Is keeping in touch online inauthentic?

Faye

Faye

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Retired Staff
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This question includes both online relationships and keeping in touch online.

I highly value talking to people online, both people that I met online and people I met in real life.

In a way, I am a different person online than I am in real life. I'm much more open. This, combined with the fact that online relationships (in the general sense) can only go so far and be so satisfying, it makes me wonder if it is an inauthentic form of communication. I feel a sense of guilt when I try to talk to people on messenger sometimes and they don't take it so seriously.

Does anyone else feel this way, or do you think it is an authentic mode of communication?

Or is everyone on the internet depressed or lonely or something? Is it ironic that I am asking a forum this?
 
I live almost 4,000 miles away from all of my family and friends and online communication is the easiest.

And the only people I have talked to online that I have never met is everyone on this forum ; )
 
Does anyone else feel this way, or do you think it is an authentic mode of communication?
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I think I'm more the person I would like to be online, and so for me it's a turely authentic way of communication if you're actually interested to know the real me.

I'm a lot more reserved in rl. the result of meeting someone online, is that when I finally meet them offline when I go travelling, I am actually totally comfortable in their presence, rather than reserved and withdrawn.



my closest friends are people who I have met online first, and I talk to them about things I wouldn't even talk to with my offline friends. I have people who I consider friends offline who I still don't feel at ease with.

this, coupled with the fact that I view online communication [at least online voice communication] exactly the same as I view communication with someone in the exact same room as me, since I can't see them either way, yes, I think it's a totally acceptable way to make friends and even have relationships, as long as you have the intent of physically going to be with them as much as you can.
 
i think everything you do is authentic, because you are YOU and You my friend ARE authentic ,get it?
techniqually there is nothing you can do to rid yourself of your authenticity
one thing might be to assume the truth of this understanding can be got from without.
when we all know.
Alls you have to do is look within :P
cheesy i know:m027:
 
Dragon said:
This question includes both online relationships and keeping in touch online.

I highly value talking to people online, both people that I met online and people I met in real life.

In a way, I am a different person online than I am in real life. I'm much more open. This, combined with the fact that online relationships (in the general sense) can only go so far and be so satisfying, it makes me wonder if it is an inauthentic form of communication. I feel a sense of guilt when I try to talk to people on messenger sometimes and they don't take it so seriously.

Does anyone else feel this way, or do you think it is an authentic mode of communication?

Or is everyone on the internet depressed or lonely or something? Is it ironic that I am asking a forum this?
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In the sense of not taking communication seriously or respond to people's messages, I am exactly the same online as I am offline. I really really really am bad at keeping up with people and I actually talk to people moreso online than I do my real friends in life--and the people online I don't even speak to frequently...gawd, I'm so neglectful.
 
I'm more articulate in writing, but you know the whole - blank blank percentage of communication is through body language. So, if the person you are talking to is a good body language translator, then perhaps they are getting a more candid communication. But, how much of your face to face conversation is altered in response to the other persons instant non-verbal or verbal communication? So, writing is less interupted. But, I find, I miss my animated acompaniment that I have with face to face communication. So, both have percs.
 
I like the freedom of being able to say what I'm really thinking online. Irl, there are many people that I feel I can't communicate with because they monopolize the conversation. I try to be a good listener, but there are times when I'd like to be heard as well. Online, I can talk about what interests me for a change. As long as you are honest, I don't think communication is any less authentic.
 
I think it probably depends on whom you ask. It is what it is, and if you feel it's authentic, then that's exactly what it is. Some of my best friends in the world are people I met online. Some I have actually met and it changed nothing other than knowing what they're like in person; those I haven't met IRL aren't any less a friend than those I have. The friendship itself doesn't feel any more or any less authentic because we met face to face. With video calling and such, really the only thing missing from online communication is being able to touch. No big deal, in my opinion.
 
I have very mixed feelings.

I think in some respects, it helps communication, because of ease and the ability to find and meet people from a multitude of places.

