Is an infj more apt to let their feelings get hurt than other types? | INFJ Forum

Is an infj more apt to let their feelings get hurt than other types?

just me

Well-known member
Feb 8, 2009
13,957
13,522
1,746
MBTI
infj
Are we more apt to let or allow something to hurt our feelings than other types? I would like to hear how others would respond to this, if I may....and if we do seem to "get" our feelings hurt easier. Is it a weakness or does it build heart? Can it cripple for life? Can we change our feelings as we grow? Any thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated.
 
Last edited:
I think we seem to get hurt more easily than the others. But I believe its because of the way we look at things. We tend to look too much into something which would then make us feel hurt. Sometimes the hurt is warrented, sometimes its not. But one thing I"ve learnt is to try to not let your hurt feelings make you do things that are not beneficial. For example, if you feel hurt and feel like eating ice-cream all day, control. But if you feel like exercising, by all means go for it , though at the same time not in the too extreme part.

Thats how I cope with my feelings anyway.
 
I feel as though I am a strong person most days. While I am riding my high for that day/s. I know I will crash and with just one statement or look from someone I will break. It hurts and or I get pissed off. If I get angry it doesn't last long. I do not hold grudges. It would drain me if I did.

I notice it more online because tone has a lot to do with how I perceive something said. You can't read tone on the net.
 
I think it's an NF thing. Not an INFJ thing.
 
well, i think for the INFJ, i know i tend to relish in the feelings; whether good, bad, strong or hurt... to know the heart of someone, i want to know how they feel and being hurt helps with my empathy towards them...

... it is not something i want to stop... but it helps to keep me humble and to kinda feel where the other person is coming from...

... i think on some subconscious level, others know this too... and i find myself a confidant to them and what they are going through...




... i agree it being an NF thing too...
 
I think that we are more apt to internalize what others say to us. This makes us more prone in my opinion. I don't think it is solely an NF thing; I think the I and J are also significant. The I is significant because it makes us more likely to look inward and reflect on these thoughts, particularly if they are dark. The J is important because it makes us organize these thoughts that ought not to be organized, which can create or reinforce negative attitudes about ourselves and make words or thoughts much more painful because they are more deeply ingrained.

This might not be true, but it doesn't seem unlikely to me.
 
i can see the J also, as INFJ, there are set morals and standards that we set for ourselves... and only when those morals are tested do the feelings take over, therefore exposing the core that is us...
 
I know I can at times. It usually happens when I get upset, the other person usually does not have a clue unless I say something about it. I tend to set expectations for my self and others and when they are not met I would get upset. Now I try not to make expectations and I just go with the flow until it is time to not go along. You can always change your thinking and for me it has been a happy experience. I look at it as learning a new skill..
 
Are we more apt to let or allow something to hurt our feelings than other types? I would like to hear how others would respond to this, if I may....and if we do seem to "get" our feelings hurt easier. Is it a weakness or does it build heart? Can it cripple for life? Can we change our feelings as we grow? Any thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, yes, and yes again. INFJs, ones here and that I know irl, are quite sensitive when lacking self confidence. They so often view objective thought or some statement as an attack on their personal beliefs. The whole NF temperment is "validity seeking," and INFJs that are not confident in themselves can be a real hassle...as they feel invalidated by many things that they misconceive as personal.

But this isn't exclusive to INFJs, the whole NF temperment can have issues with this, particularly if the individual in question is not secure in themselves.
 
So, you are adding that insecurities and/or lack of self-confidence add to the possibilities of having one's feelings hurt easily. That seems both logical and easily understood. I see our passion toward something can help to lead to this, also, which seems to be the other side of the fence....so to say. It may not always be a lack of something or having less of something, but can be also having a lot of something or more of something. or should that be ?
 
Yes, INFJs and NFs as a whole are more likely to be sensitive then other types
 
Most of my hurt feelings come from a deep disappointment in another person. Even as a kid if someone I cared about insulted me or called me a name my feelings wouldn't be hurt because I believed what they said - I'd be hurt because I would never see the person in the same light again. Not that I couldn't forgive them, because I forgive quite easily, but the trust level would be altered and it wouldn't be quite the same again.
I agree with efromm about going with the flow and not having expectations.
And I've learned not to brood. If I get my feelings hurt I acknowledge it and just go on with the flow. I don't examine my feelings as much as I used to and I don't replay conversations over and over in my head anymore. It just gives me a headache.
 
So, you are adding that insecurities and/or lack of self-confidence add to the possibilities of having one's feelings hurt easily. That seems both logical and easily understood. I see our passion toward something can help to lead to this, also, which seems to be the other side of the fence....so to say. It may not always be a lack of something or having less of something, but can be also having a lot of something or more of something. or should that be ?

And that's the basic lesson of MBTI. All the types, except ISTJs, have gifts, and all the types, except INTPs, have flaws. We capitalize on our strengths and correct our flaws...MBTI is just a tool for understanding what those strengths and flaws are in the first place.
 
And that's the basic lesson of MBTI. All the types, except ISTJs, have gifts, and all the types, except INTPs, have flaws. We capitalize on our strengths and correct our flaws...MBTI is just a tool for understanding what those strengths and flaws are in the first place.

lol please don't tell me you're being serious.
 
My feelings can be hurt easily (more so when I was younger, but I have to care about you to hurt my feelings now) but you would never know it. I tend to hide my real emotions and fake levity a lot.
 
We most certainly do get hurt more than others. But I think it is because we give more of ourselves. We give of ourselves from our hearts and not for the glory. So when someone belies our trust or does something equally stupid - we are hurt.
 
i think.... infj may feel more profoundly than other types but with more more emotional control via Judging to react to the situation, and able to reduce the damage
infj just like all human beings, we only do things that we will feel good, and yeah give ourselves from heat. giving and helping to some may sometimes seem "uncoditional love" but ultimately we all do it for ourself~! and if we dont see the possibility of getting some positive feedback(even just a smile) in return we wont do anything, its human nature, and yeah, if we dont help and give true empthy when we think we might be able to make a difference ,we cant forgive ourselves.


i find that myself... the more hurts, the more feeling(emotional) side gets stronger, the judging part cant no longer control as frequent as before.

eventho the judging is what makes infj most secured and prouded of. however, i only wish to have half of the judging, coz it often makes me hesatate, loosing opertunities, and too defensive to a point that will have negative effect, e.g.... not too willing to take risks that i see very little chance of winning

and maybe its because i'm a saggi, i have the tendency of wanting to feel more. I'm not willing to let the feeingl over power J but sometimes hates the J over power the feeling ... just cant help it most of the time...
 
Last edited: