into intimacy in the same way I am, and that’s one thing (among others) I want in a friendship. But when someone demonstrates that willingness to share of themselves and receive others in return, and there’s resonance — well, it’s magic.
To some degree my ADHD affects the nature of my relationships and bonding, and that’s for the better and the worse, depending. I’m sure it makes me more attractive to some, and less to others.
cheers,
Ian