In other respects, it does tend to hurt other forms of communication. It is so convenient that it's easy to forget to TALK to people. Especially those people that you already know. I think it hurts close relationship communication more than acquaintances. Though, of course, that is a generality. Sometimes, it helps or creates those relationships.
 
I think it is possible for others to inauthentic irl, so it follows it can happen online too. The dicey thing about communication and building connections is that both sides have to want to be genuine. Trust is the thing you have to build and I think you can build trust online. It's a mixed bag. The best thing about online is you get to click off but irl, those people are near you.
 
I don't mind online friends keeping in contact online and it's also, good for RL friends. RL friends are expected to communicate by IM or emails. Blogs and facebook are not acceptable as the primary form of communication. I don't want to read about my friends' lives like I was reading the newspaper. I put a tremendous amount of effort into my friendships and I need to know that it's reciprocated. It's is hard for me to maintain an emotional connection once friends leave so one to one communication makes it easier for me. Also, I would like to speak to my RL friends at least once a year in person or by phone call. I don't expect more than that because once you've moved life changes drastically. I am not unrealistic. I hate that practically everyone lives overseas but I've said this before.
 
CorLeonis said:
I have very mixed feelings.

I think in some respects, it helps communication, because of ease and the ability to find and meet people from a multitude of places.

In other respects, it does tend to hurt other forms of communication. It is so convenient that it's easy to forget to TALK to people. Especially those people that you already know. I think it hurts close relationship communication more than acquaintances. Though, of course, that is a generality. Sometimes, it helps or creates those relationships.
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+1

I do think online communication is slightly inauthentic not because people are being dishonest, but because it's incomplete. You can't get a complete picture of the person you're interacting with. You don't have the added element of body language, voice, etc. I am one of few people who enjoy talking on the phone. It's difficult getting to know someone by email, chat, etc. It just doesn't feel as spontaneous or real. I like being able to speak with someone, hear their voice, etc.
 
I don't think online communication, as far as e-mails and skype/instant/text messaging are concerned, is inauthentic. At least no less authentic than phone calls or hand-written sentiments. However, I can't help but feel that social networking (myspace, twitter, facebook) is really inauthentic. For example, I haven't made a peep on facebook with any of my 'friends' in nearly a year. Randomly, a bunch of people messaged my wall wishing me a happy birthday. I guess that feels inauthentic to me in the sense that I never hear from these people unless facebook or something notifies them...
 
Res said:
+1

I do think online communication is slightly inauthentic not because people are being dishonest, but because it's incomplete. You can't get a complete picture of the person you're interacting with. You don't have the added element of body language, voice, etc. I am one of few people who enjoy talking on the phone. It's difficult getting to know someone by email, chat, etc. It just doesn't feel as spontaneous or real. I like being able to speak with someone, hear their voice, etc.
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I agree with what you said. I prefer interacting with people irl. However if it's an acquaintance who means something to me, I'll generally ask them how they're going online.
 
It's an interesting topic for sure. I don't think communication online is inauthentic unless, as has been pointed out, the person is being inauthentic.

I find it very easy to communicate with people in writing and that is why the internet has been so good for me. I am totally myself as I would be in real life and generally, I have found that most people I've met this way are so too.

I do get a sense of things not being entirely authentic with Facebook. People are of course very wary about putting it all out there and perhaps there is a tendency to gloss over things for the sake of saving face. I also think there is just as much boring bloody chit chat on there as there is in real life. I really don't care what someone had for breakfast or whatever. If it's funny or interesting, post it but otherwise ... not sure why you feel the need! That's just my lack of interest in small talk asserting itself there.
 
Sonyab said:
I think it is possible for others to [be] inauthentic irl, so it follows it can happen online too.
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Indeed! Off-line relationships can be inauthentic just as easily as on-line ones can, it's the quality of the relationship and the give-and-take that matter, although it is easier to read a person irl. It's just different, is all.
 
There is a certain something to interacting in real life compared to the internet. I dont think 'authentic' is the right word to describe it though. But I def prefer irl.
 
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