It's the father's choice! | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

It's the father's choice!

I was discussing contracts being signed before the sex deciding how the baby would be handled it if were ever to come into place.

I think contracts regarding these things are an excellent idea.

I agree, but they are unrealistic. It goes back to each party needs to be responsible.
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I was discussing contracts being signed before the sex deciding how the baby would be handled it if were ever to come into place.

I think contracts regarding these things are an excellent idea.


Challenge individual facts/opinions!
 
I was discussing contracts being signed before the sex deciding how the baby would be handled it if were ever to come into place.

I think contracts regarding these things are an excellent idea.
I think it's a hilarious idea. And I would love to see a couple sign them before going at it.. Or rather, I'd love to be a fly on the wall while a man and a woman negotiate a one night stand.
 
I think it's a hilarious idea. And I would love to see a couple sign them before going at it.. Or rather, I'd love to be a fly on the wall while a man and a woman negotiate a one night stand.


Make it all web based.


They have an iPhone app for that!
 
Hahahah! You got the Man Card?

Dneecey officially loves NAI! :D
 
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I don't think the woman should take all the responsibility of course. But women should realize that we bear a burden the men don't. Whether or not it's fair, we do need to be more responsible, at least to ourselves, about who we sleep with, especially without protection, or else we put ourselves in a position where we're having kids with someone who doesn't care.


^^ This
 
I think it's a hilarious idea. And I would love to see a couple sign them before going at it.. Or rather, I'd love to be a fly on the wall while a man and a woman negotiate a one night stand.

Saw this and thought it would be funny to post it here:

The one night contract agreement provides a creative way to approach another person with a written request for a single night of passion, romance and intimacy.

Whether you're dating or committed to marriage, this one night contract can spice up your sex life. This sex contract
can go a long way and be fun, especially in a marriage, even if you make believe it's a one night stand, or one night
contract. It's Fun !

Your success is our goal too . . . .

I find you attractive and desirable. In an effort to get to know you better and explore
new opportunities, I propose we spend a romantic night together.

Any activities we engage in must be mutually agreed upon. I promise my intention
is to get to know you, with no harm intended, either physical or emotional.
Although some intimate powers of romantic persuasion are acceptable, I will never
attempt to force you to do anything you do not want to do. Our goal is to get to know
each other in as many ways as possible, (without dating) including but not limited to
adventurous, steaming hot, slippery "I can't take it anymore" marathon passionate sex.

This is a personal desire of mine. I want you. I agree to keep this experience between us.
It is strictly confidential. No one else needs to know. Friends, relatives, even strangers,
and especially our mothers will not find out, or ever need to know. We are not dating.

If in the event our adventure turns out to be a positive experience that you or I want to
repeat, I agree to limit the attempts to ask to see you again. Either one of us has the option
to ask the other again only once. If the second party says no, go away, I agree to never
bring up the subject again. In that event I further agree to uphold our one night contract and
keep the entire adventure completely confidential, and a one time thing.

It would be extremely rewarding for me to fulfill your every desire. I agree to put forth
every possible effort to please you. During our one night relationship, I promise I will
do my very best to fulfill your every desire, fantasy, want and need. Along with my own
passion and orgasmic sexual surprises, I will satisfy you in precisely the way you ask me to,
being as romantic as I can possibly be.

We agree to help each other clean up any messes including whipped cream & food stains.
I promise to keep my volume down, so we don't disturb the neighbors, or arouse suspicion.

We agree to leave quietly at our predetermined time without singing, skipping, or crying.
I agree not to leave any distinguishing marks on your body, including hickies.
Thank you very much for your consideration. I look forward to accepting your signature.


Your place? ____________or my place? ____________


Signed _____________________________________ Date______________



Signed _____________________________________ Date ______________

Brought to you by www.relationshipcontract.net
 
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I think both parts should consent seeing as it may affect the child otherwise!

A friend of mine who is 18 recently had a baby, when the father is 16 and has not even started high school yet... He was freaked out and wanted an abortion because he was not ready to be a father. But she insisted and decided to have it anyway with or without him.
 
