Is an infj more apt to let their feelings get hurt than other types?
- Thread starter just me
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It has been brought to my attention to look at something I had previously not given an awful lot of thought to. When I give of myself deeply spiritually, and I mean give of myself a lot more than most consider, I am more apt to be hurt by rejection when trying to share spiritual things with others they cannot accept. I must add this is when trying to share spiritual things concerning religion to someone of like religion, not to someone of a different or no faith. This rejection, when one is at a spiritual high, is of the most devastating type of hurt feelings I have known. It is a good thing to better understand this type of thing now, as in the future I know better what to expect and can therefore either be more prepared for such reactions or just keep things to myself. One close to me offered that maybe things I am shown are not for everyone and may be for self. That is more difficult to cope with than the rejection at times, I feel.
Having come to the knowledge of personality traits and times of birth and such, I feel more eager to share without the worry of getting my feelings hurt. Knowledge has helped me to feel much better and get my feelings hurt much less now.....or at least be able to cope with it much better.
Having come to the knowledge of personality traits and times of birth and such, I feel more eager to share without the worry of getting my feelings hurt. Knowledge has helped me to feel much better and get my feelings hurt much less now.....or at least be able to cope with it much better.
I think I tend to get my feelings hurt very easily, unfortunately I can also actually feel other peoples feelings getting hurt as if they're my own. It can be really hard sometimes but I'm trying to toughen up and not let things phase me quite so much.
I don't think I get my feelings hurt more often than anyone else, but I do think it happens for a different reason.
Now, I don't know how much of this is INFJ, NF, or whatever, but I always seek for meaning. I'm trying to find the under-lying meaning to everythng. Since I do this, I see more to a story than others might. And if the under-lying stuff is disurbing, then I will react. Which may make me seem more sensitive than others, because they don't see what I see.
One very "infj-y" thing is how we tend to let everyone spill their guts even when we don't really have the time or patience for it. We sit down and listen anyway. People generally don't seem to do this to the same extent, but in the past I have counted on others to do that for me, just to find out how wrong I was. That has hurt me.
Now, I don't know how much of this is INFJ, NF, or whatever, but I always seek for meaning. I'm trying to find the under-lying meaning to everythng. Since I do this, I see more to a story than others might. And if the under-lying stuff is disurbing, then I will react. Which may make me seem more sensitive than others, because they don't see what I see.
One very "infj-y" thing is how we tend to let everyone spill their guts even when we don't really have the time or patience for it. We sit down and listen anyway. People generally don't seem to do this to the same extent, but in the past I have counted on others to do that for me, just to find out how wrong I was. That has hurt me.
Yes, I think I'm more prone to get my feelings hurt than most other people/types. I've noticed I tend to hide the hurt feelings and be more quiet or feel a little ashamed afterward. I'm not sensitive to unfounded criticism or someone thats really pissed rambling at me, and I can tell the difference. But criticism from people I like or respect can be hard on me and stay with me for a long time, plus I take it pretty seriously.
Do you think part of why criticism can cause hurt feelings in INFJ's more often is because we're generally very self-aware and we don't often get criticism about personal behavior? I've wondered if this plus all around sensitivity is responsible.
Do you think part of why criticism can cause hurt feelings in INFJ's more often is because we're generally very self-aware and we don't often get criticism about personal behavior? I've wondered if this plus all around sensitivity is responsible.
I'm in the habit of wanting to savour the entire experience. I throw myself in whole heartedly, thus set myself up. But I think, because I have been emotionally injured to the point where, I was absolutely sure the pain was going to kill me, and that was a daily occurance, for years... yet, I survived. I'm not afraid to dive in deeply. I have faith in my constitution. The promise of discovery and enlightenment is so solid with a dive, that to not chance the pain that goes with the dive, is to inhibit my emotional growth and evolution.
I'm not sure if you're right overall, but I definitely think that an INFJ is more likely to hold back their feelings from other people and feel terrible for it. though this may well be true of other I-F- types as well.
I am definitely the one of my group of friends who gets her feelings hurt the most, and I am usually the one who listens to everyone about almost anything they want to talk to me about, and I find my friends less likely to do that for me sometimes.
I am definitely the one of my group of friends who gets her feelings hurt the most, and I am usually the one who listens to everyone about almost anything they want to talk to me about, and I find my friends less likely to do that for me sometimes.
Well, we're likely to keep our feelings inside, feeling as if
we need to work through the issues by ourselves. There
are various reasons for this.
Personally, my feelings are rarely hurt. Generally, strong
feelings are most evoked when working through an issue
internally, regarding the direction/state of my life. Little
things don't bother me (though, I can also react out of
proportion to little things, essentially because they are
indicative of some more prevailing issue).
I think I'll agree with having your feelings easily hurt
being more of an Fi thing. In a sense, Fe is quite an
impersonal way of dealing emotionally with problems
as they arise - in that they are sorted out directly,
rather than being internalised and dealt with based
on internal states.
I'll agree with this though:
we need to work through the issues by ourselves. There
are various reasons for this.
Personally, my feelings are rarely hurt. Generally, strong
feelings are most evoked when working through an issue
internally, regarding the direction/state of my life. Little
things don't bother me (though, I can also react out of
proportion to little things, essentially because they are
indicative of some more prevailing issue).
I think I'll agree with having your feelings easily hurt
being more of an Fi thing. In a sense, Fe is quite an
impersonal way of dealing emotionally with problems
as they arise - in that they are sorted out directly,
rather than being internalised and dealt with based
on internal states.
I'll agree with this though:
I'm an INFJ and my feeling hardly ever get hurt. I think this forum is partly the reason why. This forum has taught me to understand myself better so now I don't give a fuck what people think. I know me better than anyone.
Edit: but when I do get my feelings hurt its usually not on purpose
Edit: but when I do get my feelings hurt its usually not on purpose
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My feelings get hurt pretty easily. I bet other people are the same way, too, but they're just better at hiding it.
I just thought of an actual example.
There's this one guy that visits my house a lot. I don't particularly care for him or what he has to say. But he loves to talk, and he needs an outlet. That much is obvious. He'll talk about how mean his ex-wife is and the stuff she does. It's basically just rambles, but I listen actively because I feel like this is the nice thing to do. If nobody listens, then maybe he'll build it all up inside and get sick over it.
I kind of expect anyone to do this. If someone really needs to vent, then listen no matter what. But lo and behold, of course whenever I say anything (no matter what it is) the dude doesn't listen much.
Stuff like that really agitates me. I guess the whole idea of me opening myself up to listen judgelessly to someone SHOULD mean that others will do that, too.
There's this one guy that visits my house a lot. I don't particularly care for him or what he has to say. But he loves to talk, and he needs an outlet. That much is obvious. He'll talk about how mean his ex-wife is and the stuff she does. It's basically just rambles, but I listen actively because I feel like this is the nice thing to do. If nobody listens, then maybe he'll build it all up inside and get sick over it.
I kind of expect anyone to do this. If someone really needs to vent, then listen no matter what. But lo and behold, of course whenever I say anything (no matter what it is) the dude doesn't listen much.
Stuff like that really agitates me. I guess the whole idea of me opening myself up to listen judgelessly to someone SHOULD mean that others will do that, too.
I wouldn't expect many people to listen to others.
It's important to have someone that will, though.
It's important to have someone that will, though.
