Mysterious | INFJ Forum

Mysterious

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Quinlan, Jul 23, 2008.

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  1. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    Do you ever hold back parts of yourself in order to seem more mysterious/interesting? Personally I like trying to give off the mysterious vibe... :ugeek:


     
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  2. Obstinate

    Obstinate Regular Poster

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    Yes, but it's hard when you're meeting someone for the first time and you feel overtly responsible for making said person feel comfortable. I try though!
     
  3. Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    Not me. I'm not interesting enough. Plus, it takes effort. ;)

    What is the advantage of being mysterious? Any good outcomes? I mean, is coming across mysterious any different than coming across like you have something to hide? And if so, how do you differentitate? Too much effort.
     
  4. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    People have accused me of being mysterious which makes me feel like an idiot! I'm not mysterious and never try to be because it brings on too much pressure!
     
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  5. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    On second thought I guess I did do it when I was a dating teenager. I did the coy act a few times to put them on edge :oops:
     
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  6. Motor Jax

    Motor Jax randomness included
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    everything i do is always a mystery to those around me

    i always get the "what-the-heck-are-you-doing look" :shock:

    and then i laugh at them, and they don't even know why i'm laughing
     
  7. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    Damn you mysterious INFs, so fricken intreaging!
     
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  8. gokartride

    gokartride Community Member

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    I don't really have to try....generally I'm pretty straightforward, but many things about me are legitimately mysterious. I don't think most folks are put off by this though. Mystery to me is so connected to everyday life that it's not something I would generally feel the need to project.
     
  9. ssrprotege

    ssrprotege Regular Poster

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    I try not to reveal part of myself, but the reason is for self-preservative purposes.
     
  10. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    I don't hold back to seem mysterious....i do it to seem normal i guess...and when i get to know someone well enough to show more of myself I get SHOCKED faces all around! So i guess i could appear quite mysterious but that's not my intention!
     
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  11. HenRick

    HenRick Community Member

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    Do you mind me asking what is the coy act? :|
     
  12. CokeNut

    CokeNut Community Member

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    The so called 'mystery' is what i find most annoying about INFJ ...

    I guess its because I am an open book and it bothers me when I feel someone is keeping something from me (and laughing at me); I can read body language, but I can't read minds :evil:
     
  13. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    Cokenut will be happy to hear that I hold back parts of myself just to piss off people. :p

    Actually, I unintentionally hold back. In real life, I usually show people what I call my "bubbly" self, and if I like them somewhat then I show them my "intellectual" self, and if that hasn't scared them off I'll show them my "emotional disclosure" self. I also have my "daydream" self who I only share with special friends. I have one more self, my "sexual" self, but I honestly haven't found anyone to who I'm comfortable showing that version of myself.

    I've been working on being more self disclosing for a couple years now.
     
  14. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    1 a: shrinking from contact or familiarity <'tis but a kiss I beg, Why art thou coy? – Shakespeare> b: marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness
    2: showing reluctance to make a definite commitment <a coy response>

    Just silly games young girls play sometimes HenRick to keep the boys guessing.
     
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  15. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    This mysterious side of us that people comment on could be the fact that we have guards up to protect ourselves. It's not a fear but it's protection against taking on other people's feelings and emotions. And for me, it's not that I'm holding anything back, I'm just trying not to let anything in!
     
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  16. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    True I think all of us have pretty thick barriers To not let anyone in...And I think on some deeper level (before even taking the tests) All of us knew somehow we were different than everyone else...and they wouldn't accept our realities as theirs ( at least this is my experience) I know that my best friend of 15 years (ENFJ my counterpart) Has a pretty hard time understanding when i get talking about my inner world lol
     
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  17. gokartride

    gokartride Community Member

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    I regards to INFJ barriers, yes, they are there but for me the question is where. I have mine, true, but they are set way back from the surface. I am extremely warm, open, approachable...easy to get to know. I have rafts of pleasant, long term friendships based on this. But, I am also legitimately (for better or worse) a deep person and so even if persons know me well, actually understanding me seems to only remain the purview of the few, and that not based on my own barriers, but more based on the curiosity/interest of the other person. If someone and I share that unexplainable link, I am a completely open book.

    I say this by way of hypothesis.....INFJs, due to varied life circumstances, experience the same basic type-dynamics over a very wide range of behavior. We are the same, but we aren't.

    Anyway, I just hope INFJs don't feel too compelled into a withdrawn, secretive existance, when I believe it is very possible (and quite likely) to be an INFJ and still be quite open, warm, and genuine while retaining that deeper existance that is truly a gift.
     
  18. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I don't really have barriers so much as doors/; I'm perfectly capable at opening up whatever part of me there is....at exactly the right time with the right people. Otherwise, it's like that part of me is closed up and it can be extremely difficult to explain or even bring up.
    Anyways, I've never really felt mysterious by nature, and I've never exactly felt like people thought me to be mysterious, but I've never really felt like anyone understood me on a deep level either. I have felt like I understand things that other people don't, or I see things in ways others don't, and mostly I keep it to myself...and I suppose that's kind of mysterious, when you think about it.
    I always have been interested in mysterious topics too, like sociology/psychology and the paranormal, and if there's any connecting force between the two.
     
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  19. gokartride

    gokartride Community Member

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    Yeah, it's this way for me, too.....although I did have (what I consider now) the distinct privilege of knowing several people who did understand. In hindsight, those relationships were a real treasure...and tragically rare.
     
  20. OP
    Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    Do you feel that if you let someone in too far you will have nothing left of yourself that is just for yourself?

    Sometimes I feel that if I let someone all the way in and see all of me, I would be very exposed/vulnerable, it's hard to put in words...
     
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