My children's father doesnt pay support, even though I have them 70% of the time, and he has them 30%. For my particular situation, it is unique due to his chosen partner with a head injury and who is also an alcoholic, the school counselors have advised and supported me with not chasing him for child support because of the emotional cost for the children. Basically to make a long story short, he used to have them 50-50, thus suggested he didnt have to pay anything anymore because of that, but everyone eccept for my x and his gf, could see the shutting down process of the children. Legal issues had been costly of course, but the money's never been important for me like it was for him (them). Social serices got involved because of an event that the children witnesed while at his house, I met with them and made a proposal which was this: 70% time with me, and 30% time with him and he wopuld still not have to pay a cent to me. (all I cared about was my children's well being), and they said "Hey sounds great!"

I know it's a little off topic in a sense, and I have not read through the entire thread, but I think it's a contributing post because to me, it's not about money. Living and raising children is expensive. But, the priority should always be focussed on maintaining life, and living your life responsibly. Doing all you can for your family, even the unborn members. Children don't ask to be born. They are gifts of life that we as women get the privelage of experiencing hosting the development of new life. I mean, it's fantastic and divine, despite all the shit that pregnancy puts us through...

It's only 9 months though, and I don't think that copping out is an option. You make your bed, you lie in it. Don't like the lumps? Get the hell up and straighten the sheets. In other words, life is still what we make it, and as long as our hearts are in the right places, we do the right things.

My views on abortion and pro-life, are somewhat difficult to explain. I hope I don't frustrate any readers of my post, because what I will say is this: I understand how abortions get decided on. I believe that in some certain instances, really extreme instances, they may be necessary. However, even though I am pro-life, I still go by the motto: I might not agree with a word you say, but I'll defent to the death, your right to say it.

I don't believe people are right or wrong in their beliefs, because those beliefs are theirs, not mine. And, they developed those beliefs for whatever their particular life story wrote. All I ever ask of others, is to really try to think about the future of their choices. It can really help to do that, because when you play the tape forward, you give yourself permission to have choices and make decisions that you might not have once considered. It's worth thinking about, and I mean really, this is not a decision to be taken lightly. Yea, guys often run, or they stick around because they feel they should. But, sometimes it's worse when they stay, because there can be resentment, leading to unhealthy family dynamics. It's really wise to make sure everyone's on the same page, and if not, then to try to do the lesser of two evils.

What is money when compared to life? Money don't mean shit.

You can always find a way to get by, and even if finances are tight and that hurts, (cus yea, I've gone without supper MANY times just so my kids had food for the day), a growling tummy and a bad night's sleep hurts less, than if they were spending more time at their dad's and unhappily missing me.
 
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So... I have experienced a lot about this subject in my life sadly.

Slant I understand where you're coming from on the father having a choice.

Let me say that besides being raped.. sex is a choice! Two people consent to have sex with one another, whether or not they are thinking about it at the moment, it's like signing an agreement.. There is enough knowledge about this to know that when having sex there is the possibility of pregnancy... There. Right then and there. The choice was made.

I am just barely, just hanging on by a thread, pro choice and only to rape victims/women who have experienced sexual abuse. You don't want to get pregnant, you don't want to have a baby, use a condom, use birth control, don't have sex. That is your choice.

As for the rape victims.. even this is hard for me to swallow. I am related to two flesh and blood adults who were results of rape in teenage girls. One is my cousin.. my very favorite cousin, whose life is so amazing. I can not even imagine what life would be like if her mother, my aunt, had decided to abort her. She was 14 when she was raped by a minister from her church.. She chose to keep the baby, my beautiful cousin..

The second is my brother in law. My mother in law was raped when she was 15 and she went through hell to keep her baby. Her family shunned her, she had to support him on her own.. and I fully believe that my life would be completely different if she hadn't kept her baby boy.

So.. this is why I am just barely pro choice and only for rape victims, because I know the full and amazing LIVES that are being ended when abortion is chosen..

Now as for the choice of the father... my other brother in law is still to this day devastated over the choice that his ex girlfriend made almost 8 years ago to abort the child they created.. He mentions it often.. I have seen the pain and grief this causes and it is so sad.

