I have issues with attachment. I sometimes get very attached to people quickly (usually boys). Does anyone else have this issue? What do you do?
I want to still be genuine and not play games, but I also don't want to scare people away.
Yep. And I've wondering how to change this. It's an annoying trend for me. And it tends to come across as unattractive and even "needy." So, it's something I'd like to change about myself, and it probably has quite a bit to do with confidence. I hate being pushy, and i don't want anyone to feel imposed on by me, so i'm glad I recognized this, and now i'm looking for a way to change it.
I don't think it has to do with confidence Res as much as Fe. I too get attached fairly easily and when I do........ I don't feel I lack in confidence (thought this may not have been the case in my past). As INFJ's we relate to people, and the world, through are feelings. My opinion is that it's a natural extension of this. I think it levels out as we get older and more balanced, we learn to relate in a variety of manners (different functions) and don't rely just on Fe. We also become more self-aware (as you have stated) of doing this and thus have somewhat better control. But it is still our preferred mode and we can still get caught up in getting too attached. Let's face it, it feels good to do so, though it may not always be healthy.
I don't think it has to do with confidence Res as much as Fe. I too get attached fairly easily and when I do........ I don't feel I lack in confidence (thought this may not have been the case in my past). As INFJ's we relate to people, and the world, through are feelings. My opinion is that it's a natural extension of this. I think it levels out as we get older and more balanced, we learn to relate in a variety of manners (different functions) and don't rely just on Fe. We also become more self-aware (as you have stated) of doing this and thus have somewhat better control. But it is still our preferred mode and we can still get caught up in getting too attached. Let's face it, it feels good to do so, though it may not always be healthy.
Yes, I do agree though that we can definitely get TOO attached, and it can often be unhealthy. We need to be aware and draw boundaries if needed. I still say it can have a "feel good" allure to it. Obsession often does. Again not claiming this is healthy, just something that is present.
Well it can certainly be different for different people. If we are trying to find commonality amongst people, and our type in particular, it doesn't appear we are in agreement here. Perhaps it's because there is not a common, driving reason. Maybe people get attached for different reasons, depending on the peoples involved. Maybe we each get different things out of being attached (or over attached). INFJ's tend toward OCD I believe, so this is involved too I think. When we go all in, we go ALL IN.
Yes, I do agree though that we can definitely get TOO attached, and it can often be unhealthy. We need to be aware and draw boundaries if needed. I still say it can have a "feel good" allure to it. Obsession often does. Again not claiming this is healthy, just something that is present.