I think in choosing whether or not to give a child, yes.. it's my opinion that this is a child, a chance at life.. both parents SHOULD have a say.

I know what it's like to carry a baby in my body. I have had two very rough pregnancies that both resulted in emergency C-sections... I almost died giving birth to my daughter, and giving birth to my son was only slightly better. I also spotted heavily during my pregnancy with my son, and was afraid the whole time that I was going to lose him, in fact the doctors said my body was literally trying to abort him... I know how hard pregnancy can be.

But when two consenting adults make decisions they should realize there ARE consequences, sometimes the consequences aren't what we would like. If the woman does not feel capable of caring for the child but the father wants the child, then she should carry to term, with his FULL support,and then sign over custody to the man. She made her bed damnit! Lie in it. If she does not want anything to do with that child, then she should stay out of that childs life until that child is old enough to make the decision to seek her out...

Women learn to be single parents with no support. My mom was one. You learn. You adapt. A man can do the same thing. I think there should be more help for single parents, but it's possible. The man should go into that situation knowing he may not have any help at all, and if he still wants to go through with it, then the woman should, and they should probably sign some sort of contract.

If the woman wants the child and the man does not.. then he should do the same thing that I said the woman should do. She should prepare herself to do what many.. MANY women have done before her, and be ready to raise a child on her own if she wants that child. If she doesn't and chooses not to abort, then she should consider adoption... That man should stay out of that childs life and that womans life, until the child is old enough and makes a decision to seek him out...

And both of the people who don't want to have a child and decide to abort, need to grow the F up, quit having sex, quit procreating, quit being so damn selfish and get a freaking life where they stop taking someone elses....

( I wasn't going to post on this topic... sorry Enty, if I didn't say what you thought I might.. )

Okay, you're against abortion. That's not what this thread is about.
 
I see where you're coming from.. is Slant's solution unfair. yes. but whether the mother knows ahead of time about the dad skipping out, it happens all the time. Should he have to pay for his actions yes. But I've seen many fathers who never do.

And that woman should have thought about who she was getting busy with.. before she did it.

Is it right? No. Is it the truth, does it happen all the time...? I think so.

While there are people like you demanding this "solution", there will always be men who punch a woman in the abdomen, or kick her down the stairs, in order for the fetus to be terminated.

A child costs 1,000,000 dollars to raise to the age of 18.
Child Support is not even at a set rate, it's a third of the earnings (before tax) of the father, whatever his earnings are.

The world is overpopulated... Why should a guy have to pay for this unwanted resource sucking fiend that he didn't want to be born, for 18 years of its life, when there's not even DNA tests required. Shit, she could have poked a hole in the condom for all he knows.

This planet is overpopulated and you want to ENCOURAGE women to keep popping out spawn with a financial incentive? And make no mistake, it really is a financial incentive once the father is giving more money to the mother "for the child" than is actually required for the childs upbringing as, once again, child support is based on the fathers income, rather than requirements for the childs upbringing.
 
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I'm now getting frustrated. Do I need to edit my first post and explain, once again, this thread has nothing to do with pro-life or whether abortion is right or wrong? Do we need to clarify, like on the first page we did, that the fathers who are opting out are OPTING out and will not be seeing the child so there is no need for child support? Do I also need to mention that we excluded situations of rape in the very first post, and are not talking about those situations?
 
As much as I like telling people what to do, ya can't control what other people do. Nature has set it up that the woman has to physically put her own life at risk to bring new life into this world, or terminate it. Nature has it so a man is able to walk away from a pregnant woman (literally, figuratively, financially, emotionally, any which way), or stay and raise a child.

No one has to answer to me why he chooses to skip out on child support payments. No one has to answer to me why she chooses to abort a child. I answer to no one but myself and God (more importantly).

I think the system is a bit flawed. The law assumes that a child born in wedlock is wanted, and after a divorce the non-custodial parent is required to pay child support. Looks like things are pretty settled there. Of course if you marry crazy and she pokes holes in the condoms it was your own fucking fault to marry her. Do I think children should be born out of wedlock? Absolutely NO. Is it any of my business if there are children born out of wedlock? Hell NO. It's the same for abortion. People don't fit in boxes and there are always circumstances leading up to different choices people make.

You don't get any pats on the back for choosing life. You don't get any for not.

Now to the child support thang...I would like to see men be able to completely walk away from a pregnant woman if she is not his wife. He will sign over his rights as a parent to the mother and have no contact with the child unless he wishes it and the mother is feeling benevolent. I think a child needs two parents, but if one is being a dick two is not necessary.

The mother will not be allowed to collect child support through a court system after that.

I hate to turn this into the marriage thread, but since this thread got turned into the abortion is wrong/right thread I figured I'd have a go at things. Love is not a contract but marriage sure is. By marrying that boy I have agreed to carry his babies and he won't have to worry about the possibility of those babies being the mailman's. We both agreed that we want babies, so he doesn't have to worry about me running off and aborting them all without his knowledge. If i do something like that (here's the super magical part) he can divorce me, and pay a relatively small fee for dumping my ass. Of course he has to pay for sticking his dick in crazy. You always pay a price to stick your dick in crazy, fellas. Of course therapy is expensive, but you know if there were no reason for therapists a lot of people would be out of a jorb.

I'll do it once more (this time with feeling). Ladies, we shouldn't have the right to collect child support if the father doesn't want the child. We do have the right to not subject ourselves to the pain of child birth (that is where our entitlement) ends). Gentlemen, you don't have the right to tell ANY woman what to do with her body (unless she likes that sort of thing) you do have the right to not have anything to do with gold diggers, or women with biological clocks ticking. You have the right to get a vasectomy. (I think it should be easier, but we'll save that for another day).
 
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Well christmas, at least you stayed on topic.

I'm going to have to request, as the thread started, that we stay away from these abortion right/wrong things and stick to the system.

I was also curious to see if anyone else had suggestions to making the system more fair for men as women have most of the rights, and the majority of you agreed men should have more rights but it was not cited what rights they should have and how we could enforce those rights. I'd like those who stated men should have more rights to think about your statement and at least attempt to explain it further.
 
I'm pulling a slant.

What if Jesus was aborted?! o_O
 
I'm going to have to request, as the thread started, that we stay away from these abortion right/wrong things and stick to the system.

Completely illogical, you can't dismiss a relevant source of information as "out of scope" simply because you do not want to address it for your hypothetical but in no way practical argument.

I attempt to add a practical perspective to this argument. The morality of abortion IS relevant because it affects the weighting that you give to options available to women vs men. But I am not arguing the morality of abortion, I am stating that other people do, and this law would affect them just as much as anyone else.

Am I THAT far off?
 
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While there are people like you demanding this "solution", there will always be men who punch a woman in the abdomen, or kick her down the stairs, in order for the fetus to be terminated.

A child costs 1,000,000 dollars to raise to the age of 18.
Child Support is not even at a set rate, it's a third of the earnings (before tax) of the father, whatever his earnings are.

The world is overpopulated... Why should a guy have to pay for this unwanted resource sucking fiend that he didn't want to be born, for 18 years of its life, when there's not even DNA tests required. Shit, she could have poked a hole in the condom for all he knows.

This planet is overpopulated and you want to ENCOURAGE women to keep popping out spawn with a financial incentive? And make no mistake, it really is a financial incentive once the father is giving more money to the mother "for the child" than is actually required for the childs upbringing as, once again, child support is based on the fathers income, rather than requirements for the childs upbringing.


You obviously didn't read anything I wrote. I did not even come close to demanding a solution. I rather agree with Slant in that if a father doesn't want to have anything to with a child then he should get the F out.

I think women should use their damn heads and not believe every sweet thing said or done by a man who is obviously just trying to get laid, with no consequences.

But I think that a man that doesn't live up to his responsibilities is not a man but a worthless piece of shit and needs to Fing grow up. Don't quote me unless you know what I said and actually read it, Shai... I like you but, maybe read everything next time and not just what suits your point? K thanks.
 
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I'm pulling a slant.

What if Jesus was aborted?! o_O

LoL!!!

Completely illogical, you can't dismiss a relevant source of information as "out of scope" simply because you do not want to address it for your hypothetical but in no way practical argument.


^^ Agreed.